Hello all you lovelies. I hope you are all doing welland living your best lives. I figured that it was about time for another "I'm not dead, but life is life and here's what is going on with mine lately" post.


September Life 2023 Update

CAT

About a year ago I decided to pull the trigger and adopt a wonderful new addition to my family. She was just a little older than kitten I think (adoption center wasn't sure) but she has saved me from a lot of self destructive tendencies in the short time I've had her (we will get into that later).

Her name is Jellybean, although she prefers the name Princess.

She is the sassy little ball of fur that I didn't know I needed.

Hindsight : White cat and dark/black clothing...GREAT IDEA!


WORK

It's been a good while since I've posted one of these and while I'm pretty sure no one actually cares I find it rather cathartic to info dump my life from time to time.

Since I last posted an update about life, things have been interesting, fun, devastating and exciting. I can't really remember what all has happened 100%, but I'll hit the key points.

Beginning of last year I finally said to hell with my job of 10 years and started looking for something new. Between actively looking and having made good connections with my (then) current job. I received an offer to do pretty much the same job I was doing but making about 25% more to do it with the potential for advancement (one thing my other job was lacking with the position I was currently in).

It quickly turned into a "I simply can't say no" situation.

I could not be happier with that decision. While I can't say I love what I do, I do love the people I work with and the people I get to interact with. I'm still working there and don't see that changing at all in the near future.


HEALTH

As you may have known if you've paid attention to my ramblings long enough. I lost A TON of weight over the last handful of years and have managed to keep most of it off but it was creeping back up. This sent me into a bit of a depressive slump and those do wonders for willpower and accountability so it was quickly turning into a self destructive cycle set on repeat.

I recognized those patterns and knew I needed to get some external help to break out of it. I went and had a chat with my doctor and was put on Phentermine (Adipex) to see if getting that bit of weight loss back on track would fix my mental instability.

Holy cow did it ever. I mean like night and day difference. That helped me in ways that were completely unexpected and while getting my weight back down and under control was the goal. It opened up new dialog between me and my doctor. I explained how much it really helped me, not just with weight loss but overall mood/demeanor/etc, she mentioned that a lot of times ADHD can trigger depression like symptoms in people and the fact that a stimulant helped that much may be worth looking into that as well.

I've always been a person that's scoffed at medications for the most part in regards to mental issues and have managed 34 years without any so I was hesitant but even I couldn't deny the results in how I felt.

Long story short, I met with a very nice therapist and was officially diagnosed with ADHD and have been on meds for it. They are weaker than the adipex as far as strength but I can't deny that they are just enough to help me dwell on negativity I've battled with for so long. I've only been on it for a little over a month and only really take it on days that I feel like I'm going to need it, its been working pretty well.

There are a whole lot more little life events that happened, none of them are really worth a deep dive into so I'll abridge those.

-Had my gall bladder removed
-Learned how to change a tire from a complete stranger on the side of the road proving there is still some level of kindness left in the world.
-Moved into a bigger apartment
-Fell out of touch and then reconnected back with a good friend
-Made new friends
-Realized that things are never going to just fall into my lap. If I want something, I have to go get it.
-Deleted my Facebook because its literally just a platform to sell things now.
-I'm sure there are more but I cant think of them right now.


THE FURRY COMMUNITY AND MY PLACE IN IT

It has been quite a long time since I have truly interacted with the furry community as a whole and while it has been 100% my own doing. I truly miss connecting with people in this sphere. Most of you are truly wonderful people and I regret losing contact with all of you. I miss just randomly chatting about things we all enjoy socializing with you all.

I feel bad that most of the time when I try to reconnect with people and the conversation quickly turns into the same old "how are you, good, thats good" loop and then when I stop initiating conversations, they just disappear into the void.

I understand that I'm not the most interesting person in the world but I'd love to play a game with someone sometime, make some new friends or just talk shop for a while.

This issue isn't just on my personal side though. I rarely see the "fun" side of FA anymore. My uploads are flooded with patreons, ych, commissions and other copy paste posts selling things. Dont get me wrong, nothing wrong with making a living but thats ALL FA is nowadays. Gone are the people just spreading silly ideas or fun aspects or provoking any type of thought. It just feels hollow to what it used to be.

THE ART, THE HOBBY, THE TIMESINK

If you've followed me for any amount of time you can see that my upload schedule is....sporadic at the best of times and "hey did you die?" at the worst.

I have actually been almost constantly producing content or being involved in hobbies to some extent, I just don't feel like what I'm working on or making really is worth showing here. Maybe that's just a me issue.

I've been spending the last few years miniature painting and have steadily gotten more and more proficient at it. I've painted tons of models, done some commission work and really enjoy creating tiny works of art.

My painting wheelhouse pretty much are limited to tabletop gaming models rather than strictly artistic pieces. I find the game, the lore, the stories you make and the ones you can tell yourself through simply adding color and flavor to grey plastic.

I mainly play Games Workshop games nowadays but have dabbled in many games, systems, and genres.

I do still create other kink related things from time to time but most of it isn't really geared toward furry content so I rarely post if here unless there is a story I'm particularly happy with. I have a blog on tumblr that almost no one here knows exists (unless you happen to notice I post the same here and there occassionally).

I would love to start drawing again but I feel like I just never have the time to dedicate to it and often get frustrated with it when I can't satisfy my increasingly critical brain.

I just simply lack the time to grow the skills I feel like I need to make something worthwhile at this point. I may give it another go in the future but for now. Its just not something I can bring myself to dive into.

Besides that I still play video games so between gaming, irl friends, work, work again because it takes up that much time, painting and the occassional writing. I am stretched incredibly thin on free time to invest into people who never invest their time in me.

This got a bit rambley and if you made it here. Thank you.

I really want to reconnect with my old friends and make some new ones and know that moving forward I'm going to make an effort to be a more active presence.

Look out for a couple other posts from me that I dont want to get lost in this life post.

Until next time, take care and stay safe!