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The Summer 2023 Stress Vent
2 years ago
-- Probably the most important journal about me --
-- OPEN FOR COMMISSIONS!! --
-- Groups I Like --
Cause I need to.
- Recent Friend Coush-Surf:
So yeah. I have a good furry friend of mine who moved in temporarily cause previously he was living with his boyfriend at that bf's parents house, and then those parents decided they wanted their house to themselves and family, so they kicked him out. He had noplace else really to go and family's not supportive, so my place he went. He works full time making plenty of money so I figured it'd be no problem to charge him just a bit of rent and he''ll save up a lot of his money to then afford a place of his own in no time, probably less than a year even.
Thing is, we're 2 months in now. And this has NOT HAPPENED. They are making way more money than ME but all of it is going somewhere I know not where, because they haven't built ANY savings and in fact, have not gotten me the RENT I've let slide that first month and didn't charge for the first half month he was here. He's sending a lot of money to his boyfriend but none to me and none to savings and I have no idea what his plans are, cause I don't think he has any. And if/when I'd confront him about this he's gonna start crying and have revelations about how shit he's being and then I'm gonna be focusing on bringing him back up to normal emotionally and that's gonna drain both of us and we'll get no finance talk done at all. So fuck me there.
Well I know what a lot of you are thinking, my friend is taking me for a financial ride and manipulating me. Maybe, though Ive known them for years and they're not doing it intentionally, they're just in their mid 20's and too dumb at handling life/finance yet. Hanlon's razor - "Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." I'm gonna confront him soo, I have a plan and I'm gonna demand he do it because otherwise I AM gonna start threatening to kick him out, at the very least to let him know this is fucking serious.
- Other friend's Stopgap Car:
So I've got another friend who Im helping out who DOES actively pay me back, and who I help out cause they are surviving on like razor-thin margins with no savings to fall back on when things happen like they get run into on the road and their car is totaled. So I'm helping him by helping him out getting a used car off craigslist. Thing is, he's across the state from me, and so us organizing things like getting to the DMV together to be joint owners and such is a frieking nightmare and today I lost an entire day and half a gas tank driving there cause when I made my plans to get there I hadn't factored in the extra HOUR DELAY that Beachgoing NJ Parkway traffic would have that wasn't there at midnight when I calculated the time on google maps, so I got there 30 minutes AFTER the DMV closed. So now I gotta go do this again MONDAY thus wasting ANOTHER days time and gasoline AND HIS which I feel guilty about, because I was too scatterbrained and mentally exhausted to remember BEACH TRAFFIC FNRGHRBRGHR!!!
- My Housemate(s) that DOES NOT DO ANY HOUSEKEEPING:
Yeah, pretty self explanatory there. When I first started renting out my spare bedroom to these two fur friends they were great about housekeeping, but that was years ago, and they dusted and wiped countertops and did their laundry and stuff :) It was good! NOW THEY DO NONE OF THAT. The sink is ALWAYS full of dishes, NONE of the house is dusted or wiped in any way, their laundry sits out in the living room and kitchen in baskets D8, Whenever they make food there is ALWAYS either the cookware or plates or SOMETHING they used to make the food left out on the counters, and sometimes they even FORGET THEY MADE OR ARE MAKING FOOD and I open the microwave to find a bowl of oats in there thats gone cold by now. I TRY to do stuff to make at least the kitchen and shit go easier like buying a second utensil basket for the washing machine so at least when they throw stuff in the sink now there is always a utensil basket to put the utensils in that then would just get dropped into the wash machine, BUT THEY DONT BOTHER. The sink's dishes and bowls STILL have loose utensils strewn about in them CONSTANTLY. Not to mention they only DO the dishwasher when THEY run out of bowls and stuff, not when the sink is CLEARLY full. Same goes for their treatment of anything about the house. "If I don't use it, it's not my problem." shit that I'm utterly sick of, especially cause they don't even stop there! the shower which they use daily and I only use like, weekly, develops scum and stains that they simply do not care to ever clean and I am the one who has to scrub it down. And that's just one example of a grievance. But enough of this shit cause this is all whiny bullshit that's less important than financial stuff.
OH YEAH, and also the LAWN. I don't have a big lawn, but I do not want to mow another lawn in my life cause my parents made me run a lawncutting service for a buncha neighbors with huge yards for super cheap along with doing OUR massive back/front yards all the way up til I moved out in my late 20's. So I have one housemate who is ok with doing it and I'm super thankful for that, but they also don't do a great job. I have to ask them to do it before they will, no matter how awful the lawn looks, and also they don't use the trimmer at all. The latter has lead to near bush sized things of grass along the edges of the house and shed and stuff, and in fact it led to a TREE this year growing in a very inconvenient place which we let get way out of hand, and I thought I dealt with by clipping all of it's branches last week, but nope! Ittttt's still growing and re-branching, YAYYYYY. So I gotta figure out how to do MORE yard work to kill this thing and deal with the edges of my lawn which are shit and also the grass growing up through the edges/creases of the concrete patio too D8.
