Hello friends!

As I mentioned in my previous journal, I saw a neurologist in regards to my seizures and meningioma that have been giving me trouble for a little while now. The appointment with the neurologist was on the 29th of June in the morning, and as a new patient there was a great deal of paperwork and medical history questions.

Initially, the neurologist was nice enough; but as the appointment continued I became far less hopeful about his attitude and my prognosis. He asked many many comprehensive questions, prefacing the visit by saying that he would interrupt me a lot in order to get clarification on anything said. And while I initially agreed and did not mind the interjections -- it got to a certain point that the answers to his questions were a breath away as he'd stop me before I could finish. It was frustrating to say the least, but we finally got through the initial questions about the seizures and tumor itself. Additional questions were asked about diet, physical health and activity (Yes I'm fat, thank you for noticing), social life, work, finances, etc.

Some of those topics I listed above seemed very unrelated to the primary issue of my being there, but at this stage in the visit I just wanted some kind of an answer or at least a direction to begin treatment.


I left in tears.


No, not because of the diagnosis or treatment plan. Instead, the neurologist told me everything I already knew via my own research and from test results through bloodwork and scans. He spoke to me as if I was a child that didn't understand this information, and was lovely enough to add some additional barbs while I was already wounded. Those close to me know what all was said, and I will not be sharing it on the public forum that is the internet. The only benefit of this visit was to get several very much needed referrals for other specifics to narrow down the diagnosis. For a neurologist, he certainly was knowledgeable about various issues, but not when it comes to my situation and financial position the gap was very very clear. Even being able to relate on the level of being PoC, he could not grasp the experience of not being financially stable. In closing to the whole disaster of a visit, I was given a referral to the EMU (Epilepsy Monitoring Unit) for testing, a Sleep Study (severe insomnia, potential night time seizures), and a GI specialist.

After the whole thing was done and I'd gotten home feeling defeated, I was contacted by both my therapist and primary care doctor to ask how it went. What resulted was a session filled with retelling everything to my therapist, as well as reading the printed out notes given to me upon checking-out. The next day my primary doctor called me and said she wanted a second opinion FOR me. So she's sent a new referral to a new neurologist as well as another specialist for the GI problems. Thus far I have been able to successfully schedule the sleep study, which the soonest at present is in January of 2024 as the pandemic set most of the sleep clinics back pretty far. I'm playing phone tag with the EMU still, but hopefully I can snag someone on the line soon so I can get the ball rolling on that too.

I apologize for keeping everyone waiting on a update! It was a pretty heavy time, and I just wanted to not think about how it went to be honest. But I'm feeling a bit better emotionally and have gotten some good support through friends and therapy. The only problem I am having major troubles resolving is the financial aspect.

I have Medicaid for insurance, so I can be forthcoming and say that most if not all of my medical procedures, medication, and visits are covered. However, due to policy changes I can no longer use the transportation service to go to and from medical visits. Which is probably one of the worst things as I have a lot of appointments on the horizon and no money for bus passes or ride share. My doctor's office does offer free single ride and one transfer bus passes, but this doesn't seem to be a regular thing as far as I know. But I will ask once I see my primary again in August.

I know that I have asked for aid before, and I will never not be grateful to everyone who has helped me through the years. Asking for monetary help is not something that feels good; especially if I can't do something in return. At present, my ability to art consistently is limited due to the seizures; but I also have a backlog of work from the last few years. I offer ko-fi doodles as thanks for donation, and I will absolutely try my damnedest to do that; just understand that I cannot rock solid guarantee that a sketch will happen immediately and/or at all. Depending on what is going on with these appointments and my brain itself, everything is kind of uncertain.


This is not an excuse, it is an explanation.


Do not confuse my asking for help and talking about my situation as an attempt to garner sympathy. I know there are folks out there that probably think folks in need are just milking for free money. Some can and will abuse that, I am not one of them.

I will be posting the full story of what the heck happened to my Paypal and bank account in a Ko-fi post and another journal shortly. Please bear with me while I try to get everything organized and try to focus my brain.

Posted using PostyBirb