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Don't Try To Be Popular (Rant/Discussion)
2 years ago
Long Discussion incoming (includes mention of NSFW themes, you have been warned)
I've gotten very very frustrated with people constantly calling me a popufur. I had a friend point out the other day that I've probably spent like 10s of thousands of dollars on commissions and he's right. It's a hobby I enjoy, and the worlds and characters I create are what honestly make life worth living for me as some asocial loner who works in a lab all day. The idea of getting lost in a world that doesnt share all the depressing qualities of real life is an escapism that may not be ideal but is good enough for me. That doesn't mean I started commissioning just to become popular or looking for attention.
Getting all these pictures has made it so I've picked up a bit of a following for better or worse. I absolutely LOVE sharing my character concepts and ideas, though I've also made many mistakes along the way. I've pissed off some artists by being a pompous prick, pretending I know better about certain character design decisions/being really picky. I have over 50 characters now, wonderful characters made by artists who put their heart and soul into it, and I leave them to sit on a bench till I find some strange idea to apply them to. The way I treated certain artists haunts me to this day, and I can't get myself to ever apologize directly because I'm so embarrassed about it.
That's just my manner of saying just because I'm popular doesn't mean I'm a perfect human being, and neither are any other popular furries on this website. They just spent a lot of money and maybe had some good ideas or adopted a cool character along the way (or make some amazingly cool art!). At the end of the day, I and many others didn't start commissioning to be popular. Though in that mantle of irony, I was also constantly refreshed to see how many people were interested in my characters initially; there is a genuine justifying/comforting feeling for others to show interest in your ideas. Equal to that is the dread of realizing when your work or interests are not desired nor wanted, which I will admit was a bit paralyzing to me in the beginning (especially when sharing my early stories). That to some extent, is true for all humans: people want to contribute to their field, publish great works of fiction, and become popular figures in the eyes of millions of adoring fans in a vain attempt to be remembered in the annals of history long after their deaths.
In a way, the furry community only exists because of commissioners. It exists because this constant mechanism of purchasing power keeps artists engaged in continuing/improving their hobby. It's a unique and wonderful creative expression and culture which you will find nowhere else despite its many flaws in an era of depressing corporatism. I like to be just another piece of that puzzle, making my own contribution and supporting the artists who bring ideas to life, and I hope it continues long after I leave this community. It does, however, reveal a great inequality of which the furry community is dominated by large commissioners who carry a lot of influence. Don't let them manipulate you with the opportunity to get a commission with their characters or feel the need to constantly please them in an attempt to get a commission. From my experience, many of them are just normal people, and its very irksome when you show up with some parasocial connection and idolization to them. I fell into that same boat at first; we all started idolizing certain characters or commissioners/artists.
At the end of the day, commission things that make YOU happy. Don't feel a need to commission certain themes to appease the people who watch you (trust me, if you are looking at the numbers, you'll find trends pretty quick). Find a small community of people you really understand and know well, who share your interests and desires, true friends you can fall upon in the darkest times. Don't go out into the world expecting everyone to like you, and don't expect everyone to like you in return. From all the drama I've experience in this community people are constantly going after each other's worse traits or vices, though in reality perspectives and first impressions can widely vary on inter-human relationships. Morality is grey, and people do stupid things they regret all the time without being literal satan (that's not to say bad actors don't exist (especially in this community, there are a constant stream of people that will try to take advantage of you), but I feel people are just waaaay too quick to judge). I've seen too many people influenced by "social media depression" where they get all sad and droopy because they aren't getting traction, and I'll tell you right now it's a hopeless venture to try to get satisfaction from the number of views or favourites you get.
Are you currently sad that no one is acknowledging your art or interested in your characters? Trust me, I have plenty of characters that people don't drool over and I know how that feels. It doesn't matter, the only thing that matters is how YOU interpret them and build them up: Invest in that character, create a story for them, and people will acknowledge that amazing commitment you've made. Most of us are all just huge nerds with escapism in our minds, with our own reasons for joining this community. Don't change your character in need to conform to people with contrasting interests. I've had plenty of friends who simply had characters they grew complacent with, and just giving them a smidgen of a bit of story to attach to/start from revitalized their love for their characters seemingly overnight.
