Hey all, what's up?

Let me start by saying "thank you" to all who went and gave me a watch on my secondary account  goodgollygosh. It means a lot to me that people are willing to take a look at all of my art, instead of just what's here. If you haven't yet, please go give me a watch over there! There's not much there yet, and I don't really have a direction I want to take the account yet, but it's where all my non-kink art is gonna go. Not safe for work mind you, but non-kink.

Secondly, I plan to start using my Twitter more. I want to use twitter to post more sketches and doodles that otherwise just wouldn't fit here in the main gallery, even in scraps. I'll post all my work over there basically, from sketches to finalized pieces. I just think it would be a cool thing to do to let me share my art more frequently, and allow you all to see what images may be coming up in the future. Ulitmately it's just more eye candy for you guys, so if you'd go and follow me there, I'd really appreciate it ^^! My account is: https://twitter.com/CrinkleVins

And now for the meat of the issue and original point of the journal. This whole last month or month-and-a-half really hasn't been going great. Outside stressors (work, finances, familial issues, etc.) have been taking their toll on me and driven me down a dark and bad pathway. Vinny, the character, is an outgoing, exuberant, bombastic little fellow. Vinny, the person, is a grumpy, mean, and sometimes nasty little person who has a tendency to drink way too damn much. It's gone way past the point where it should, and it's caused me to do some awful things to special people and make horrible decisions. There's lots to say there, but ultimately it's feeding into the cycle of misery and making it all the more worse. So I wanna break it. I need to break it, there's no other choice but to break the cycle of misery and become the Vinny that I want to, and I honestly need to be. It's not easy, I think a lot of us can agree we live in a pretty crapsack state of things right now in the US and the world, there's a lot to get sad, upset, angry, and all that about. But my life, personally, isn't that bad off. Good job, good family, an amazing mate, and a roof over my head. There's no reason to feed addictions the way I do, it's just that it's been going on for so long that's it's become and old habit. And those tend to die hard. But they've got to die. Going forward like this isn't much of an option anymore, because I'm just not the Vinny I want to be anymore. I want Vinny the fox and Vinny the person to be one-and-the same, or as close to that as possible. To be the best Vinny I can be so to speak. The Vinny I am now, and have been, needs to go away, so the Vinny I need to be can take his place. The only way to make that happen is to take strides in that direction, things are only going to change whenever I decide they will.

So, you know, one of the things I do turn to to make myself feel better is my pictures, my art. It really does help make me feel better even to just knock a simple 5 minute sketch out. It makes me happy to sit down and draw for hours and hours and hours like I do. I've been really pouring myself into my art over the last couple of months, because I want to see just how good I can become as an artist. Not for anybody else, but for my own personal gain. Just because I want to.It's something I can be passionate about and dump lots of my free time into! However, my bad habits infest my art, as I usually indulge myself while drawing. And sometimes yeah, it helps, but ultimately I've noticed that its become more and more distracting, especially if I've gotten up to drinking. If that happens, my focus and skill shoot through the floor, and I don't really get much done. Just another log to stack onto the "Why Vinny needs to stop" pile. Since that's been going on recently, I haven't had much to share. I've been working on lots, but none of it is really finished or in a state I can really show off you know? Just a bunch of half-finished sketches and projects. But there's a few images I'm polishing up right now that I plan to post in a little bit. About 5 or so images I believe. They all put a smile to my face, and I hope they do to yours as well. I kind of don't want to post them, as I wanted them to be fully completed by the time I posted them, but I enjoy posting when I can, and it's always nice to hear the feedback from people, it really helps pick up my day and keep me motivated! Which is what this journal is about! Motivation and how to keep it chugging along, so that I can start walking down a happier path than the one I'm on. It also goes without saying but "Thank you! From the bottom of my little heart!" for all those watches, and faves, and especially comments on everything! I get a ton of those, so it's hard to get back to everybody! But all the attention is deeply appreciated, and honestly I can't thank you all enough <3

Sorry for the blog, but that's what the journals are for! I don't have many I can talk to about this. It's hard for me to open up, I really don't do it that often. Which is another part of my personality I need to change as well. I was a quiet kid, and now I'm a quiet adult. If I were to open up more emotionally more often, I wouldn't need to turn to such destructive habits to fill a void that honestly has no business being there in the first place.

Anybody who has read this far, thank you so much! It means a ton to me! And lookout in a little for some new pictures I'm going to drop soon. I believe they're some cute little ideas I've come up with, so I hope everyone enjoys! Thank you everybody!