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Stay awhile and listen(short story)
3 years ago
General
Disclaimer as I know a wall of text might scare some people off, this is me writing down some in game antics of trying to complete two Skyrim achievements. After about 1/3 of the way on my adventure, too many things lined up and seemed as though it would make for a great story to tell. So this entire story coming up is told as it happened in game. I feel like there is a fun twist towards the end as well as I feel like it was fun writing all of this down. I hope you can enjoy this wild ride. :D
When I enjoy a game, I try and complete all achievements. Being done with almost all of Skyrim's quests, I figured it was time to finished up the ones I missed. Get Married and Master Criminal where two I still needed to do. Master Criminal consists of getting 1000 bounty in all 9 holds(all the cities and major towns), and committing murder was an easy 1000 gold bounty. I decided I could get Married and then go on my criminal spree afterwards. I slapped on the Amulet of Mara and asked Lydia to be my wife. (in the game, you have to be wearing the amulet of Mara to be allowed dialogue options to marry someone) I fast traveled to Riften to the church to start the Marriage quest. What I didn't know was that when you start the "Get Married" quest, after talking to the head priest, you have to come back to Riften the very next day for your wedding ceremony. The wild thing that just happened to work out is that I ended up in Riften to start the Marriage quest at 6 am. I had an idea that might just work. Run. Yes Running was faster then fast travel as fast travel progresses the daylight schedule much faster then simply running in the wild. I had one full 24 hour in game day's worth of time, before my wedding, that I could completely finish the Criminal mastermind achievement before my wedding doing one full circle around Skyrim running on foot. I put on my Ring of the Wind and set off on my Marathan of Murder! I also happen to have about 18 bottles of Ultimate Stamina potions that fully restore stamina when sprinting and the ring makes you run faster. The race was on!
My time was set. I had one full days worth to spread Chaos Across the Country. I went north to Windhelm. It took two hours of ingame time full on sprinting to get there. "Hmmm this might be pretty easy, I'll aim for half the holds and see how much time I have." I think to myself. Entering Windhelm I find my first victim talking about him "being the cook of *SLICED* I cut him off...literally. Guards rushed my advance in a Parade of incoming Punishment. They yelled Hault and Stop! I fired off Ice storm slowing their rush to stop me. The cold slows down movement speed of the crowd of guards spilling out of the main building's keep. I picked off two of them on the edges of the Mob of Meaty Men and took my leave. There was a surprising number of them and I don't have the time to fight all of them. Besides, you have to be careful about killing too many. If you kill too many witnesses you can actually lose your bounty. Yes, there must always be survivors. I took my hasty leave, ran out the main gates, and made the jump off the cliff side bridge to the docks to the right of the city. Rushing North along the Windhelm docks, I smacked an Argonian upside the head. Why not, he was always angry seeing me there since I wasn't an argonian. He flopped forward unconscious on the workbench he was hammering away on.
I clear the city limits and start out on the icy Tundra towards Winterhold. Out in the cold wilds I hear "Should have never come here." Who was this? I turn around and see a "Bounty Hunter" this was the first time ever seeing this. Interesting to know Bethesda put this into the game. So I engage wondering how strong he would be considering he was wearing some rather high quality gear. I spanked him 3 times before he was begging Daddy to stop. I continued North again. A wild smile cross my face, "Mmm this is kinda fun!" I think to myself being a villain for change. I didn't even check the ingame clock. Winterhold is a small place and I had to be careful. So I bap a civilian and see two guards rushing me. I bap one of the guards and leave that tiny city. Got to move, got to move. I've got a wedding to attend! I'm in a rush to finish my Savage Slaughter of Skyrim and peace out with the sound of Towns folk panicking.
