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Life Update *VENT*
2 years ago
---INCOMING OFFICIAL BROADCAST---
Hey there, everyone! It's been a while! I bet you've been wondering what I've been up to lately.
As I type this journal, I am currently sitting in LAX airport, waiting on a flight to Tokyo. I have gotten a job teaching English to students in Japan, and will now be living there, possibly for the rest of my life.
My life in America has been quite... depressing, to say the least. I was born to parents who, quite frankly, had no business raising a child. They were young and rather self-centered. They worked hard to provide for me, but they rarely ever played with me or interacted with me beyond the standard parenting stuff. They were both verbally and sometimes physically abusive and were pretty heavy drinkers, and my dad even got hooked on opioids. He even lost his job recently due to his drinking, and they are now in danger of losing their house. When I began working, they would both have me give them a good portion of my pay. They claimed that "times were tough" and that I had to pitch in, yet they still managed to bring home a $40 jug of vodka every other day, along with weed and pills. They also made me open a couple of credit cards in order to pay the bills, and I am now about $3,000 in debt because of them. Naturally, I tried to refuse to go along with this, but was threatened with being kicked out and sometimes with physical violence.
My school and social lives were never that great either. Being neurodivergent, I found it hard to get along with others, and I never had that many friends. I was an outcast and was subject to bullying from others, which heavily affected my mental health and my studies. The fact that I lived in suburban Alabama and was too poor to own a car (except for a short time, and I had to sell it to pay for college) definitely didn't help matters.
When I discovered my bisexuality and joined the furry fandom, I thought I had finally found a place where I could belong, build relationships and be happy. But it seems that it was too good to be true. I discovered that it's really not that much different from high school, and that the people only really care about consumerism, sexual promiscuity and social status. Hell, for a while I tried playing that game too, and all it got me was a bunch of wasted money, broken relationships... and a small porn stash.
But now I have an opportunity to start a new life! With the help of my grandmother (who was only slightly better tbh, she's a crazy uber-Christian who thinks everything is sinful) I have escaped from my parents, who have since disowned me now that I'm not paying their bills. (Though I'm sure that will change. But if it doesn't, that's honestly fine by me.) I'm finally free! And I'll be living in a country that actually has public infrastructure and social safety nets!
For those of you who stuck by me all this time, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You guys rock, and I hope to keep speaking to you and maybe even meet you someday! <3
And for those of you who have blocked me, ostracized me, talked shit about me, said I'd never amount to anything, or were just downright mean to me... cope, seeth, ratio, L, no bitches, etc. Quite frankly, I eagerly await seeing you guys get brutally tortured/raped/murdered in concentration camps once the Republicans take over America. <3
Like the Pharoah in the Old Testament, my heart has been hardened, and I have nothing left but burning hatred for this fandom and humanity at large. (I'm working on it though, I promise.) If we go extinct, it honestly won't be that big of a loss.
Maybe I'll come back someday, maybe not. If I do, it'll be purely to spite those that want me gone.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need a fucking drink.
As I type this journal, I am currently sitting in LAX airport, waiting on a flight to Tokyo. I have gotten a job teaching English to students in Japan, and will now be living there, possibly for the rest of my life.
My life in America has been quite... depressing, to say the least. I was born to parents who, quite frankly, had no business raising a child. They were young and rather self-centered. They worked hard to provide for me, but they rarely ever played with me or interacted with me beyond the standard parenting stuff. They were both verbally and sometimes physically abusive and were pretty heavy drinkers, and my dad even got hooked on opioids. He even lost his job recently due to his drinking, and they are now in danger of losing their house. When I began working, they would both have me give them a good portion of my pay. They claimed that "times were tough" and that I had to pitch in, yet they still managed to bring home a $40 jug of vodka every other day, along with weed and pills. They also made me open a couple of credit cards in order to pay the bills, and I am now about $3,000 in debt because of them. Naturally, I tried to refuse to go along with this, but was threatened with being kicked out and sometimes with physical violence.
My school and social lives were never that great either. Being neurodivergent, I found it hard to get along with others, and I never had that many friends. I was an outcast and was subject to bullying from others, which heavily affected my mental health and my studies. The fact that I lived in suburban Alabama and was too poor to own a car (except for a short time, and I had to sell it to pay for college) definitely didn't help matters.
When I discovered my bisexuality and joined the furry fandom, I thought I had finally found a place where I could belong, build relationships and be happy. But it seems that it was too good to be true. I discovered that it's really not that much different from high school, and that the people only really care about consumerism, sexual promiscuity and social status. Hell, for a while I tried playing that game too, and all it got me was a bunch of wasted money, broken relationships... and a small porn stash.
But now I have an opportunity to start a new life! With the help of my grandmother (who was only slightly better tbh, she's a crazy uber-Christian who thinks everything is sinful) I have escaped from my parents, who have since disowned me now that I'm not paying their bills. (Though I'm sure that will change. But if it doesn't, that's honestly fine by me.) I'm finally free! And I'll be living in a country that actually has public infrastructure and social safety nets!
For those of you who stuck by me all this time, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You guys rock, and I hope to keep speaking to you and maybe even meet you someday! <3
And for those of you who have blocked me, ostracized me, talked shit about me, said I'd never amount to anything, or were just downright mean to me... cope, seeth, ratio, L, no bitches, etc. Quite frankly, I eagerly await seeing you guys get brutally tortured/raped/murdered in concentration camps once the Republicans take over America. <3
Like the Pharoah in the Old Testament, my heart has been hardened, and I have nothing left but burning hatred for this fandom and humanity at large. (I'm working on it though, I promise.) If we go extinct, it honestly won't be that big of a loss.
Maybe I'll come back someday, maybe not. If I do, it'll be purely to spite those that want me gone.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need a fucking drink.
Really hoping you're doing good on your side.