- MY Money is getting tight right now:
Yyyyup. Car Insurance bill is in the thousands, and I'm slowly losing money in my bank account, which was hovering around 5k, and is now down to the 4-3k area before that bill, and I've very little idea what's going on cause my balance sheets all add up and I'm not getting stolen from anywhere but like, I guess the fact that the movie theater which is my main job has only been giving me 2 shifts a week the past month or two is starting to catch up, along with the fact that >
- I'm sorry people I owe commissions to, I have been moving like a GLACIER on them:
The reason being cause I'm like, mentally exhausted by all that above stuff, and my body and brain often go "OK, I have tomorrow OFF, i'm gonna down a big energy drink, focus up, and PLOW THOUGH THIS COMMISSION TIL ITS DONE." and then that morning my brain/body will go "Good morning! It's 2pm and you're still incredibly sleepy for some reason! No no, don't try to force yourself to wake up :D. Oh good morning again! Looks like you fell asleep in your chair at 3pm and now it's 10pm or midnight! Looks like you can't do that commission after all :)" And I'm like, AURGH. Either all my time is spent unwinding for my own mental health sake, sleeping for my body's health sake, or working, or stressing about all the above stuff, and so I can't get anything done, save for MAYBE some personal projects which I get excited by and wrapped up in for ADHD reasons, then feel GUILTY about when I finish them cause I SHOULD have spent that time and energy pushing one of my 7 commissions I have slotted to do to completion D8.
So thats my venting right there. I think I'm forgetting about SOMETHING, but right now that's whats been occupying my mind and I've been having no outlet for cause I can't confront the parties in question without them either getting pissed off irrationally or depressed and shut-down. I mean, there's little shit like how I hate that I do all this blender work and release models but nobody really ever uses them unless I either pay/trade/request folks to port them into SFM for me and it's always a paiiiin; or how I'm hosting furmeets here at my house and at arcades and stuff over the summer and like, NOBODY is going to them so I'm like, not socializing at all because thats where I do it. ( If you're in NJ btw https://www.fursvp.com/group/sharkyfieldtrips/ https://teamup.com/ks76562f69926979b9 )
But yeah, I just am soooo drained and tired of feeling like the only one trying to hold shit together all the fugging time. I needed to get that off my chest. If you wanna help me out by like, buying my models for whatever price ya wan, you can find em here :P https://irongut.gumroad.com It's the one successful way I've had for folks to support me cause my patreon never got anyone back when I launched it and I'm holding off on doing any sort of gofundme campaigns for until I TRULY NEED them, like if I total my car and insurance won't cover it, or some medical bill or something. :P
- Recent Friend Coush-Surf:
So yeah. I have a good furry friend of mine who moved in temporarily cause previously he was living with his boyfriend at that bf's parents house, and then those parents decided they wanted their house to themselves and family, so they kicked him out. He had noplace else really to go and family's not supportive, so my place he went. He works full time making plenty of money so I figured it'd be no problem to charge him just a bit of rent and he''ll save up a lot of his money to then afford a place of his own in no time, probably less than a year even.
Thing is, we're 2 months in now. And this has NOT HAPPENED. They are making way more money than ME but all of it is going somewhere I know not where, because they haven't built ANY savings and in fact, have not gotten me the RENT I've let slide that first month and didn't charge for the first half month he was here. He's sending a lot of money to his boyfriend but none to me and none to savings and I have no idea what his plans are, cause I don't think he has any. And if/when I'd confront him about this he's gonna start crying and have revelations about how shit he's being and then I'm gonna be focusing on bringing him back up to normal emotionally and that's gonna drain both of us and we'll get no finance talk done at all. So fuck me there.
Well I know what a lot of you are thinking, my friend is taking me for a financial ride and manipulating me. Maybe, though Ive known them for years and they're not doing it intentionally, they're just in their mid 20's and too dumb at handling life/finance yet. Hanlon's razor - "Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." I'm gonna confront him soo, I have a plan and I'm gonna demand he do it because otherwise I AM gonna start threatening to kick him out, at the very least to let him know this is fucking serious.
- Other friend's Stopgap Car:
So I've got another friend who Im helping out who DOES actively pay me back, and who I help out cause they are surviving on like razor-thin margins with no savings to fall back on when things happen like they get run into on the road and their car is totaled. So I'm helping him by helping him out getting a used car off craigslist. Thing is, he's across the state from me, and so us organizing things like getting to the DMV together to be joint owners and such is a frieking nightmare and today I lost an entire day and half a gas tank driving there cause when I made my plans to get there I hadn't factored in the extra HOUR DELAY that Beachgoing NJ Parkway traffic would have that wasn't there at midnight when I calculated the time on google maps, so I got there 30 minutes AFTER the DMV closed. So now I gotta go do this again MONDAY thus wasting ANOTHER days time and gasoline AND HIS which I feel guilty about, because I was too scatterbrained and mentally exhausted to remember BEACH TRAFFIC FNRGHRBRGHR!!!