Next stop is Dawnstar. Jogging through a very rough craggy ice shelved land, just by luck and not even thinking about this, I stumbled across the statue of Talos out in the middle of nowhere. I get a gods blessing and whisper, "Talos guide me." This was a random stroke of good luck as the blessing from this shrine reduces the shout cooldown timer and I'm using the shout "Whirlwind Sprint" which gives you a sudden burst of speed in the direction you're facing. I had the divines on my side while I unfurled my Cruel Countryside Calamity upon the land. Reaching Dawnstar, I target the civilians as I found it hilarious how weak they are and how easily they ragdoll all over the place with magic spells. I went abit overboard and killed to many losing my bounty, found the Black Smith and his wife near some guards. Blasted them and ran out of town. Oddly enough, outside of town M'aiq the Liar is in full sprint off to my right. I ignore him as my hostility in Dawnstar was enough already, and notice a horse attacking a downed bandit while also being surrounded by other dead bandits. A horse! I could use this beast for abit while I caught my breath. I jumped on its back and we rode west to Morthal. About this time was somewhere near mid day. I didn't feel like I needed to check the time. Everything was zipping past at high speeds as I Blasted each city and Booked it out. Shit needs to get done! I've got a marriage to attend! I rode the horse hard until it tired out. I regained my own strength, jumped off, and dispatched the beast that outlived its usefulness. "Mwehehehe yes evil, Eheheh." I cackled gleefully.
Getting close to Morthal I realized I could use Chain lighting for some fun Carnage. It can hit multiple targets which likes to cause targets to ragdoll once defeated sending them flyring off in wild directions. Morthal I hit hard and fast. Booped some fragile NPCs and cleared out to the big city of Solitude up north. I took the river side entrance and went straight to the market in the middle of town. Chain lighting was a blast! People screamed as lighting bounced between each of them! Guards poured out of the stronghold in Waves to confront my Wrongdoings. I drank a Potion of Destruction and blasted the Group of Guards Going to stop me. BZZZ and the grunts of pain was all that could be heard as bodies ragdolled left and right. I turned around almost as fast as I entered back down the river side entrance. Heading west next to Markarth I had to check my "Crime" stats to make sure I had enough per hold, and actually laughed out loud seeing a 9000 bounty in Solitude the last city I was in. Even injuring NPCs would give you a bounty and Chain Lighting did wonders at racking up numbers.
Nearing a small mining town of Karthwasten, I decide this place was going to take my Brunt of Bullying because the landscape of the area was nothing but basically mountains. I snipe some miners and got the F out. Thankfully this place counts towards the bounty of Markarth because F this place and its rocky terrain that would greatly hinder my speed. Would take too much time actually having to Navigate this Not flat piece of Nature. The sun is setting and it looks like I had more time then I imagined as my crime spree was down to only two more locations. I swing by Rorikstead Southeast of Karthwasten and quickly zap a few farmers and get a Whiterun bounty. Saves me the time of having to run there to Terrorize my favorite Town.
Still moving south towards the second to last destination, I look out across the hilly landscape in its orange evening glow. The late evening sun kisses the horizon. Nightfall comes fast as I hit a small place called Half Moon mill. I stroll on up and blast the windowed, vampire wife who runs the mill. I figured it was the least I could do for her considering earlier in the game I had to kill her husband for a Darkbotherhood quest. Hired thugs fall apon me at this mill doing me a favor seeing my mercy killing giving me the bounty I required in the area. I visit Falkreath real fast to add abit more bounty to be sure. With that, I make my silent run in the wilds.
The crickets chirp and the wind breezes around me as I run from my problems. All was quiet. I decide to run through Riverwood for the fun of it and...a courier has a note for me????? Some letter from Lod saying he knows I killed someone and wants to meet with me. I chuck that to the side. I've got a wedding to attend to! And with that, everything was set. There was only one last hold that I need to get a bounty in to finish my quest....Riften. Yes, Riften, the place of my wedding....I saved the best for lassssssssst.
Its the middle of the night and I think maybe I should invite a long time friend of mine to join me. Ciscero! Of course! What a blast it would be to bring along a Court Jester! Oh the fun we'll have! The laughter! Oh the sweet, sweet laughter that will be had. Oh my dearest Cisero. Join me won't you? Traveling back to pick up my Dearest Friend Cisero, Talsgar the Wanderer appeared upon my travels. He didn't want to see me a song this time as he did every other time. To sing me a bard's song of mythical adventures and gallant heros. Instead he wanted to sing a song with his blade through my vocal cords lashing out at me. I brandished Auriel's bow, missed the first shot to his left side causing a vibrant eruption of sun rays to explode from behind him. He yelled in terror and tried to run but alas it was too late. The next shot didn't miss as another brilliant aura of sun fire enveloped him sending his charred body sliding down a hillside. "Mr. Sandman. Bring me a dream. Make him the cutest I'd ever seen." I joyously sang out to the bard to send him out one final time. "Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum." I skipped down the secret passage way still singing such a joyful song meeting face to face with my Brother Ciscero. He could barely contain himself ready to join me at my wedding ceremony. And then it happened..."Attend your wedding." Appeared the top of my screen. The quest notification telling me it was time. The hour was at last here. OHHH THE EXCITMENT!!! It was time and I thought up yet another surprise guest I could invite. Mmm yes. Yessssssssssssss.
