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Running - Update
16 years ago
"Home is run no more." -WE3
(Thinking out loud, in case it helps anyone considering the same choice, or just to speak my mind.)
The cats are secure for a couple of weeks, and I've stashed my most important stuff. Both of those ease my mind; now I just have to finish the job. I'll be talking to financial aid once the offices open on Monday, with the aim of securing a proper place ASAP, by Christmas, or at least January.
I've run once before, and it's much less world-breaking the second time. Make a plan, consider security, salvage the most important things first. Take care of the first day, then the weekend, then the weeks and months to follow. Once the decision's made, only logistics remain. Deciding to run is by far the hardest part.
I remember the awkwardnesses from the first time, seventeen months ago. Sleeping fully clothed with my wallet and cellphone in my pockets, just in case. Checking the lines of sight so I won't be taken by surprise. Vetting what I say, even to my relatives, lest they innocently give the game away. All familiar tricks, skills learned in fear and now dusted off with resignation.
Yet these are not rare skills. People run every day, coming to shelters and services terrified in their loneliness; but this path has been well trodden and well guided by veterans willing to help those who run. There is a future outside the walls, when the price of staying becomes too high.
If anyone out there needs to run, but the fear of escape still outweighs the fear of staying, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (http://www.ndvh.org). They were my guide, when I first asked the question that serves as the gateway for every single abused person: "I think I might be being abused but I'm not sure... can you help me?"
Ask. It's not the end of the world... quite the opposite.
Peace - Pteryxx
(Thinking out loud, in case it helps anyone considering the same choice, or just to speak my mind.)
The cats are secure for a couple of weeks, and I've stashed my most important stuff. Both of those ease my mind; now I just have to finish the job. I'll be talking to financial aid once the offices open on Monday, with the aim of securing a proper place ASAP, by Christmas, or at least January.
I've run once before, and it's much less world-breaking the second time. Make a plan, consider security, salvage the most important things first. Take care of the first day, then the weekend, then the weeks and months to follow. Once the decision's made, only logistics remain. Deciding to run is by far the hardest part.
I remember the awkwardnesses from the first time, seventeen months ago. Sleeping fully clothed with my wallet and cellphone in my pockets, just in case. Checking the lines of sight so I won't be taken by surprise. Vetting what I say, even to my relatives, lest they innocently give the game away. All familiar tricks, skills learned in fear and now dusted off with resignation.
Yet these are not rare skills. People run every day, coming to shelters and services terrified in their loneliness; but this path has been well trodden and well guided by veterans willing to help those who run. There is a future outside the walls, when the price of staying becomes too high.
If anyone out there needs to run, but the fear of escape still outweighs the fear of staying, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (http://www.ndvh.org). They were my guide, when I first asked the question that serves as the gateway for every single abused person: "I think I might be being abused but I'm not sure... can you help me?"
Ask. It's not the end of the world... quite the opposite.
Peace - Pteryxx
