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I'm in a really shitty mental state. Feeling shitty.
2 years ago
Hey, everyone,
I hope this journal finds you well. Today, I want to open up about something deeply personal and significant that's been happening in my life. As an artist and someone with Asperger's Syndrome (ASD) and Hashimoto's Disease, the recent turn of events has left me feeling overwhelmed and uncertain about the future.
For years, my parents have been considering selling our family home, but it always got delayed. The original plan was to sell it within two years, but fate had different plans for us. Recently, the same job I was laid off from, the one my mom worked at, unexpectedly and without warning, laid off the entire 2nd shift staff. It was a huge blow, and although we saw signs of slowdown, it was still a shock to everyone.
Now, my parents are saying that we have no choice but to sell the house within the next six months. The contingency plan is to move into a mobile home on one of our relative's properties. While I'm thankful for the support of my cousin, I can't help but worry about the challenges that lie ahead.
One of my major concerns is the impact on my privacy, especially if I'm unable to take my PC with me. As an artist, my creative space is essential, and I fear not having enough privacy or the right tools to draw. Moreover, we might have to get rid of the printer/scanner, making it difficult for me to scan my drawings and share them in the same quality. Taking photos is an option, but it's not the same, and uploading larger files online will become a struggle.
On top of that, there's the worry about my health. Since my layoff in February 2023, I've been trying to get on disability due to my health conditions. While I've been doing relatively better than before, there are still times when I feel tired and fatigued. The uncertainty around my health situation only adds to the stress.
The thought of having limited internet access in our new living situation also troubles me. It means I won't be able to stay connected with my internet friends as much, and making money through commissions will become even harder. As an artist, those connections and opportunities are essential for me.
Moving, selling, and downsizing in such a short notice is an emotional rollercoaster. While I can manage with some belongings, it will be particularly tough if I have to let go of my computer, which is vital for my work and personal life.
I'm sharing this because I feel helpless and vulnerable right now. The sudden changes have me freaking out, and I can't help but feel like a pathetic piece of shit, worrying about my future and fearing the worst.
To those who have shown understanding and support during this time, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am sharing this not to seek pity, but to process my emotions and find strength in knowing that others might have faced similar challenges.
If you have any advice, kind words, or stories to share, please feel free to do so. As an artist, your support means the world to me. Let's hope for better days ahead and keep pushing forward together.
Thank you for reading and being part of my journey.
With love,
Elpida
I hope this journal finds you well. Today, I want to open up about something deeply personal and significant that's been happening in my life. As an artist and someone with Asperger's Syndrome (ASD) and Hashimoto's Disease, the recent turn of events has left me feeling overwhelmed and uncertain about the future.
For years, my parents have been considering selling our family home, but it always got delayed. The original plan was to sell it within two years, but fate had different plans for us. Recently, the same job I was laid off from, the one my mom worked at, unexpectedly and without warning, laid off the entire 2nd shift staff. It was a huge blow, and although we saw signs of slowdown, it was still a shock to everyone.
Now, my parents are saying that we have no choice but to sell the house within the next six months. The contingency plan is to move into a mobile home on one of our relative's properties. While I'm thankful for the support of my cousin, I can't help but worry about the challenges that lie ahead.
One of my major concerns is the impact on my privacy, especially if I'm unable to take my PC with me. As an artist, my creative space is essential, and I fear not having enough privacy or the right tools to draw. Moreover, we might have to get rid of the printer/scanner, making it difficult for me to scan my drawings and share them in the same quality. Taking photos is an option, but it's not the same, and uploading larger files online will become a struggle.
On top of that, there's the worry about my health. Since my layoff in February 2023, I've been trying to get on disability due to my health conditions. While I've been doing relatively better than before, there are still times when I feel tired and fatigued. The uncertainty around my health situation only adds to the stress.
The thought of having limited internet access in our new living situation also troubles me. It means I won't be able to stay connected with my internet friends as much, and making money through commissions will become even harder. As an artist, those connections and opportunities are essential for me.
Moving, selling, and downsizing in such a short notice is an emotional rollercoaster. While I can manage with some belongings, it will be particularly tough if I have to let go of my computer, which is vital for my work and personal life.
I'm sharing this because I feel helpless and vulnerable right now. The sudden changes have me freaking out, and I can't help but feel like a pathetic piece of shit, worrying about my future and fearing the worst.
To those who have shown understanding and support during this time, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am sharing this not to seek pity, but to process my emotions and find strength in knowing that others might have faced similar challenges.
If you have any advice, kind words, or stories to share, please feel free to do so. As an artist, your support means the world to me. Let's hope for better days ahead and keep pushing forward together.
Thank you for reading and being part of my journey.
With love,
Elpida
I'm too sure if any of any of this really helps, you've probably already though about this but I just wanted to throw my two cents in for what they are worth, none the less I hope everything looks up for you man.
Like I said, IDK if I'd be able to find a decent job becasue the whoke entire pooint is that I've been wanting to get on disability due to constantly feeling fatigued and unable tow ork and if I do feel like shit and take too many days off, I then get fired and then it lkooks bad on me andn makes me look like a lazy p9iece of shit.