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Feeling Overwhelmed
2 years ago
Rare bi-yearly journal entry but I guess I just wanted somewhere to vent where not lots of people would really see it.
I feel really overwhelmed lately.
Maybe I'm going too hard, but the current climate online makes it so hard to be an entertainer.
I just want to make people smile, make people's lives easier, but even friends don't seem interested in what I put out.
You have to jump through so many hoops and do so much work to get noticed in this, I haven't had free time in well over a year, and for all the work I'm still nowhere near where I want to be.
I love it so much, doing streams, making videos, but even after all this time I am nowhere close to my goals. I'm doing better than most people, I'm so happy of the community I've fostered and the people I've met, but the road is still so long and so far away, and it's starting to catch up to me. I'm basically doing 5 different jobs at the moment, each taking more time than a full time job ever has. Wish I could hire someone to lighten the load.
I don't really know how to put what I feel about this into words, but I dislike how it feels I have to ask people to support me. I feel like, I should be supporting them as an entertainer. But if they don't even come to streams or view the content I put out, how can I? Does that make sense?
I dunno, just a blurb of things on my mind. Sorry if anything comes off the wrong way. In the end I just want to help people, make them laugh and smile.
Hopefully I can keep this up. Being an entertainer and content creator is the first time i've truly felt passionate about something in my life...but it's so draining.
I feel really overwhelmed lately.
Maybe I'm going too hard, but the current climate online makes it so hard to be an entertainer.
I just want to make people smile, make people's lives easier, but even friends don't seem interested in what I put out.
You have to jump through so many hoops and do so much work to get noticed in this, I haven't had free time in well over a year, and for all the work I'm still nowhere near where I want to be.
I love it so much, doing streams, making videos, but even after all this time I am nowhere close to my goals. I'm doing better than most people, I'm so happy of the community I've fostered and the people I've met, but the road is still so long and so far away, and it's starting to catch up to me. I'm basically doing 5 different jobs at the moment, each taking more time than a full time job ever has. Wish I could hire someone to lighten the load.
I don't really know how to put what I feel about this into words, but I dislike how it feels I have to ask people to support me. I feel like, I should be supporting them as an entertainer. But if they don't even come to streams or view the content I put out, how can I? Does that make sense?
I dunno, just a blurb of things on my mind. Sorry if anything comes off the wrong way. In the end I just want to help people, make them laugh and smile.
Hopefully I can keep this up. Being an entertainer and content creator is the first time i've truly felt passionate about something in my life...but it's so draining.
I know it's been a very long time since we talked or anything, so maybe it doesn't mean as much coming from me, but if you're enjoying what you're working on, that does make a difference. I know others have said it's important to take a break and get your mind reset sometimes, but it also is hard to do that when Twitch is so fickle about consistency, too.