This is a note, especially for younger fans in the Furry community, you'll find yourself much more excited by nsfw themes in your early 20s, but that novelty gradually fades over time. In fact, the obsession over NSFW themes has irked me for some time, people using fetishes or kinks just to obtain sex slaves or extremely questionable morality. Corruption is a really cool thing as a fantasy concept, but I mean there is just such an obsession with non-consent that sometimes scares me with certain themes like mind control/hypnosis. If you talk about how much you want to consume people's souls and enslave them, you won't make many (good) friends, bucko. Commissioning and getting stuff like that doesn't attract the best people; the attention it entails can be extremely uncomfortable with creepy comments and notes. Of course, it's all fiction at the end of the day; I'm not saying those people will go out and hurt someone IRL. Though it feels lacking, people limit themselves to such small obsessions and never really explore or consider anything outside those themes. Now in my mid-20s, I got to say the pristine sheen of getting this sort of edgy nsfw theme has faded into more of an opportunity: an opportunity to explore gender expression, a way to explore my own misgivings and vices as a human being through my characters, really exploring and creating characters which I care about.
To use a popular example, the game GROVE does work with a lot of fetish material with stuff like corruption like I mentioned above. But they also contrast it with the actual horror the characters are experiencing when corrupted/under the influence of these dark figures. Corruption at the end of the day is a terrifying aspect which should be rightfully feared, even if the corrupt individuals are incapable or realizing what they've done until they are freed of their chains. Not acknowledging that and simply just blindly embracing it as a concept removes one of the most important aspects of corruption which is rooted in characters not acting like themselves. The euphoric power or influence you obtain losing a piece of yourself either physically or mentally is in direct contrast to any power you obtain. The second you lose that aspect, whats left in that picture or concept but just porn as an excuse to create sex-slaves or something. Its a fine line to cross, one which I imagine very few people actively contemplate.
Now I am also asexual, so that contributes to my desires, but in a way, being asexual in this community seems like an oxymoron. If someone wants to commission nsfw themes until their deaths, I couldn't care less, but try to find something out of it outside just porn; else, you'll find it starts getting old really quick as there are only so many pin-ups and poses you can take. Being ace has always been something I've had to justify to my friends, "Oh you commissioned nsfw stuff though, you can't actually be ace etc", which frustrates me to no end. Be nice to people who don't want to commission something nsfw or make their characters overly sexual. Make your characters something more than just a cocksleeve and you'll thank yourself for it.
Ok Rant over, sorry :< Feel free to reply to some points you agree/dont agree with :>
I've gotten very very frustrated with people constantly calling me a popufur. I had a friend point out the other day that I've probably spent like 10s of thousands of dollars on commissions and he's right. It's a hobby I enjoy, and the worlds and characters I create are what honestly make life worth living for me as some asocial loner who works in a lab all day. The idea of getting lost in a world that doesnt share all the depressing qualities of real life is an escapism that may not be ideal but is good enough for me. That doesn't mean I started commissioning just to become popular or looking for attention.
Getting all these pictures has made it so I've picked up a bit of a following for better or worse. I absolutely LOVE sharing my character concepts and ideas, though I've also made many mistakes along the way. I've pissed off some artists by being a pompous prick, pretending I know better about certain character design decisions/being really picky. I have over 50 characters now, wonderful characters made by artists who put their heart and soul into it, and I leave them to sit on a bench till I find some strange idea to apply them to. The way I treated certain artists haunts me to this day, and I can't get myself to ever apologize directly because I'm so embarrassed about it.
