Hey everyone. I'm sorry it's been so long. A lot has happened to me and idk I just began to give up. I'd been sleeping to avoid life/reality. I've been to the psyche ward twice. I have lymphoedema in both my legs, which means I can no longer work. I have a tear in my left (dominant) elbow, although a treatment will remedy that, with a bit of recovery time, in told. Trying to get my doc and the surgeon to communicate so I can get it done already.

All my hobbies just sound like work and even when I do get the urge to create... Idk... I just don't. I have no where I can sit down with my art. It's too cramped in my in-laws attic. But that's ok, my father in-law is so far gone with his dementia that he may wind up in a home, then we'll all be homeless. Flickie and his mom can't pay the bills without his income. We probably won't be here next summer. Whether or not I have SSI.

Nothing good ever happens to me. I can't foresee anything positive on the horizon. But I'm afraid of the Big End, so I just sleep. And when I become homeless, I can sleep then too. The AC doesn't work in flickie's car but the heat does. Til that either breaks or we just can't afford to let it run all night.

I'm not asking for financial help anymore. It's never enough and I always wind up further down that I was when I asked. I'm just expecting the worst to continue to happen to me until I break and end it.