- My Housemate(s) that DOES NOT DO ANY HOUSEKEEPING:
Yeah, pretty self explanatory there. When I first started renting out my spare bedroom to these two fur friends they were great about housekeeping, but that was years ago, and they dusted and wiped countertops and did their laundry and stuff :) It was good! NOW THEY DO NONE OF THAT. The sink is ALWAYS full of dishes, NONE of the house is dusted or wiped in any way, their laundry sits out in the living room and kitchen in baskets D8, Whenever they make food there is ALWAYS either the cookware or plates or SOMETHING they used to make the food left out on the counters, and sometimes they even FORGET THEY MADE OR ARE MAKING FOOD and I open the microwave to find a bowl of oats in there thats gone cold by now. I TRY to do stuff to make at least the kitchen and shit go easier like buying a second utensil basket for the washing machine so at least when they throw stuff in the sink now there is always a utensil basket to put the utensils in that then would just get dropped into the wash machine, BUT THEY DONT BOTHER. The sink's dishes and bowls STILL have loose utensils strewn about in them CONSTANTLY. Not to mention they only DO the dishwasher when THEY run out of bowls and stuff, not when the sink is CLEARLY full. Same goes for their treatment of anything about the house. "If I don't use it, it's not my problem." shit that I'm utterly sick of, especially cause they don't even stop there! the shower which they use daily and I only use like, weekly, develops scum and stains that they simply do not care to ever clean and I am the one who has to scrub it down. And that's just one example of a grievance. But enough of this shit cause this is all whiny bullshit that's less important than financial stuff.
OH YEAH, and also the LAWN. I don't have a big lawn, but I do not want to mow another lawn in my life cause my parents made me run a lawncutting service for a buncha neighbors with huge yards for super cheap along with doing OUR massive back/front yards all the way up til I moved out in my late 20's. So I have one housemate who is ok with doing it and I'm super thankful for that, but they also don't do a great job. I have to ask them to do it before they will, no matter how awful the lawn looks, and also they don't use the trimmer at all. The latter has lead to near bush sized things of grass along the edges of the house and shed and stuff, and in fact it led to a TREE this year growing in a very inconvenient place which we let get way out of hand, and I thought I dealt with by clipping all of it's branches last week, but nope! Ittttt's still growing and re-branching, YAYYYYY. So I gotta figure out how to do MORE yard work to kill this thing and deal with the edges of my lawn which are shit and also the grass growing up through the edges/creases of the concrete patio too D8.
- MY Money is getting tight right now:
Yyyyup. Car Insurance bill is in the thousands, and I'm slowly losing money in my bank account, which was hovering around 5k, and is now down to the 4-3k area before that bill, and I've very little idea what's going on cause my balance sheets all add up and I'm not getting stolen from anywhere but like, I guess the fact that the movie theater which is my main job has only been giving me 2 shifts a week the past month or two is starting to catch up, along with the fact that >
- I'm sorry people I owe commissions to, I have been moving like a GLACIER on them:
The reason being cause I'm like, mentally exhausted by all that above stuff, and my body and brain often go "OK, I have tomorrow OFF, i'm gonna down a big energy drink, focus up, and PLOW THOUGH THIS COMMISSION TIL ITS DONE." and then that morning my brain/body will go "Good morning! It's 2pm and you're still incredibly sleepy for some reason! No no, don't try to force yourself to wake up :D. Oh good morning again! Looks like you fell asleep in your chair at 3pm and now it's 10pm or midnight! Looks like you can't do that commission after all :)" And I'm like, AURGH. Either all my time is spent unwinding for my own mental health sake, sleeping for my body's health sake, or working, or stressing about all the above stuff, and so I can't get anything done, save for MAYBE some personal projects which I get excited by and wrapped up in for ADHD reasons, then feel GUILTY about when I finish them cause I SHOULD have spent that time and energy pushing one of my 7 commissions I have slotted to do to completion D8.
So thats my venting right there. I think I'm forgetting about SOMETHING, but right now that's whats been occupying my mind and I've been having no outlet for cause I can't confront the parties in question without them either getting pissed off irrationally or depressed and shut-down. I mean, there's little shit like how I hate that I do all this blender work and release models but nobody really ever uses them unless I either pay/trade/request folks to port them into SFM for me and it's always a paiiiin; or how I'm hosting furmeets here at my house and at arcades and stuff over the summer and like, NOBODY is going to them so I'm like, not socializing at all because thats where I do it. ( If you're in NJ btw https://www.fursvp.com/group/sharkyfieldtrips/ https://teamup.com/ks76562f69926979b9 )
But yeah, I just am soooo drained and tired of feeling like the only one trying to hold shit together all the fugging time. I needed to get that off my chest. If you wanna help me out by like, buying my models for whatever price ya wan, you can find em here :P https://irongut.gumroad.com It's the one successful way I've had for folks to support me cause my patreon never got anyone back when I launched it and I'm holding off on doing any sort of gofundme campaigns for until I TRULY NEED them, like if I total my car and insurance won't cover it, or some medical bill or something. :P
-Caleb