Hi folks, I have now been on hormones for 5 months and changes have come in many forms. My skin is noticeably softer (everywhere, yes there), I seem to be more sensitive to cold, I've experienced a decrease in my already low sex drive. And most excitingly of all is a few months of minor breast growth! 2 days ago I found out I'm a 38B apparently but I think that's probably an overestimation of cup size. Regardless the only bras that fit right now are sports bras so I have 5 from different stores and love them all ♥ I have a feeling I will definitely need implants though, even with an orchiectomy I'm hoping to pursue next year I don't think I'll see much more growth.

Hormone dosage has increased since I started in staggered stages after an endocrinologist visit a few months ago, next appointment will be in two months. I'm now on 4mg Estradiol daily and 200 mg Spironolactone. I haven't had any negative effects from them so far or at least nothing I've noticed. Actually quite the opposite, I feel somewhat clearer and focused. I'm still my usual clumsy self and that may never change. But I've also noticed a strange change in a nervous habit, all my life I've picked my nails unconsciously, even in the crib as a baby. Suddenly a few weeks ago the behaviour stopped and for the first time in my life my nails are growing past my fingertips. They're very soft and get damaged easily in my job so I will look into a good product for nail health. Maybe even a manicure in the future!

I committed to laser hair removal on my facial hair, it's a process and the shaving prep has been the worst part, I have my third session coming up this week and I'm definitely noticing after just two sessions it seems to be growing more slowly. I didn't feel particulaly dysphoric before transition but I always hated my beard shadow and now it seems pretty clear that was one of my biggest dypshoric elements even though I didn't realise it.

I also spent an ungodly amount of money on makeup and it's barely a start. An older work friend (self-described cougar) who has a trans kid offered to take me shopping and help out with picking and trying stuff. It was a great day and I got a lot of things that will continue to be helpful and bring me joy. Mostly I picked up a few things for skincare as I'm realising my face is the biggest area I want to work on. The makeup I picked up was just for a professional process to hide beard shadow which hopefully, eventually, I won't need to do anymore anyways. Picking up regular makeup techniques is going to be a different matter and I need to make a plan with someone who can sit down with me and teach me. I am starting to get a picture of what I like and want, snapchat filters have been illuminating and given me some solid ideas of what I do and don't want. IE no lipstick no lip gloss, yes eye shadow and yes eye liner, and the rest is going to need some expertise to explain.

I raided a wardrobe in the house for dresses my mom recommended I look through and found two that fit so perfectly and suit me well. Of course they once belonged to my sister but she's a hundred pounds past fitting into them again. Then on the mentioned shopping trip I found a few I loved, though until I have my orchiectomy I have to be careful about materials and cling because I definitely don't want a bulge in my dresses. I had to put a few away that I absolutely loved for that reason. My mom has a friend who makes stripperwear and custom sexy clothing and she has made things for drag queens so she's suggested she can make me something to help with bulge management so who knows, maybe I'll have some luck there too! In general I will try to stick to thrift shopping for girly stuff but it's important to invest in nice things that will make me feel like me. I'm going dress shopping on Sunday with another friend who will have different recommendations, I'm very excited and it will be the last frivolous spending for a long while.

And a final note, yesterday I discovered I can make my little boobs jiggle by flexing my pecs X3 so yay me ♥