I have generalized and social anxiety, which pretty much means most of what I say and do has the potential to make me anxious, especially when I'm in a bad mood already. Anyway it sucks because most interactions I have involve thinking about what I'm going to say an excessive amount and then worrying about saying that thing, in real life it's to the point that 90% of the time I just end up listening to conversations without ever joining or contributing anything of value, which is very annoying to me. In text form it means I think a lot about saying something correctly, sometimes leaving other people on read for a significant amount of time. If there's something I want to say but am really anxious about, it can get bad enough that I have to physically leave the room my computer is in after posting something just to get it out. I would really prefer it if I could just say and do things as they come into my head, I would get way more done and would probably be happier.

It feels terrible because ideally I would be sharing my interests if I dealt with them in a healthy way, and by that I mean sharing among people I know personally. Like drawing furry art has been something I've been very interested in for a long time, but for something like that it gets so ingrained in me that I cannot tell anyone I know (caused by anxiety). it destroys all motivation I have for doing anything at all, when my biggest interest is something I cannot get myself to share no matter how hard I try. I notice a lot of people consider "being a furry" to just be a minor hobby or interest that doesn't necessarily need to be shared with anyone. I've tried treating it like that, but acting like furry art is just a minor interest I can just keep private doesn't change the fact that it's still a big interest of mine and that it IS important to me, and I consider it something I would share with a friend, or people I trust (again, ideally). Like I'm not lying or exaggerating when I say hiding this has a significant negative impact to my mental health. I'm working toward telling more people about it, but doing so is a big problem of mine I haven't managed to work out.