That's just my manner of saying just because I'm popular doesn't mean I'm a perfect human being, and neither are any other popular furries on this website. They just spent a lot of money and maybe had some good ideas or adopted a cool character along the way (or make some amazingly cool art!). At the end of the day, I and many others didn't start commissioning to be popular. Though in that mantle of irony, I was also constantly refreshed to see how many people were interested in my characters initially; there is a genuine justifying/comforting feeling for others to show interest in your ideas. Equal to that is the dread of realizing when your work or interests are not desired nor wanted, which I will admit was a bit paralyzing to me in the beginning (especially when sharing my early stories). That to some extent, is true for all humans: people want to contribute to their field, publish great works of fiction, and become popular figures in the eyes of millions of adoring fans in a vain attempt to be remembered in the annals of history long after their deaths.
In a way, the furry community only exists because of commissioners. It exists because this constant mechanism of purchasing power keeps artists engaged in continuing/improving their hobby. It's a unique and wonderful creative expression and culture which you will find nowhere else despite its many flaws in an era of depressing corporatism. I like to be just another piece of that puzzle, making my own contribution and supporting the artists who bring ideas to life, and I hope it continues long after I leave this community. It does, however, reveal a great inequality of which the furry community is dominated by large commissioners who carry a lot of influence. Don't let them manipulate you with the opportunity to get a commission with their characters or feel the need to constantly please them in an attempt to get a commission. From my experience, many of them are just normal people, and its very irksome when you show up with some parasocial connection and idolization to them. I fell into that same boat at first; we all started idolizing certain characters or commissioners/artists.
At the end of the day, commission things that make YOU happy. Don't feel a need to commission certain themes to appease the people who watch you (trust me, if you are looking at the numbers, you'll find trends pretty quick). Find a small community of people you really understand and know well, who share your interests and desires, true friends you can fall upon in the darkest times. Don't go out into the world expecting everyone to like you, and don't expect everyone to like you in return. From all the drama I've experience in this community people are constantly going after each other's worse traits or vices, though in reality perspectives and first impressions can widely vary on inter-human relationships. Morality is grey, and people do stupid things they regret all the time without being literal satan (that's not to say bad actors don't exist (especially in this community, there are a constant stream of people that will try to take advantage of you), but I feel people are just waaaay too quick to judge). I've seen too many people influenced by "social media depression" where they get all sad and droopy because they aren't getting traction, and I'll tell you right now it's a hopeless venture to try to get satisfaction from the number of views or favourites you get.
Are you currently sad that no one is acknowledging your art or interested in your characters? Trust me, I have plenty of characters that people don't drool over and I know how that feels. It doesn't matter, the only thing that matters is how YOU interpret them and build them up: Invest in that character, create a story for them, and people will acknowledge that amazing commitment you've made. Most of us are all just huge nerds with escapism in our minds, with our own reasons for joining this community. Don't change your character in need to conform to people with contrasting interests. I've had plenty of friends who simply had characters they grew complacent with, and just giving them a smidgen of a bit of story to attach to/start from revitalized their love for their characters seemingly overnight.
This is a note, especially for younger fans in the Furry community, you'll find yourself much more excited by nsfw themes in your early 20s, but that novelty gradually fades over time. In fact, the obsession over NSFW themes has irked me for some time, people using fetishes or kinks just to obtain sex slaves or extremely questionable morality. Corruption is a really cool thing as a fantasy concept, but I mean there is just such an obsession with non-consent that sometimes scares me with certain themes like mind control/hypnosis. If you talk about how much you want to consume people's souls and enslave them, you won't make many (good) friends, bucko. Commissioning and getting stuff like that doesn't attract the best people; the attention it entails can be extremely uncomfortable with creepy comments and notes. Of course, it's all fiction at the end of the day; I'm not saying those people will go out and hurt someone IRL. Though it feels lacking, people limit themselves to such small obsessions and never really explore or consider anything outside those themes. Now in my mid-20s, I got to say the pristine sheen of getting this sort of edgy nsfw theme has faded into more of an opportunity: an opportunity to explore gender expression, a way to explore my own misgivings and vices as a human being through my characters, really exploring and creating characters which I care about.
