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plz help- social anxiety with other artists
2 years ago
I’m getting older, i hate it, whatever.
I enjoy having furry friends a lot, I have always seen myself as a collaborator and as someone who loves to stoke creativity amongst my peers/friends in a jack-of-all-trades sort of way.
Lately I’ve interacted with a few who are dead-ass artists, far more skilled than me, and while Ive received genuinely a lot of joy bonding over tropes, TF’s, non-furry media we enjoy, I’ve noticed something that is making it hard to respond to incoming messages and rubbing me off the wrong way.
Essentially, These users simply don’t care about anything that doesn't involve them, or specifically, their OC’s. Yeah, I drew fan art for them and they loved it, super fun, but once that was over? I felt kicked to the curb.
I’d want to share something I drew and their response would be like “AWESOME is it of (my character)??”
“ Well, no, it’s of me!”
“Oh.”
*sends WIP*
“Cool.”
So like obviously that’s not a great look, not very uhhhhh considerate of lil’ ol me, but what freaks me out is… this is 2 separate users, with HUGE follower counts, probably with many other online contacts other than me, and I’m thinking they just dont have the time/willpower to address anything that doesn’t involve them personally? or something?
Listen, the fandom has evolved in the years’ hiatus I took from art, I can see and feel it in my ooolllldd bones
but I’ve been burned badly by other users I once called friends, and never again. I just wondered if anyone had some insight in conduct or a realistic take on what users are even doing here socially anymore xD
Has anyone else encountered something similar, or even have another perspective on the whole “You did art for me, I did art for you let’s be friends” dynamic that I remember somewhat fondly from my 2018 years?
LEMME KNOW IN THE COMMENTS BELOW DONT FORGET TO HIT THAT BELL AND SUBSCRIBE
I enjoy having furry friends a lot, I have always seen myself as a collaborator and as someone who loves to stoke creativity amongst my peers/friends in a jack-of-all-trades sort of way.
Lately I’ve interacted with a few who are dead-ass artists, far more skilled than me, and while Ive received genuinely a lot of joy bonding over tropes, TF’s, non-furry media we enjoy, I’ve noticed something that is making it hard to respond to incoming messages and rubbing me off the wrong way.
Essentially, These users simply don’t care about anything that doesn't involve them, or specifically, their OC’s. Yeah, I drew fan art for them and they loved it, super fun, but once that was over? I felt kicked to the curb.
I’d want to share something I drew and their response would be like “AWESOME is it of (my character)??”
“ Well, no, it’s of me!”
“Oh.”
*sends WIP*
“Cool.”
So like obviously that’s not a great look, not very uhhhhh considerate of lil’ ol me, but what freaks me out is… this is 2 separate users, with HUGE follower counts, probably with many other online contacts other than me, and I’m thinking they just dont have the time/willpower to address anything that doesn’t involve them personally? or something?
Listen, the fandom has evolved in the years’ hiatus I took from art, I can see and feel it in my ooolllldd bones
but I’ve been burned badly by other users I once called friends, and never again. I just wondered if anyone had some insight in conduct or a realistic take on what users are even doing here socially anymore xD
Has anyone else encountered something similar, or even have another perspective on the whole “You did art for me, I did art for you let’s be friends” dynamic that I remember somewhat fondly from my 2018 years?
LEMME KNOW IN THE COMMENTS BELOW DONT FORGET TO HIT THAT BELL AND SUBSCRIBE
'Cause it works, I tell ya, it just works.
But I'm a loner in every department in my life, this fandom to me is about being seen and seeing others how they want to be seen, and I want to spread that weirdness around til I'm too old to care, lol
(And even though I totally get just going radio-silent, I see you as the legend that got me drawing tf smut, so, y'know, THANKS for that )
Media consumption and parasocial relationships are just a different beast thanks to stuff like Twitch. Everything is so on-demand and user-centric that it's hard to appeal to the masses for any sort of mutual friendship rather than a content-creator/follower type relationship.
So I admit I also stick to the small social circle that I trust to get commissions rather then letting the public at me.
I know this isn't much help but I completely feel you here and I miss those days when people were more open to socialize and not just stay in very tight groups and such. I just gave up on socializing and trying to make friends now a days x'D
I mean I have no doubt post-pandemic isolation running amok has a lot to do with it, but like fuuuuuccc, even though everybody wants to be a vtuber, not everybody is a vtuber xD YET.
Things aren't so dystopian that any conversation that doesn't expand "THE BRAND" isn't worth having, people just want to be seen!
I don't blame you for giving up though, but you deserve to be celebrated for what you contributed to the TF fandom I hope in whatever circles you still interact with, you are!!
If a conversation falls short after a few messages, don't sweat it. It is how it was supposed to be. Growing older also makes one less patient with this kind of bs.
It is pretty much the same with most (I say most) TF groups on Telegram or Discord. It can end in celebrity contests and if you don't prostitute yourself for the local celebrities, you'll be ignored.
Just look at how many times a group that has been quiet for hours wakes up when you share a new artwork you made, and oh suddenly, litterally 10 seconds after your post, some people are posting their recent commissions they got to focus all the attention on them.
Don't waste your time or energy with these. As you said, the fandom has never been so big. You can find people that suit you.
I think I just have some people-pleaser tendencies that remain even with my fame-chasing days far behind me, heh.
I just remember when I first got into this stuff, I felt seen. When I was younger, feeling seen saved my sanity, and I want to spread that feeling around for as long as I can!
I suppose it's just daunting in the modern day everything is about personal brands, transactional creativity, AI, blah blah blah.
Thank you for weighing in tho, Nygh <3 You've been amazing on my weird kinky little personal furry journey!
People skills are a muscle to be exercised, developed, or neglected like any other, and I think especially these days, community and making others feel seen is important for our escapist furry fandom to stay awesome! :)
But yeah, I think you're right and it's a bit dreary looking if there's a future where we don't feel seen or wanted unless we slot into the algorithm absolutely perfectly :[
I've gotten a lot of enjoyment lately from doing Drawpiles with friends and acquaintances. When you're sharing a canvas for a few hours, you can draw their OC, they can draw your OC, or you can even collab on the same sketch together.
Here are a few fun Drawpiles I've taken part in recently which have featured those kinds of dynamics.
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/53541496/
https://t.me/LizardDoodles/211
https://t.me/LizardDoodles/226
https://t.me/LizardDoodles/241
Everytime you have sent me WIPs and finished artwork on discord I’ve absolutely loved it
You create some incredible tailage
I really appreciate that, and will definitely send more as they come! heheh
Also, your art style has always been great to see, no matter the character, so I hope they don't deter you too much creatively :)
It must be resisted!!
Embrace the Underground!🤟
"No, I've done nothing, ok, mhhh"
It's odd
“YOU GET NOTHING,
AND I GET FREE STUFF FROM YOU.
OKAY? OKAY???”
No thank you, puta madre…