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I'm a fuckin mess. This morning is a fuckin' mess.
3 days ago
I'm too tired to explain everything.
This morning can kindly fuck off.
Esrlier this morning, i had to deal with wasp trying to come into my room. I got the outside nest entrance covered in wasp spray. The inside areas around the window are coated with water w/ soap and vinegar. My mistake was not covering the indoors with the soap+vinegar first, before doing the wasp spray, outside.
Then, as I was worrying about the wasp, my brother fuckin throws a fit because one of our cats, talvi, peed on his kids' shows near the enterance. Said how he wants to kill the cat and how it should just be outside. Really doesn't like her. Though he's had a history of saying shit and then calming his fuckin mind. Even so, shit like that makes me so stressed. I talked to my older sister about it via text and she reassured me my brother is just blowing off steam and that my niece would NOT be happy if he did anything to Talvi.
I hate how I act and feel. I have a red marks on my left shoulder from slapping/hitting myself. I hit myself whenever there's alot of stress or I'm frustrated. Yes, I know it's bad. No, it's not premeditated. I do this when there's so much stress it feels like I gotta punish myself. I have no clue if others with autism can relate to this....I wish there was another way for me to deal with this stress and prevent myself from hurting.
I might regret making this post since people are gonna worry about me. Idk...I just ne1ed to get this out. I'm doing better....I guess. I might just have to avoid my brother. So that's means I'll likely go more hungry and....stuff.
I wanna be selfish and just want hugs from people. Cuddles....idk...I'm a fuckin child.
This morning can kindly fuck off.
Esrlier this morning, i had to deal with wasp trying to come into my room. I got the outside nest entrance covered in wasp spray. The inside areas around the window are coated with water w/ soap and vinegar. My mistake was not covering the indoors with the soap+vinegar first, before doing the wasp spray, outside.
Then, as I was worrying about the wasp, my brother fuckin throws a fit because one of our cats, talvi, peed on his kids' shows near the enterance. Said how he wants to kill the cat and how it should just be outside. Really doesn't like her. Though he's had a history of saying shit and then calming his fuckin mind. Even so, shit like that makes me so stressed. I talked to my older sister about it via text and she reassured me my brother is just blowing off steam and that my niece would NOT be happy if he did anything to Talvi.
I hate how I act and feel. I have a red marks on my left shoulder from slapping/hitting myself. I hit myself whenever there's alot of stress or I'm frustrated. Yes, I know it's bad. No, it's not premeditated. I do this when there's so much stress it feels like I gotta punish myself. I have no clue if others with autism can relate to this....I wish there was another way for me to deal with this stress and prevent myself from hurting.
I might regret making this post since people are gonna worry about me. Idk...I just ne1ed to get this out. I'm doing better....I guess. I might just have to avoid my brother. So that's means I'll likely go more hungry and....stuff.
I wanna be selfish and just want hugs from people. Cuddles....idk...I'm a fuckin child.
Otherwise, my temporary makeshift defense (tissues coated with the scent of soap and vinegar while clear tape covers the crack) is working really well, so far.
I'm a bit concerned since I read the wasp could eat through drywall. IDK how much of it is true. My dad is like "oh, they'll just starve over the winter and if their entrance is covered with poison." He's deal with wasp for over 30 years so...I just gotta trust him. I just hope the insecticide spray works just as much to spread the poison into the colony.
It's getting colder here, anyhow, so I shouldn't have to worry too much. I just don't want the wasp to somehow take control of the walls or my room. But for now, I've been able to
If I can give any advice for if your wasp situation does get bad. I would suggest keeping quick access to a vacuum so you can suck them up quickly, but here’s to hopeing winter wipes them out for ya!