To use a popular example, the game GROVE does work with a lot of fetish material with stuff like corruption like I mentioned above. But they also contrast it with the actual horror the characters are experiencing when corrupted/under the influence of these dark figures. Corruption at the end of the day is a terrifying aspect which should be rightfully feared, even if the corrupt individuals are incapable or realizing what they've done until they are freed of their chains. Not acknowledging that and simply just blindly embracing it as a concept removes one of the most important aspects of corruption which is rooted in characters not acting like themselves. The euphoric power or influence you obtain losing a piece of yourself either physically or mentally is in direct contrast to any power you obtain. The second you lose that aspect, whats left in that picture or concept but just porn as an excuse to create sex-slaves or something. Its a fine line to cross, one which I imagine very few people actively contemplate.
Now I am also asexual, so that contributes to my desires, but in a way, being asexual in this community seems like an oxymoron. If someone wants to commission nsfw themes until their deaths, I couldn't care less, but try to find something out of it outside just porn; else, you'll find it starts getting old really quick as there are only so many pin-ups and poses you can take. Being ace has always been something I've had to justify to my friends, "Oh you commissioned nsfw stuff though, you can't actually be ace etc", which frustrates me to no end. Be nice to people who don't want to commission something nsfw or make their characters overly sexual. Make your characters something more than just a cocksleeve and you'll thank yourself for it.
Ok Rant over, sorry :< Feel free to reply to some points you agree/dont agree with :>
About NSFW, I was surprised by the number of NSFW art, and didn’t know in which direction still better to publish arts(SFW or NSFW, I’ll keep both:D), but now I know that we can have such a gorgeous arts as NSFW and SFW theme, we just need to make and take what we really love.
Also I think your story will be really helpful for all who read this journal,
Have a good day!^^
I never wanted to be 'popular'. I just wanted to get stuff I liked, and expand my own little world.
It's that reason, among others, that I hate most social media, and don't post my NSFW much. If you find my page interesting, awesome. If not, still awesome.
You like what you like, that's it. Your not hurting anyone ,so it's all good.
Ive had a taste of it both IRL and Online....its not something I enjoy.
Now, I never tried to push for popularity, it kind of just happened by Unknowingly pressing the right buttons, and then suddenly getting so much attention. I cant support Hundreds of people wanting to interact with you. And in some cases, yes, wanting to use you.
Im not sure how some people handle it...but I guess they are just built for it.
Being Ace...stupid Question::
So, I share the weird Duality that I enjoy Porn, but I have no Desire to Hook Up with people.
Is that what makes an Ace? Because I do have a hard-time myself understanding it VS Asexual.
Which...is also a Contradiction / Oxymoron if I enjoy or commission porn, looking at hot dudes and chicks....but no real desire to actually Hookup.
Hot Porn, But No Soul::
This might be a weird Title XD, but yes I share the feeling VERY STRONGLY now that Im older, that porn is awesome, its awesome to see porn of characters....but....is that all they are? Just Cocksleeve Pornstar Eyecandy? As said, commission whatever you want, but, it leaves me wanting more sometimes especially on a character that I think looks cool, or is tied to someone I think is cool.
Its funny, I WANT more porn of my characters, but Im actually very Hesitant about it, because I view my characters as more then just Porn objects, and have taken alot of time to write and (attempt) to flesh out their character Stories. And I hate the idea of that going to waste because OOO, Big Dick. Even if 1 character is a Pornstar, and another is a Sex-Slave, Ive written them to be more, despite that occupation, which I find more interesting then just porn.
Makes me sad that a few people I know have awesome characters and ideas, but restrict them to just SexyPorn#8233. And if I try to ask about them as characters, cant tell me anything past...they are sexy.
Fetishes::
I have Fetishes like everybody else. But I am nervous and even feel slightly ashamed of some of them, because of some of the types of people who are normally into them. And I know that isnt me, Im not that type of person. But I know there are types of people it attracts, and people are VERY quick to Judge and dont care for nuance, and Ive seen in the past few years that there are people in this community that take part in and create Blacklist Rings with their friends and fans/followers. It can be for the smallest thing, even 1 picture in your Gallery/Favs. Which is annoying, and sad.
