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Apologies on Absence + Some Concerns... (Update)
2 years ago
Disconnected from the world again.... 
Hello everyone!
I want to apologize for my complete absence the past couple of weeks- I have been very drained thanks to having 2 menstrual cycles almost back to back (I have endometriosis and PMDD, so that makes them extremely painful and emotionally distressing), and have been honestly spending a lot of time sleeping as I have felt exhausted constantly. I really hate it.
I'm pushing forward though- I am going to try and really buckle down and get to work on owed commissions. I apologize profusely to those who have reached out to me and have not heard back- I will be getting back to you all asap!
That being said, I've been under a due amount of stress because of the revelation that I may have Eye cancer.
It is not set in stone, so I'm trying not to panic too much and don't mean to alarm anyone else either. But I do want to state it here as a heads up so that if something does come out of this, it won't be too much of a surprise.
You technically can stop here if you'd like, as that is basically the tldr, as I tend to ramble and practically write essays because I have a hard time condensing my feelings, but here are the details if you're interested.
Details:
I know I have spoken to some of you about this before, but since 2020 there have been cysts on my eyes, which at first didn't seem to be symptomatic. They are centered exactly on each tear duct. Very odd to say the least- well in 2021, they started becoming more symptomatic- I was getting constant dry eye and the cysts would get red and angry and hurt like hell. On top of that, they had gotten bigger and I also had a couple new ones on one of my eyes next to the tear duct..
Well, they have only gotten bigger over the years, even with the prescription eye drops my doctor gave me that I've been on for a year that was supposed to help with the symptoms at the very least shrink them (they do help with the symptoms at least by creating new tears, but I still get flare ups), but they have only gotten larger and more concerning looking.
After some research recently regarding it, I stumbled across some scholarly articles talking about something called Ocular MALT Lymphoma, a Non-Hodgkins cancer of the eyes.
I want to reiterate that I am NOT the type of person to look something up on google and then freak out because one thing said I could have cancer based on one symptom.
In fact, I didn't even really think twice about possibly having it, but I find medical science interesting and have a bit of a hyperfixation for it and love learning new things, so I looked into it more as I hadn't heard of MALT Lymphoma.
Well, the research on it only got more and more eerily similar to the "cysts" I have on my eyes, even down to including that it can be triggered by autoimmune disorders like Hashimoto's, which I have.
So after that, I decided to look up images to see what they looked like- and lo and behold, they look EXACTLY like mine. I mentioned this briefly to the endocrinologist at an appointment yesterday and he agreed it seemed a bit suspicious.
With that, I have an eye doctor appointment on Thursday, and he will likely send me in to get the lesions biopsied.
Again, nothing is concrete yet!! I'm not flat out saying I have cancer, only that it is a possibility. I'm holding out hope that it's not that, but the odds aren't looking too great against me, I'll give you that.
Thanks if you got this far!!!
I will keep you all updated on what happens!
Much love to all of you, I hope you are safe and well <3
I want to apologize for my complete absence the past couple of weeks- I have been very drained thanks to having 2 menstrual cycles almost back to back (I have endometriosis and PMDD, so that makes them extremely painful and emotionally distressing), and have been honestly spending a lot of time sleeping as I have felt exhausted constantly. I really hate it.
I'm pushing forward though- I am going to try and really buckle down and get to work on owed commissions. I apologize profusely to those who have reached out to me and have not heard back- I will be getting back to you all asap!
That being said, I've been under a due amount of stress because of the revelation that I may have Eye cancer.
It is not set in stone, so I'm trying not to panic too much and don't mean to alarm anyone else either. But I do want to state it here as a heads up so that if something does come out of this, it won't be too much of a surprise.
You technically can stop here if you'd like, as that is basically the tldr, as I tend to ramble and practically write essays because I have a hard time condensing my feelings, but here are the details if you're interested.
Details:
I know I have spoken to some of you about this before, but since 2020 there have been cysts on my eyes, which at first didn't seem to be symptomatic. They are centered exactly on each tear duct. Very odd to say the least- well in 2021, they started becoming more symptomatic- I was getting constant dry eye and the cysts would get red and angry and hurt like hell. On top of that, they had gotten bigger and I also had a couple new ones on one of my eyes next to the tear duct..
Well, they have only gotten bigger over the years, even with the prescription eye drops my doctor gave me that I've been on for a year that was supposed to help with the symptoms at the very least shrink them (they do help with the symptoms at least by creating new tears, but I still get flare ups), but they have only gotten larger and more concerning looking.
After some research recently regarding it, I stumbled across some scholarly articles talking about something called Ocular MALT Lymphoma, a Non-Hodgkins cancer of the eyes.
I want to reiterate that I am NOT the type of person to look something up on google and then freak out because one thing said I could have cancer based on one symptom.
In fact, I didn't even really think twice about possibly having it, but I find medical science interesting and have a bit of a hyperfixation for it and love learning new things, so I looked into it more as I hadn't heard of MALT Lymphoma.
Well, the research on it only got more and more eerily similar to the "cysts" I have on my eyes, even down to including that it can be triggered by autoimmune disorders like Hashimoto's, which I have.
So after that, I decided to look up images to see what they looked like- and lo and behold, they look EXACTLY like mine. I mentioned this briefly to the endocrinologist at an appointment yesterday and he agreed it seemed a bit suspicious.
With that, I have an eye doctor appointment on Thursday, and he will likely send me in to get the lesions biopsied.
Again, nothing is concrete yet!! I'm not flat out saying I have cancer, only that it is a possibility. I'm holding out hope that it's not that, but the odds aren't looking too great against me, I'll give you that.
Thanks if you got this far!!!
I will keep you all updated on what happens!
Much love to all of you, I hope you are safe and well <3
No, the sun don't shine in the place i've been.... 
I got a referral for an opthalmologist, so hopefully I get a call soon to schedule an appointment!