Oh Gott. Das ist schrecklich. Mein Beileid auch an deine Mutter.

danke dir.

That's so sorry to hear... My heart goes out to you and your family, wishing that you can find peace and consolation.

thank you.

Oh no. I'm so sorry. Hang in there, and take care of you and yours.

thank you. I will do my best.

53 is way too young, such a shock. My condolences.

right? thank you.

Sorry to hear that man. Wishing the best of this situation for you and your family.

thank you.

I’m so sorry, Anbessa...

thank you.

That's terrible, my best to you and your family.

thank you.

My condolences.

thank you.

I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my dad last january, I know how it is.

thank you.

so sorry to hear that. *hugs*

Sorry to hear about this. I lost a cousin at about the same age a while back -- they never knew what caused it.

thank you.

maybe somehow that makes it worse... not knowing the why. not that one could do anything about it.

It did. He brought home pizza and ate it with his parents (my aunt and uncle). He watched some TV and fell asleep on the couch. His parents found him the next morning.

ouh. one likes to think it was at least swift and painless.

one thing that happens often here in europe is people living alone, no ties, no friends around, and one day they die and no one notices it for weeks if not months... until the letter box flows over, or the smell becomes apparent. or maybe someone needs to see them for something. I think the longest was over 14 months until someone caught it.
my dad died in his sleep from if I recall right, acute heart stop, despite a pacemaker. maybe not painless, but surely swift. next morning the neighbours noticed since he didn't show up to grab the newspaper as usual, and didn't answer to knocking on the door. so at least we were spared that... (dad lived alone after the divorce many years ago)

In many places in the U.S. (I live in Connecticut, where this is common), neighbors may notice something amiss and call the emergency services (911 is like Germany's 112). The local or State Police will perform a Welfare Check to ensure the person in question is okay.

One of my former supervisors lived alone after driving his family away (not a nice guy) and after three days his employers called. The police found him in the bathtub with a broken neck. A friend worked the hotline; she said he had only passed on a few hours before the check -- cause of death seems to have been dehydration -- with all the water he needed inches away.

Another friend works for the State Coroner's Office. I hadn't seen him in years; he had retired as a State Trooper and when I met him he reeked of Vicks^® VapoRub™. The investigators rub it under their noses for -- well, you can guess. It was exactly what you described above; an old man had passed away during the Summer months. Sad, but it happens. Make arrangements for someone to check in on you!

our neighbourhood is at least lively and might check on us if they see no activity anymore for a few days. so it might at least not be months of festering. but yes, should I go away to a con for a long weekend I'm going to tell the neighbours to have an eye on mom.

An excellent plan.

I'm so very sorry for your loss <3 if you ever need to talk, I'm here

thank you.

and thank you for the offer.

So zu gehen ist für die Angehörigen nicht schön, da man keine Chance hatte sich zu verabschieden. In dem Alter denk noch keiner an das Sterben, für ihn ging es schnell und er musste wohl nicht lange leiden, aber für euch ist es um so schwerer. Ein Mutter sollte nie um ihre Kinder trauern, da dies für sie ein besonders schweres Los ist.
Mein Beileid für deine Mutter und dich. Auf euch kommen jetzt schwere Zeiten zu, denkt aber immer an die schönen Momente in euren Leben mit deinen Bruder zurück, so bleibt er immer in euren Herzen.

so seh ich das auch, nun da der erste schmerz vorbei ist. weise worte... danke dir!

I lost my cousin the same way. He was in his twenties.

*hugsssssssss

V.

aw no. :(

*hugssssss

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, condolences to you and your family.

thank you.

How terrible. I'm sorry this had to happen, and so suddenly too. I understand the emptiness and numbness you are going through right now. I did it three years ago when dad died. I know what follows can be very difficult to get through and arrange. I hope you will have some support in this to ease the process. We'll be thinking of you.

yeah, all the bureaucracy... *sigh*

thank you!

Ah, hell. My condolences.

thank you.

My condolences for your loss, stay close to your relatives in this difficult moment, be sure to rest and take as much time as you need to process everything. We are here for you.

*coony hugs*

thank you.

*leonine hugs*

Oh no! I am sorry to hear that. I hope that the following times are not too stressful. As morbid as it is, many people do not talk about or have a death plan. It is always good to have a basic start on a death plan, even in good health so those left behind have some guiding steps while they grieve (not a dis, just its something people don't normalize or want to talk about and it ends up overwhelming) Lots of my friends hate talking about what they want, and how they want proceedings to go. I've dealt with a lot of death among family and friends, and always handle it in a strongly blank clinical way till it really hits years later or when those around me are very emotional.

when Paul's dad died last year I was the only one that knew about the processes and steps, and what happens (as I have minor interest in it, and have personally a death plan)

I cannot imagine losing a sibling in this way. Or in any way, its a lot to think about. I don't know the rules in every place, but I do have resources and general information if you wish for any links or broad explanations. Or just to have someone to talk about it with.

Much hug and support.

personally I'd like to be crematized, put into a cheap jar, and buried at the roots of some tree (germany has some places like that, basically old forests declared burial sites. nobody knows where the urn lays, but there is a plaquette up a prominent tree if someone needs to address the deceased.). as easy as possible... the rest of the family lives a good distance away, and I don't want to be a bother.
I need to ask my mom about her plans. I'm trying to think things clearly, now that the first pain and tears are gone. the rest will surely follow soon enough...
you're right, plans need to be made.

in germany things can be complicated and often, expensive. savings, insurance, belongings, contracts... and in this case, a collection of firearms. there are rules to everything... it is how it is.

thank you. *hugs back*

I am very interested personally in the new (and getting slowly accepted into areas) alkaline hydrolysis/water cremation, but I have a feeling that its not something Paul would be most happy about. We've talked about it before and its really not a topic he likes but I try to gently talk about it time to time. I think he might prefer burial, and or cremation gems perhaps. He is my bright flower full of sunshine, and doesn't like talking about passing.

