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Burnout is no joke
2 years ago
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I have alluded to my burnout but never spoke at length about it. I think in many ways I’m still processing what happened and what led to it. It’s hard for me to put into words what it was that I felt and continue to feel. I felt a little lost when it happened, but I have spoken about this at length with friends and even reached out to artists I admire (and to my surprise got replies back!) and it really helped me put things in perspective. It's very important to acknowledge the symptoms and always reach out for help when you feel like you're on your way or have burnt out. Sometimes people have different perspectives that may be able to help you.
First, I want to thank those who stayed with me through my long hiatus and continue to enjoy the work I put out even though it’s a massive shift in what I used to draw. This means more to me than I can ever express in words.
One of the reasons it’s so hard to talk about is that I’m not entirely sure when it all began. If I had to pinpoint where things were going wrong would be around 5 years ago. And 3 years ago I sort of just… disappeared. Not answering messages and maybe posting 1 or 2 bits of art that year. The truth is, I was debating whether or not to delete my account and just disappear for good.
Thankfully I spoke to my friends about what I felt and even reached out to some of my favourite artists and got a reply back. I held a very heart-to-heart conversation with one of them and it really put a lot of things in perspective for me. Being honest about what I was doing was difficult, especially to someone I considered highly but it made me realise what I was doing was incredibly unhealthy.
When I typed out what I wanted to say and even removed large chunks of text it felt like I just droned on. If you are interested in knowing in more detail, by all means, my notes are open.
In summary, I allowed people to dictate what I created, and I began to create artwork that I wasn't fully happy with because I just wanted to be relevant and liked. In many ways, I noticed I had regressed in quality and style and freaked out that I wasn't getting better with time. In many ways, I fell for the trap where I'd produce not because I liked what I did but because I thought it would get me noticed and liked.
After my heart-to-heart, I closed commissions for a long while and began to think about what I wanted. What I wanted to draw. What I thought was fun. I have changed. And after a while, it didn't feel right to hold on to a style I wasn't connected to.
This is why my style changed because I allowed it to naturally head in that direction. I’m now at the other end feeling empowered, content and emboldened. Even if it doesn’t get as much traction as it did before, the best thing that came out of this is that I am actually happy. Truly happy. I think this is why there is such a stark contrast in what I'm posting. I'm enjoying what I'm doing and every time I push just a little further. Just because I could do the style doesn't mean I should have solely focused on it.
I got to mess around and be playful with my work and got to a style I’m so comfortable with and feels like it's more "me" than the style I kept just for the sake of relevancy.
I am happy.
I’m still not fully out of burnout. Some don’t realise the effects of burnout can take so long to overcome. I know my journey will differ from many. In my case, being able to focus on what I wanted and needed from my art (as well as my own personal project) helped me gain my love for it back. Don't ignore your needs in terms of art. What you have to say to the world matters just as much.
In the next coming weeks when I open commissions again, I will do it with the knowledge and experiences of the past to make sure I don’t overwhelm myself or ignore my needs.
First, I want to thank those who stayed with me through my long hiatus and continue to enjoy the work I put out even though it’s a massive shift in what I used to draw. This means more to me than I can ever express in words.
One of the reasons it’s so hard to talk about is that I’m not entirely sure when it all began. If I had to pinpoint where things were going wrong would be around 5 years ago. And 3 years ago I sort of just… disappeared. Not answering messages and maybe posting 1 or 2 bits of art that year. The truth is, I was debating whether or not to delete my account and just disappear for good.
Thankfully I spoke to my friends about what I felt and even reached out to some of my favourite artists and got a reply back. I held a very heart-to-heart conversation with one of them and it really put a lot of things in perspective for me. Being honest about what I was doing was difficult, especially to someone I considered highly but it made me realise what I was doing was incredibly unhealthy.
When I typed out what I wanted to say and even removed large chunks of text it felt like I just droned on. If you are interested in knowing in more detail, by all means, my notes are open.
In summary, I allowed people to dictate what I created, and I began to create artwork that I wasn't fully happy with because I just wanted to be relevant and liked. In many ways, I noticed I had regressed in quality and style and freaked out that I wasn't getting better with time. In many ways, I fell for the trap where I'd produce not because I liked what I did but because I thought it would get me noticed and liked.
After my heart-to-heart, I closed commissions for a long while and began to think about what I wanted. What I wanted to draw. What I thought was fun. I have changed. And after a while, it didn't feel right to hold on to a style I wasn't connected to.
This is why my style changed because I allowed it to naturally head in that direction. I’m now at the other end feeling empowered, content and emboldened. Even if it doesn’t get as much traction as it did before, the best thing that came out of this is that I am actually happy. Truly happy. I think this is why there is such a stark contrast in what I'm posting. I'm enjoying what I'm doing and every time I push just a little further. Just because I could do the style doesn't mean I should have solely focused on it.
I got to mess around and be playful with my work and got to a style I’m so comfortable with and feels like it's more "me" than the style I kept just for the sake of relevancy.
I am happy.
I’m still not fully out of burnout. Some don’t realise the effects of burnout can take so long to overcome. I know my journey will differ from many. In my case, being able to focus on what I wanted and needed from my art (as well as my own personal project) helped me gain my love for it back. Don't ignore your needs in terms of art. What you have to say to the world matters just as much.
In the next coming weeks when I open commissions again, I will do it with the knowledge and experiences of the past to make sure I don’t overwhelm myself or ignore my needs.
If you're going through a burnout and feel free to reach out. With my schedule I can't talk much but maybe sharing experiences can help X
It sounds like you are stressed about it, feeling like you have too much to do and no motivation to start
It does sound very similar to what I gone through. I have too many ideas still but the difference when I felt burnt out was that I'm still able to choose what to draw and feel motivated by it rather than feel paralysed by it.
I don't know if this will help but what helped me was making a plan not to do a project I planned and instead focused on other things. Sometimes that was writing, sewing or doodling random things that made me smile or laugh.
Planning on taking time off eases the tension than if it's an unplanned hiatus because your brain is going a mile a minute. Take maybe a planned month off and revisit the comic and see if you're in a better place to gather your thoughts or if you need more time. In truth I needed more time but you may find that you may only need a little time away. Don't hesitate to take more time if needed
This helped me refocus a lot of thing, just being able to step aside and not allow it to consume my thoughts for a little while helped me with reframing things.
This will be a good time to set boundaries on how many pages you make because it's also possible getting burned out on an idea or concept when you overwork yourself. Your wellbeing matters.