Some Fetishes Im not necessarily into, but think would Fit a Character of mine.....to give an example....The Hypno/Mind Control stuff. Not into it myself, but kind of want at least 1 picture for Malik, because suits his character as he has very Domineering personality.
And its not used for sex, but rather to achieve and further his Goals (Which depend on the timeline and themed Canon...all of my characters have at least 2, which is how I do different things with them.)
Alright, I might have dragged on and rambled alot of unnecessary word salad.
Hope you have a good day
For the Ace question, honestly its a really grey area. From what I understand an ace person just doesnt have a romantic "desire" for someone or the need to perform sexual acts. Its probobly an evolutionary adaptation where certain humans pick a mate for other reasons than physical attractiveness, though that doesnt mean our brains are wired differently. You can still think someone is hot/good looking without wanting to fuck them, though I've also found kinks/fetishes are much more exaggerated as I have much more attraction to those rather than actual sex or more sex-related "vanilla" kinks.
As for the porn stuff, honestly I dont think theres anything wrong with ever getting just a pin-up every so often. The problem is when thats the entire point of the character, and they have nothing else going for them. I also have an issue with people who make these very extensive backstories for their characters about being like unstoppable gods or something but they just spend their entire day fucking people in some bar. NSFW themes are super fun to play around with, I personally find corruption and carnal desires a great way to explore character interactions by exposing dark and deep desires that would normally be surpressed.
As for fetishes, lol I know what you mean. I have some less popular fetishes I never posted anything of until I just didnt really care anymore tbh. I lost like hundreds of followers but at the end of the day i think its the right decision. There are wierd af people who like certain fetishes everywhere no matter which one it is, you might as well be a good role model for people who do like those fetishes to be more responsible and give alternatives to the more questionable uses of it. The wierdos who sometimes follow usually never last very long as they get disinterested pretty quick, the ones that stay usually are in it for more than just said fetish x). Additionally, something like mind control isnt necessarily a fetish either. Its important to remember that they are also just straight up commonly used character development and writing topics used to explore new themes (most common in comics but still)!
I can look at other peoples Galleries and see a Theme, while mine is very all over the place.
Can hardly have my own characters interact because of it, but thats likely more of me just being mentally Limited.
It makes sense, but doesnt at the same time. But its likely more simple then I think it is...which,,,alot of things in life are lol.
Exactly, its pretty boring. Sex-Focused Gods are...hot...but Dull. And thats what I want to avoid with taking all of that time to develop and write my characters, just for them to be reduced to just Sluts and Whores.
Thanks to a Discord Group Im starting to explore more ideas around this theme, but its primarily for 1 character. I hope to 1 day have the funds and the balls...and coherent ability to describe it in a commission in the future.
Im less worried about losing Followers & Subscribers, as I am at losing Opportunities.
Like its hard enough already to commission with Prices raising, work hours lowering, necessities taking Priority, or just simply not being able to find good suitable artists that are even available in the 1st place.
But now an artist I like, or even one I never heard of till recently suddenly has me on a Blacklist?...like dude, FUCK. It is really hard to commission now adays.
LoL pretty much everything is a Fetish, like my Love & Attraction to Avian Characters, or even Villain Characters who actually get shit done and arnt apologetic about it. Even Mind control which is just a Power of sorts, is seen as a Fetish.
But also the Definition of a Fetish is a little Broad. It doesn't exactly mean 1 thing
I'm glad that you're exploring things that you like. It can be tough to find people to share interests with, but every so often a genuine friend will emerge from the noise and it's always worth the wait.
Its always fun to discuss common interests with emotionally mature people, its why I've kinda retreated to mostly posting on my discord server. Theres a much more significant sense of community and such
I should get more stuff to post, myself.
You are right about the Grove example. I've seen many young folks drawn to it and focusing on the sex and kinky aspects. For myself, I find myself interested more in the world and wondering just how the world works and how these creatures came to be. It's lovely that the Grove team has done so much to flesh out the world and show bits of history and culture with their characters, along with the general fear that the corruption element has to it too.