Before I learned about that process I wanted a natural burial with a woven container or something that will break down out in a forest or somewhere not in a "rental" or a space that can never be used again, where eventually it will be forgotten. Both of my parents have some plans but they don't want to talk about past money issues (like they have money for it, and that I don't have to worry)

I can imagine other places can have very strict rules for many parts of the stage. Including the left afters and papers. Paul's dad had firearms too, and Paul needs to take a safety class to obtain one of them. His sister and her husband also because she was left one them.

what I'm really afraid of is inheritance tax. it has ruined private persons before when the deducted tax is higher than the available cash, and real estate sometimes takes very long to sell... we bought the house we live in last year, and half is split between me and my brother. so I inherit it, and will have to pay a lot of taxes. there will be life insurances, of course, but I suspect that money will be falling under tax as well. the best chance is to win the lottery and have enough cash to pay it all off, but of course, it's always someone else who wins the jackpot.

I have to ask my mom what she wants to be done after demise; buried here, or with her sisters' graves at a place in beautiful blackwood forest, but 1.5hr drive away.

I can kind of relate to your husband. it's like, talking about it is like acknowledging it's existence, and who wants to do that...

I am so sorry to hear this :(. Condolences to you and your family.

thank you.

I'm so sorry for your loss ~ ❤️ Wishing you and your family all the strength to get through the hard times.

thank you.

I'm so sorry to hear that, Anbessa. It's terrible when such a loss happens at all, but especially when it comes so suddenly. My condolences to you and your family.

thank you.

can't imagine what mom must have felt, waiting all day for me to come home... :(

*offers hug*

thank you. *hugs back*

Anbessa, sorry for your loss, all of my condolences ! Hard to find words for this :( . Stay close to your mom and help each other! Gives you a big lion hug!

thank you! I'll try my best.

Condolences and best wishes. A good funeral home will be able to guide you through everything that comes next.

thank you. yeh, we'll be needing one. bureaucacy here is so self-fulfilling Joe average can't see through it. here funeral homes usually offer full service with all forms and stuff and where and how to bury the deceased...

Sorry for your loss Anbessa. My thoughts are with you and your family.

thank you.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

thank you.

*drückt dich schweigend*

*redrück*

That's horrible! I'm so sorry to hear. I cannot fathom what to say in these situations other than, I feel for you :( .

thank you. that's quite enough, I wouldn't know what to say, either.

Oh, Anbee, Riff and I are so sad to hear this.
We send our sympathies and deepest condolences.
May your brother's memories be eternal.

thank you.

until I die, if not longer.

Oh man... I'm sorry to hear that. *offers hugs*
Kia kaha, my friend. Please take care.

thank you. *hugs back*

I'll do my best.

I am so sorry to read this. If there is anything i can do, let me know.

thank you.

dunno, but your offer is highly appreciated.

53 is still young indeed. :(

absolutely. my poor mum, parents shouldn't have to bury their children.

My Condolences to you and your family over the sudden loss of your brother. Be Strong my friend, as your family needs you now. May you all soon find comfort in remembering all the good times you had with him.

thank you. I'll do my best.

I'm so sorry 'Bessa :(

thank you.

Omg I am so sorry for you! My deepest condolances, here's hoping you can weather through this!!

thank you. I hope, too.

I'm very sorry about that. Be brave...

thank you.

Zen hugs if you want them, my friend.

all hugs are welcome, thank you.

I'm sorry for your loss Anbi

thank you.

Fühl dich umärmelt. Das sollte nicht in diesem Alter passieren. Bleibt stark ihr alle und nicht vergessen Trauern ist wichtig und erlaubt.

danke dir. *reknuddel*

I'm so sorry for your loss. My condolences to your family -- so hard on everyone.

thank you.

Very sorry to hear.

thank you.

I'm so sorry.

Now is the time to just breathe. There will be time to figure everything else out eventually.

thank you.
I'm trying to figure things out and stumble over simple things like missing PIN, unknown passwords, keys that are hidden somewhere... he might have stated it somewhere, but where? *sigh*

That is tough.
You might be able to get access to the PIN once you have a death certificate, but the passwords and keys are a tough one. All in good time though. I hope you and your family are doing well.

thanks. we are working our ways through everything.

Damn, that's horrible. My condolences.

thank you.

I am terribly sorry for your loss. :( reminds me of a friend I worked with for 20 years, he had heart problems and never knew it, his left arm would go numbish at times I guess as he would be shaking it often when gaming and then he had a heart attack that caused brain trauma.

I have no idea how bad it must be to loose someone that close in your family, I hope you can get through things somewhat easily with what you have to figure out now. *Hugs*

we've been living in the same household for all my life, which is 49 years now... even if we weren't the closest siblings ever it's still hurtful, and kind of strange when you half-wait for him to come home or somesuch, and... y'know.
or when you have to take care not to buy too much food now.

we learned what actually had happened: he had a heart attack with clogged main aortas by the heart, and as the doctoirs started to attend that, the remaining main aorta ripped open. there is no chance at all to fix that... it was a swift and hopefully painless death.

problem is now, we have to figure everything out. accounts, insurance, passwords, PINs, what to do with his belongings... no fun at all.

*hugs* thank you.

Oh weh...mein allerherzlichstes Beileid für dich und deine Familie.

Nimm dir soviel Zeit wie du brauchst um zu Trauern und mit deiner Familie zu verbringen.

dankedanke.

ich arbeite dran. und daran, all die passwörter und abonnements rauszufinden. :P