An update
2 years ago
It's been...jeez, a few months shy of two years with no activity. I'm still here, if there is literally anyone reading this.
I've had a lot of time to work on myself and reflect on a lot of things. I've grown substantially since I took a step back.
I started HRT last summer, and just passed my one year mark a little over a month ago. And I had no idea how much better that would make me feel, as tropey as that might be. My mind and my mood are in so much better of a place today, a place so good that I had all but given up on finding it for decades. I never knew what running on the right hormones felt like, but...well, I'm not going back to before, that's for certain.
It hasn't been all good. I've had to deal with some shitty times...my marriage went haywire for a bit, so did my relationships with my family and friends. Lots of hurtful comments. Lots of pained nights crying myself to sleep.
But I'm in a great place, and looking forward.
That all said, I changed my name and my pronouns IRL, and I think it's time I made some changes here, too.
One of the things that bothered me about this account, for so long, is that I had these intentions from the start of what it was going to be, and these impossible ambitions. What I wanted to contribute, what kind of art I wanted to do. I had all of this rich lore, all of this story I wanted to say, and never said a word of it. For lack of a better word, I sucked at that mission. I got caught in giving what was wanted, instead of doing what made me happy. And I got caught in the trap of losing motivation partway through projects.
I look at this account and see a lot of who I used to be, and feel trapped to a degree. "Daniel" as a concept was doomed by a vast ambition - maybe if I wasn't married, maybe if this was all I did, could I have brought Daniel to life like I intended to...but that's not where I ever was, nor would it ever be where I really wanted to get to.
I'm going to create a new account to more accurately reflect who I am today, and move on from here. I'll make some updates here to point to my new profile when I make it, if you want to follow along, and maybe one last bit of art to say goodbye with.
I don't know when I'll have time to do art, I know I'll never have the time to become someone great and popular here with the kind of consistency that requires. But I will be around. I'll post when I can, and go from there.
Anyway, I hope you are doing well, and...thanks for sticking around.
- M
I've had a lot of time to work on myself and reflect on a lot of things. I've grown substantially since I took a step back.
I started HRT last summer, and just passed my one year mark a little over a month ago. And I had no idea how much better that would make me feel, as tropey as that might be. My mind and my mood are in so much better of a place today, a place so good that I had all but given up on finding it for decades. I never knew what running on the right hormones felt like, but...well, I'm not going back to before, that's for certain.
It hasn't been all good. I've had to deal with some shitty times...my marriage went haywire for a bit, so did my relationships with my family and friends. Lots of hurtful comments. Lots of pained nights crying myself to sleep.
But I'm in a great place, and looking forward.
That all said, I changed my name and my pronouns IRL, and I think it's time I made some changes here, too.
One of the things that bothered me about this account, for so long, is that I had these intentions from the start of what it was going to be, and these impossible ambitions. What I wanted to contribute, what kind of art I wanted to do. I had all of this rich lore, all of this story I wanted to say, and never said a word of it. For lack of a better word, I sucked at that mission. I got caught in giving what was wanted, instead of doing what made me happy. And I got caught in the trap of losing motivation partway through projects.
I look at this account and see a lot of who I used to be, and feel trapped to a degree. "Daniel" as a concept was doomed by a vast ambition - maybe if I wasn't married, maybe if this was all I did, could I have brought Daniel to life like I intended to...but that's not where I ever was, nor would it ever be where I really wanted to get to.
I'm going to create a new account to more accurately reflect who I am today, and move on from here. I'll make some updates here to point to my new profile when I make it, if you want to follow along, and maybe one last bit of art to say goodbye with.
I don't know when I'll have time to do art, I know I'll never have the time to become someone great and popular here with the kind of consistency that requires. But I will be around. I'll post when I can, and go from there.
Anyway, I hope you are doing well, and...thanks for sticking around.
- M
Tehweenus
~tehweenus
Looking forward to the future for you!
Nekrahn
~a25
Hope things go up for you from here
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