We both ran fast. The sun hadn't risen just yet, but we were going to be cutting it close. I saw M'aiq again near Dawnstar standing out in the cold snow covered forest. I didn't have time to invite him to join but could only wave and keep running. Nearing the swampy land near Riften, I was finally able to check my time. Almost 3 am! I was making great time. The entire journey played out almost PERFECTLY....like it was meant to be... I ran wide of the small mountain called "Bonestrewn Crest" and listened to the triumphant roaring of the dragon atop that mountain bellowing the excitement of my return. He saw me leave the previous morning and he awaited my run back for my ceremonious day.
Down to my last two stamina potions, I finally arrive at the gates to Riften. Its 4 am and with two hours to spare, I rest and collect myself until its 6 am and enter the city. The orange glow of the sun rising welcoming to my destination I ready my surprise guest that may even surprise my friend Cisero. The small city was quiet. I had grown accustomed to the wild out breaks and the lashing out of my presence. It was nice change of pace. A serene environment perfect for a peaceful wedding ceremony. I enter the chapel and wed my beautiful bride Lydia. After the ceremony, It was time to celebrate! Oh yesssss. It was time...yes indeed it was finally time.
"Let the festivities BEGIN!" I roared out with blood lust Summoning Odaviing the red Dragon! The towns people were in shock at the special guest I had planned to share with them! Of course it was a special occasion befit for such a wonderful guest! Oh how the party RAGED ON! Cicero joked and pranked the citizens. Odaviing playfully showed off his shiny teen. The city was adorned with people exhausted from the festivities! To tired to walk but only lie there on the fire scorched ground...I completed the two things I set out to do in record time. Get married and be the criminal mastermind.
I learned a valuable lesson. Marriage will make a person do wild things. I quickly loaded a previous save state and went on about my day as nothing evil, vile, genocidal, devilish, or alternate reality event ever happen. Nope just your local home town hero being a nice guy.... Heh...heh...heh hehhh. >:3
I hope you enjoyed this little eventful story. I had fun writing this all down as it transpired. ^_^
When I enjoy a game, I try and complete all achievements. Being done with almost all of Skyrim's quests, I figured it was time to finished up the ones I missed. Get Married and Master Criminal where two I still needed to do. Master Criminal consists of getting 1000 bounty in all 9 holds(all the cities and major towns), and committing murder was an easy 1000 gold bounty. I decided I could get Married and then go on my criminal spree afterwards. I slapped on the Amulet of Mara and asked Lydia to be my wife. (in the game, you have to be wearing the amulet of Mara to be allowed dialogue options to marry someone) I fast traveled to Riften to the church to start the Marriage quest. What I didn't know was that when you start the "Get Married" quest, after talking to the head priest, you have to come back to Riften the very next day for your wedding ceremony. The wild thing that just happened to work out is that I ended up in Riften to start the Marriage quest at 6 am. I had an idea that might just work. Run. Yes Running was faster then fast travel as fast travel progresses the daylight schedule much faster then simply running in the wild. I had one full 24 hour in game day's worth of time, before my wedding, that I could completely finish the Criminal mastermind achievement before my wedding doing one full circle around Skyrim running on foot. I put on my Ring of the Wind and set off on my Marathan of Murder! I also happen to have about 18 bottles of Ultimate Stamina potions that fully restore stamina when sprinting and the ring makes you run faster. The race was on!
My time was set. I had one full days worth to spread Chaos Across the Country. I went north to Windhelm. It took two hours of ingame time full on sprinting to get there. "Hmmm this might be pretty easy, I'll aim for half the holds and see how much time I have." I think to myself. Entering Windhelm I find my first victim talking about him "being the cook of *SLICED* I cut him off...literally. Guards rushed my advance in a Parade of incoming Punishment. They yelled Hault and Stop! I fired off Ice storm slowing their rush to stop me. The cold slows down movement speed of the crowd of guards spilling out of the main building's keep. I picked off two of them on the edges of the Mob of Meaty Men and took my leave. There was a surprising number of them and I don't have the time to fight all of them. Besides, you have to be careful about killing too many. If you kill too many witnesses you can actually lose your bounty. Yes, there must always be survivors. I took my hasty leave, ran out the main gates, and made the jump off the cliff side bridge to the docks to the right of the city. Rushing North along the Windhelm docks, I smacked an Argonian upside the head. Why not, he was always angry seeing me there since I wasn't an argonian. He flopped forward unconscious on the workbench he was hammering away on.
