Thank you for the comments and notes checking up on me, I really appreciate them and I'm slightly overwhelmed. It's hard to respond to, but I will try.

I figured it is only fair for me to finally make another journal, though I must say it's just more of the same. I have been rather vague, and I have abstained from sharing a lot of details with my illness with you all because it sounds like a sob story. As most people with chronic health are aware there are peaks (normalcy) and valleys (bad) with your health at any given time, and unfortunately I've been in a valley for awhile now. For awhile it was thought that I had caught covid and it perhaps worsened my illness, and the docs still dont know if that's true or not. The plain facts are as follows:

I have rheumatoid, which not only causes pain in the joints in my hands, but all the joints in my body. This sometimes includes my sternum (costochondritis) and even my skull. Once I ran a fever of 104 for several days not because I had caught a cold, but because I was having a rheumatoid flare up. It effects everything really, but I wont go into more detail than what's needed here. You can imagine what it might be like from this, I hope.

This is really only for transparency as to what's going on; why my commissions are considered limited, and why I have long periods of time where I disappear. All of that pain just makes me so tired. I am exhausted most of the time, but some days are good and I can get through a lot, but most are bad these days, and it's all I can do to get out of bed. I am not seeking pity, nor encouragement. This is so that the understanding is out there, because I do not know if I have outlined it clearly anywhere. I barely talk to anyone about it, but just professionally, I think it has to be known. I try not to give turn around times and I now warn people of my speed varying because I am sick. I have minimized my condition online and irl for a long, long time because I do not want to acknowledge how sick I am, but it's simply at the point where I can no longer do that.

However, I will say that within the next few months I will finally be able to seek real treatment for my RA. So do not fret for me, but I will continue to be in and mostly out.

Up until now I did not let anyone see how bad my condition was until it was no longer up to me. Something I do not recommend doing, even if you are trying to put up a strong front, trying not to be a burden. Neglecting a disease leads nowhere good, trust me I know. A friendly tip from your pal,

ohmi