Apart from that... the popufur element is rather... finnicky to talk about. When folks get tons of art, and show it off, I feel like it kind of incentivizes younger folks into thinking that they should head into that path. Especially when said artist gets lots of attention from the community. I've been in circles before where some younger people tend to mismanage their money in a need to become 'relevant' to the community. It's a sad state of affairs, but I liken it to celebrity culture we have as well. In general, people want to be liked, want to be admired, and want to have tons of friends. So, when they see that the community responds positively to lots of art... there is incentive to go ahead and repeat and hope it gets the same results. I have lost a lot of friendships over money I broke my back for that I give to a friend with a problem... only to see them just spend it on a ton of commissions instead.
I would like for things to shift, but I doubt it honestly will. At the end of the day, you just have to get art that you enjoy and do things at your own pace. Younger folks just need to know this... it's not important at the moment to fill your gallery with art. It's not important enough to go into debt over. Please, don't do that. Instead, focus on building the foundation for your life. Once you're settled, once you find a profession you love and you have stability, other things can come in due time. Just take it one step at a time.
I have no idea if I'm a "Popufur" or not. I'm actually just about a few hundred watchers short of your current watchers list. Most of them are lurkers and/or bots. I can't really say I'd care to look into it or ask if I'm among the ranks of the "Elite". And I've probably spent a few thousand on commissions as well, though maybe not as much as you (not that it's a competition).
It'll take some time to read everything you wrote. But I wanted to comment on some things that popped into my mind. I can relate to the asexual part. Since I'm pretty fully asexual and generally aromatic. I always think that people will see me as an extreme "Coomer", but I'm not really like that. And personally, I don't do commissions for escapism. I'm not really much of an escapist, I have a very specific niche I like the satisfy. I get some decent views and favs from my posts, but I've never really done it for popularity.
Funny thing is, I feel like I have too many characters. In fact, I recently hit the subfolder limit! I like putting all of my characters in their own subfolders separated by humanoid and anthro. Turns out, FA has a subfolder limit! The sad thing about my commissions is that I've felt like I've hit my limit. I felt like I did everything I can think of. Plus I can't really be paying for commissions like I used to. I've been trying to be an artist myself, as a way to cut down on spending.
I can say that, even though I'm not super active on the social scene. I've been through quite a lot in my time at FA. Made close friends, made some enemies, got into drama, talked with anti-social losers, and made friends with some very cool people I really respect. It's a lot. And from a 30-year-old to one in their mid-20s, I'd say that there's a lot more up the road.
even with my obsession with sexual corruption themes i still fully understand the implications of how scary it would be to actually lose all sexual inhibitions and morality, how scary it would be to other people too. thats why fantasy situation and real situations HAVE to be kept different and seperate.
i dont have a problem with drawing the line between sexual fantasy and reality, but i've definetely met other people in the fandom who do and its honestly a bit disturbing when someone says "i wish i could do this irl" in relation to a non-con piece to me.
but mostly what you say about the Escapism aspect of the kind of kinks and porn we in the community indulge in, i couldnt agree more with that! my fantasies are power-fantasies of demonic indulgence and submission fantasies of being controlled and changed. but thats all they are, fantasies, a mental escape from reality to play out something that makes me feel things.
as to SFW verses NSFW i gotta say, just the difference in views/faves on my SFW pieces to my ponographic and extreme-kink pieces ive commissioned says a lot about what people on FA are here to view. but i dont let it bother me. i get art for ME first and foremost and if other people like it, that's great! if they dont, oh well. i work very hard for my money and therefore what i get is all about what i wanna commission at any given time, on MY whims!