I clear the city limits and start out on the icy Tundra towards Winterhold. Out in the cold wilds I hear "Should have never come here." Who was this? I turn around and see a "Bounty Hunter" this was the first time ever seeing this. Interesting to know Bethesda put this into the game. So I engage wondering how strong he would be considering he was wearing some rather high quality gear. I spanked him 3 times before he was begging Daddy to stop. I continued North again. A wild smile cross my face, "Mmm this is kinda fun!" I think to myself being a villain for change. I didn't even check the ingame clock. Winterhold is a small place and I had to be careful. So I bap a civilian and see two guards rushing me. I bap one of the guards and leave that tiny city. Got to move, got to move. I've got a wedding to attend! I'm in a rush to finish my Savage Slaughter of Skyrim and peace out with the sound of Towns folk panicking.
Next stop is Dawnstar. Jogging through a very rough craggy ice shelved land, just by luck and not even thinking about this, I stumbled across the statue of Talos out in the middle of nowhere. I get a gods blessing and whisper, "Talos guide me." This was a random stroke of good luck as the blessing from this shrine reduces the shout cooldown timer and I'm using the shout "Whirlwind Sprint" which gives you a sudden burst of speed in the direction you're facing. I had the divines on my side while I unfurled my Cruel Countryside Calamity upon the land. Reaching Dawnstar, I target the civilians as I found it hilarious how weak they are and how easily they ragdoll all over the place with magic spells. I went abit overboard and killed to many losing my bounty, found the Black Smith and his wife near some guards. Blasted them and ran out of town. Oddly enough, outside of town M'aiq the Liar is in full sprint off to my right. I ignore him as my hostility in Dawnstar was enough already, and notice a horse attacking a downed bandit while also being surrounded by other dead bandits. A horse! I could use this beast for abit while I caught my breath. I jumped on its back and we rode west to Morthal. About this time was somewhere near mid day. I didn't feel like I needed to check the time. Everything was zipping past at high speeds as I Blasted each city and Booked it out. Shit needs to get done! I've got a marriage to attend! I rode the horse hard until it tired out. I regained my own strength, jumped off, and dispatched the beast that outlived its usefulness. "Mwehehehe yes evil, Eheheh." I cackled gleefully.
Getting close to Morthal I realized I could use Chain lighting for some fun Carnage. It can hit multiple targets which likes to cause targets to ragdoll once defeated sending them flyring off in wild directions. Morthal I hit hard and fast. Booped some fragile NPCs and cleared out to the big city of Solitude up north. I took the river side entrance and went straight to the market in the middle of town. Chain lighting was a blast! People screamed as lighting bounced between each of them! Guards poured out of the stronghold in Waves to confront my Wrongdoings. I drank a Potion of Destruction and blasted the Group of Guards Going to stop me. BZZZ and the grunts of pain was all that could be heard as bodies ragdolled left and right. I turned around almost as fast as I entered back down the river side entrance. Heading west next to Markarth I had to check my "Crime" stats to make sure I had enough per hold, and actually laughed out loud seeing a 9000 bounty in Solitude the last city I was in. Even injuring NPCs would give you a bounty and Chain Lighting did wonders at racking up numbers.
Nearing a small mining town of Karthwasten, I decide this place was going to take my Brunt of Bullying because the landscape of the area was nothing but basically mountains. I snipe some miners and got the F out. Thankfully this place counts towards the bounty of Markarth because F this place and its rocky terrain that would greatly hinder my speed. Would take too much time actually having to Navigate this Not flat piece of Nature. The sun is setting and it looks like I had more time then I imagined as my crime spree was down to only two more locations. I swing by Rorikstead Southeast of Karthwasten and quickly zap a few farmers and get a Whiterun bounty. Saves me the time of having to run there to Terrorize my favorite Town.
