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one more family loss.
2 years ago
today, around 06:20, hospital called.
at december 10, we had to put my mom into hospital. it turned out there was a weak heart, fluids in tissues everywhere, diabetes, and a stubborn infection around her legs causing a sepsis. and that sepsis had caused multiple internal organ failure... so to intensive care she went.
she was mostly unconcious until recently she woke up a little more. I visited her at 24th, where she seemed to recognize me. a day or two later she was moved from IC. yesterday she was awake, so things looked up.
tonight though, she gave up.
on one hand, her suffering is over. also, if she had ended up needing intensive care she'd have suffered more, and I wouldn't have been able to afford that.
on the other hand I desperately needed her retirement income, the house needs to be paid off, and the mortgage rates are as high as my own income. so I'll have to talk to the bank eventually soon.
and now I'm alone. not alone alone, there are friends still, the neighbours she was friends with and who helped her a lot getting around while I was working, and family from father's side. the majority of them are decent people and functional families, but they live all a good distance away. at least we can phone...
but from mom's side there is nobody left anymore.
later I'm going to go to the hospital and do what needs be done, and try to be an adult.
2022 hasn't been too pleasant, either. I have no hopes for 2023.
at december 10, we had to put my mom into hospital. it turned out there was a weak heart, fluids in tissues everywhere, diabetes, and a stubborn infection around her legs causing a sepsis. and that sepsis had caused multiple internal organ failure... so to intensive care she went.
she was mostly unconcious until recently she woke up a little more. I visited her at 24th, where she seemed to recognize me. a day or two later she was moved from IC. yesterday she was awake, so things looked up.
tonight though, she gave up.
on one hand, her suffering is over. also, if she had ended up needing intensive care she'd have suffered more, and I wouldn't have been able to afford that.
on the other hand I desperately needed her retirement income, the house needs to be paid off, and the mortgage rates are as high as my own income. so I'll have to talk to the bank eventually soon.
and now I'm alone. not alone alone, there are friends still, the neighbours she was friends with and who helped her a lot getting around while I was working, and family from father's side. the majority of them are decent people and functional families, but they live all a good distance away. at least we can phone...
but from mom's side there is nobody left anymore.
later I'm going to go to the hospital and do what needs be done, and try to be an adult.
2022 hasn't been too pleasant, either. I have no hopes for 2023.
Like you say, at least she isn't suffering any more.
*hugs*
I'll do what I can, thank you. <3
*hugs*
*hugs*
*hugs*
thank you. <3
thank you. <3 *hugs*
2022 wasn't a good year for nobody, it seems.
I'm sorry. I wish I could do something, but I can't even send over a meal :( Deutschland ist ein bisschen weit weg für essen.
It's just nice, when one is mourning to be able to throw a thing in the microwave and not have to cook and clean up. Our little community does everything by giving food. It's funny. Have a cold? They'll bring food. Buy a house? Let's give food. Cancer diagnosis? ALL THE FOOD.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcJjMnHoIBI
Es ist kein schönes Jahresende für dich, 2023 wird sich für dich wohl noch vieles verändern.
beerdigen ist noch das kleinste problem, ich werde das institut beauftragen, das meinen bruder 2021 zu grabe getragen hat, da kennt man sich schon, und ein urnenplatz ist auch schon da. aber dann kommt das erben, udn grundsteuer hab ich auch noch nicht gemacht, das ist so irrsinnig kompliziert...ich frag mich ob die selber durchblicken. und das haus muß auch abbezahlt werden.
aber wie ein bekannter so gerne sagt, irgendwas geht immer.
*knuddel* <3
I’ll pray for you man.
thank you. <3
Trotz all der Widrigkeiten und der Dinge die dir widerfahren sind, wünsche ich dir alles gute für 2023.
danke dir. <3
I hope 2023 will be much gentler and kinder to you, than 2022 was. ) :
thank you. <3
thank you. <3 *hugs*
I'm dealing with something very much in parallel to this myself. It's painful to know they're suffering, and see it progress day to day. She has peace now though.
My heart goes out to you.
thank you. <3
Das ist immer schwer.
Ich hoffe das Du die Probleme lösen kannst.
*knuddel*
danke dir. <3
*hugs*
I hope you are able to pull through things and can get what needs to be done all lined up so it can be dealt with easily.
*Hugs* I am still out here if you want to chat sometime.
hope so, too. time to act like an adult, I guess.
thank you. <3 *hugs*
I’m here for you, if you need anything or anyone to talk to. Take your time with all this.
Sending all my love and best 🧡
thank you. <3
Ich kann sehr gut verstehen, wie du dich fühlen musst. Dabei hoffe ich, das die Beileidsbekundungen
dir kraft geben und durch die Schwere Zeit helfen.
danke dir. <3
<3
The next few days will be hard. I hope that you'll will have some help at this time when it is needed most. I hope the whole process of dealing with the house will go easy for you. You will be in my thoughts.
yes, there are people around to talk to and get a hug from, at least. it's just... I lived all of my life in this house, and now suddenly I gotta move out. I'm a little bit scared... but it seems unavoidable.
thank you. <3
I hope now you feel better at least partially emotionally and with bank / mortgage things
there are still too many things to do, and still sad thoughts. at least I have some goals to live for.