and lastly, Popularity is something i never expected to have to deal with, with the kind of kinks i'm into. but holy crap was i wrong. the biggest problem i have with it is actually acknowledging all the people who wanna chat and interact with me, which is a HUGE problem because i'm an introvert to the point where i actually prefer being completely alone and unplugged from time to time ^^; it feels like people are MAKING me popular whether i wanted it or not, and while the positive aspects of it are cool like the recognition and faves and comments. the sheer number of people wanting to chat, collab, etc is just more than i can physically and mentally handle at times... i cant even financially afford to get all the art i wanna get of my own characters and scenarios and suddenly ive had so many people wanting to appear in collabs with my OC's and demon-sona, and i gotta tell everyone: "I'm sorry, i cant afford to get collabs with everyone ^^;" it actually hurts introverted ol me to have to say no and push away people for the sake of my own sanity... i'm already jumping from Discord chat to Discord chat on a daily basis talking with multiple people who are actually awesome to chat with, but fuck i cant keep track of it all and honestly dont know HOW i'm supposed to keep up with everyone ^^;
sorry, turned into kind of a rant of my own there but this journal really resonated with me on many levels
my free time is limited due to my super busy physically-exertive job throughout the week, i often come home drained and just wanna crash on the chair and watch anime, and i do not often want to spend every minute of my downtime chatting about kinks and artwork with people even as something to multitask while trying to watch something (and also, i'm a terrible multitasker as i'm much better at focusing attention than splitting it)
as awesome as everyone has been in these conversations and discussions of kinks and whatnot, the only way i could conceivably keep up with everyone who wants to chat with me would be if i could clone myself and hire 3+ of myself just to handle chatting lol!
and as for collabs, the biggest limiting factor there is absolutely my finances. so it is actually pretty easy to turn those offers down as i often cant afford to spend money on regular commissions for myself except in short spurts when i've saved up enough (in a specific "hobby-money" fund i have for myself) to commission several things at once! so when people ask for stuff on top of my already-packed "Things i wanna commission" list, it is easier to say no to such offers/requests cause even split-cost collabs are often something i dont have the budget for, and that's the honest explanation i give when i'm asked.
i have an instinctual need to not blow all my money frivolously on commissions and hobbies because i'm saving up for something much more important: a house, a place to call my own. and for that goal i need to be patient and smart with my spending, period. (especially in today's garbage economy...)
Also very much agree that some people are a bit too much into some of the aspects of corruption, I like it as a way to make and spice up stories/backgrounds/scenarios but some people really take it a bit too far, even outside the writting.
I too think I'm more on the ace side of things - still iffy because I do seem to have a SLIGHT attraction to women, but more in "stating" I think they can be sexy rather than being super-attracted. It's kinda hard to explain. But I've not actually been attracted to anyone enough to want a relationship either. Despite that I LOVE getting TFTG stuff. It's funny how that works.
I just like getting stuff that intrigues me, and as you said it's not worth getting stuff just because it could make you popular. Honestly "popularity" isn't really worth that much, and I'd rather be known as someone who is nice and can be talked to over just another person who gets commissions.
Thanks for making such an awesome journal. It really vibes with a lot of how I feel.
TBH with the ace side of things I dont think theres anything wrong with that, Ace is such a grey area that there are a lot of differences between one ace to another (and I think its a vibe that only ace people really understand completely to an extent?). I also just love TFTG stuff myself and I dont quite know why either. Just tf stuff in all its forms and themes is just a fantastic escapist fantasy to indulge in!
But yes I've seen a lot of the art you've posted over the years, definitely influenced some of the stuff I've gotten. (Probably due to the overlap of interests haha!) I'd love to be able to chat sometime, but either way keep being you! <3
I'm pretty deeply concerned about the non-consent aspects in the community too. While that can be fun to roleplay in some situations, I definitely see a lot of people in the community I kinda' wonder if they're looking to go beyond consensual roleplay. So that's a perfectly fine thing to say.
On the point about corruption and how there's a horror aspect, sex itself is said to bring about momentary ego death, and I feel corruption is a lot about ego death. The horror aspect I think is that it's non-consensual in most situations, and I completely agree, it's not just an excuse for t3h pr0n.
The only thing that needs to be said is people are exploring parts of themselves they don't understand. Philosophically, what's the line? I'm more bothered by intense graphic violence that exists without a point. It may just venting. It may also be a display of the sort of anti-social tendencies that require an intervention.