Still moving south towards the second to last destination, I look out across the hilly landscape in its orange evening glow. The late evening sun kisses the horizon. Nightfall comes fast as I hit a small place called Half Moon mill. I stroll on up and blast the windowed, vampire wife who runs the mill. I figured it was the least I could do for her considering earlier in the game I had to kill her husband for a Darkbotherhood quest. Hired thugs fall apon me at this mill doing me a favor seeing my mercy killing giving me the bounty I required in the area. I visit Falkreath real fast to add abit more bounty to be sure. With that, I make my silent run in the wilds.
The crickets chirp and the wind breezes around me as I run from my problems. All was quiet. I decide to run through Riverwood for the fun of it and...a courier has a note for me????? Some letter from Lod saying he knows I killed someone and wants to meet with me. I chuck that to the side. I've got a wedding to attend to! And with that, everything was set. There was only one last hold that I need to get a bounty in to finish my quest....Riften. Yes, Riften, the place of my wedding....I saved the best for lassssssssst.
Its the middle of the night and I think maybe I should invite a long time friend of mine to join me. Ciscero! Of course! What a blast it would be to bring along a Court Jester! Oh the fun we'll have! The laughter! Oh the sweet, sweet laughter that will be had. Oh my dearest Cisero. Join me won't you? Traveling back to pick up my Dearest Friend Cisero, Talsgar the Wanderer appeared upon my travels. He didn't want to see me a song this time as he did every other time. To sing me a bard's song of mythical adventures and gallant heros. Instead he wanted to sing a song with his blade through my vocal cords lashing out at me. I brandished Auriel's bow, missed the first shot to his left side causing a vibrant eruption of sun rays to explode from behind him. He yelled in terror and tried to run but alas it was too late. The next shot didn't miss as another brilliant aura of sun fire enveloped him sending his charred body sliding down a hillside. "Mr. Sandman. Bring me a dream. Make him the cutest I'd ever seen." I joyously sang out to the bard to send him out one final time. "Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum." I skipped down the secret passage way still singing such a joyful song meeting face to face with my Brother Ciscero. He could barely contain himself ready to join me at my wedding ceremony. And then it happened..."Attend your wedding." Appeared the top of my screen. The quest notification telling me it was time. The hour was at last here. OHHH THE EXCITMENT!!! It was time and I thought up yet another surprise guest I could invite. Mmm yes. Yessssssssssssss.
We both ran fast. The sun hadn't risen just yet, but we were going to be cutting it close. I saw M'aiq again near Dawnstar standing out in the cold snow covered forest. I didn't have time to invite him to join but could only wave and keep running. Nearing the swampy land near Riften, I was finally able to check my time. Almost 3 am! I was making great time. The entire journey played out almost PERFECTLY....like it was meant to be... I ran wide of the small mountain called "Bonestrewn Crest" and listened to the triumphant roaring of the dragon atop that mountain bellowing the excitement of my return. He saw me leave the previous morning and he awaited my run back for my ceremonious day.
Down to my last two stamina potions, I finally arrive at the gates to Riften. Its 4 am and with two hours to spare, I rest and collect myself until its 6 am and enter the city. The orange glow of the sun rising welcoming to my destination I ready my surprise guest that may even surprise my friend Cisero. The small city was quiet. I had grown accustomed to the wild out breaks and the lashing out of my presence. It was nice change of pace. A serene environment perfect for a peaceful wedding ceremony. I enter the chapel and wed my beautiful bride Lydia. After the ceremony, It was time to celebrate! Oh yesssss. It was time...yes indeed it was finally time.
"Let the festivities BEGIN!" I roared out with blood lust Summoning Odaviing the red Dragon! The towns people were in shock at the special guest I had planned to share with them! Of course it was a special occasion befit for such a wonderful guest! Oh how the party RAGED ON! Cicero joked and pranked the citizens. Odaviing playfully showed off his shiny teen. The city was adorned with people exhausted from the festivities! To tired to walk but only lie there on the fire scorched ground...I completed the two things I set out to do in record time. Get married and be the criminal mastermind.
I learned a valuable lesson. Marriage will make a person do wild things. I quickly loaded a previous save state and went on about my day as nothing evil, vile, genocidal, devilish, or alternate reality event ever happen. Nope just your local home town hero being a nice guy.... Heh...heh...heh hehhh. >:3
I hope you enjoyed this little eventful story. I had fun writing this all down as it transpired. ^_^
I planned on loading back when it was over anyways. I just needed whoever was closest.
I enjoyed it alot, gave me the laughs^^