Anyhow. I've been watching you for a while; I think you're pretty cool. I'm going to lurk in your Discord. ;p
Is interesting because due to your comms and designs, I see you everywhere. Personally, I'm drawn to your maned gryphon for sure, love that design for a while and it indirectly inspired the work for Spyre.
I agree with doing stuff that makes one happy, with the whole co-creation thing, creating these worlds and stories. More power to ya.
Thank you so much for this
And just saying: you're incredibly valid in your asexuality even if u commission/ enjoy NSFW content (a good friend of mine is the same way - its so nice to see him be happy about the things he likes no matter what he does in RL)
And tbh I myself enjoy NSFW content simply for aesthetic just like i do SFW (does that make sense)
Yeah I know what you mean, people should take stuff less seriously and just vibe :)
It's always been something I've wanted to explore in a more realistic manner. Having users with villains who perform these deeds and never change, get fully caught or so forth has always been something that's on my mind, mostly since I thought I could make it so my characters could, say, get inspired by them or believe they're making the world a better place or so forth, failing to realize what they're doing is the wrong thing entirely, and I really want to show just how horrifying that can be.
Even Pixus, who was meant to be my mascot, started off as something similar. She observed that these stories and users always garner fans and never seem to get caught, so she thought if she did something similar, surely she'd get attention... right?
Plus, as someone who's similarly asexual, I don't really get the whole hyperfixation of it just being for porn. I really like to focus more on the actual story and morals itself over it just being for self gratification.
I'm also someone who worries a lot about how others see me (partially due to a former friend of mine who kink shamed me), and just being weary about users who are way too obsessed with those kind of themes. It reminds me what one said to me, actually:
"Some day, perhaps, you will fall down that hole and your interests will be fully unhinged like me."
I seriously hope not, because I do not want to be someone who wishes harm to others, even if it's just fiction (and hopefully just fiction).
I could honestly go on about the topic but I'd rather not write a massive wall of text at the moment as I don't want to make a bad first impression.
other than that, im thinking from times to times about my future, how ill improve in this community, how ill continue to live my life and let my inner self(my sona at least its how i see him) live correctly meow im not seeing myself commissionning always nsfw arts about latex and hypnosis... recently i have experienced some really bad things on my side related to hypnosis.. kinda dont want to talk about it and its making me think that maybe... its better if i keep myself out of it irl, yes ill continue to enjoy it in arts and stories and lil erp... nut irl... i dont really trust it anymore meow.
sorry if my english in this reply isnt that great, its not my main langage but i tried my best to write how im feeling about that journal rawr
and yes you are a very adorable derg :p
... and yeah. I wholeheartedly agree! FROM EXPERIENCE as well! I had to take a break for all of December, and then when I came back at first, I HARDLY got any faves. the self critical part of my mind went "Oh nooo... this means that no one likes my writing anymore :C" But one of the stories I posted later is now my most faved story. Even worse: faves stopped mattering to me for a few days and commissions mattered, and I thought like "oh no, my stories aren't worth anything :C" because no one would commission me.
Let me be clear: these thoughts are irrational, and I recognize they are. it just sucks that THIS is where my brain went. and to be clear about another thing: I write stories to make myself happy, and to make others in the community happy. I write what I enjoy, just for fun, without thinking about any deeper meaning, and it fills me with SO much joy to see other people who enjoy the same things I do. A part of it may be an ego boost, but a HUGE part of it is: I consumed TF content for years and years, and I'm happy to give back. I'm happy to be able to give other people the same joy/ a similar joy I feel when looking at TF .
Lastly... the ace thing hurts my heart. I'm asexual as well, and I hate having to explain everything about my orientation, like romantic preferences and stuff. (Specifically: I hate explaining it to judgy people.) I haven't gotten the whole "you're not ace because you like NSFW" because I'm not AS openly into NSFW stuff, and I only delve into very specific themes. But I do get the "what do you mean you want to date someone? you're ace" from people who don't know the difference between aro and ace.
Sorry for the long winded and late reply, I just wanted to say: good message.