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Where my furry came from.
2 years ago
I just posted this answer to 
Black-Comet 's journal, but I'll copy it here too.
I wasn't into the group playground games at school, so I played little fantasy games mostly by myself at primary and junior school, eventually adopting an animal-based fantasy based on 'The Leopard from Lime Street', a UK comic with strong Spiderman parallels.
At university, I found the Usenet group alt.fan.furry which was very quiet at the time and mostly consisted of announcements of Furry Parties in the US. I subscribed because I liked the name, but I thought it was a heavy metal band. Eventually I asked the channel what it was about and... I think Jimmy Chin responded explaining it and mentioning the Tezuka FTP site.
From there I joined FurryMuck and developed my huge 10' non-taking quadruped otter character, playing him until I married when my current badger character rose to prominence, and then my wife didn't like me RPing so I stopped on the muds.
My characters mostly represent a mixture of aspirational and perceived personality, skills, and lifestyle qualities. I draw a bit, though I rarely manage to get beyond sketches these days.
I originally came here because I was trying to draw and thought I may as well share what I drew in case someone else liked it too. Then I thought I might learn from the real artists. Then I started commissioning.
Of late I'm using AI to generate art because commissioning... I don't like the term 'feral' because that refers to domestic animals gone wild, and none of my characters are domestic species: they're standing-upright animals, like Beatrix Potter or Redwall. I prefer theriomorphic or 'therio'. Anyway, commissioning therio art only works 50% of the time, and I find the emotional effort of telling an otherwise highly skilled artist that they've completely bogged up my character when any idiot with a photograph of a badger could point out the errors, and why as a so-called artist can't they see that without insultingly trying to pass off their pathetically (but beautifully rendered) off-model image and now I have to summon the balance between asking how they thought they'd think it was acceptable, being polite because they already have my money and have already expended their effort... to tell them to do it all over again because they ignored my requirement for sending WIPs... it's emotionally draining and very stressful.
The main problem with AI art - as a consumer - is that of the nets which can draw a decent badger, none are able to decorate the borders of my badger's stripes with gold fur because it's like nothing they've trained on, and at the moment the in-painting tools I'm aware of aren't detailed enough to let me delete the borders accurately.
Unfortunately, it's so easy - currently with Bing - to churn out photographic level images which give me enough of a dopamine hit to make me press the button again, I'm like those experimental rats with the pleasure button. It's very distracting but very compelling - especially when I only give myself £50 per month to buy art.
I hang out on here, mostly reading journals and looking at art from or favourited by folks who favourite my stuff, and picking up new artists to watch. And entering raffles if I think they might be good at therio art.
Black-Comet 's journal, but I'll copy it here too.I wasn't into the group playground games at school, so I played little fantasy games mostly by myself at primary and junior school, eventually adopting an animal-based fantasy based on 'The Leopard from Lime Street', a UK comic with strong Spiderman parallels.
At university, I found the Usenet group alt.fan.furry which was very quiet at the time and mostly consisted of announcements of Furry Parties in the US. I subscribed because I liked the name, but I thought it was a heavy metal band. Eventually I asked the channel what it was about and... I think Jimmy Chin responded explaining it and mentioning the Tezuka FTP site.
From there I joined FurryMuck and developed my huge 10' non-taking quadruped otter character, playing him until I married when my current badger character rose to prominence, and then my wife didn't like me RPing so I stopped on the muds.
My characters mostly represent a mixture of aspirational and perceived personality, skills, and lifestyle qualities. I draw a bit, though I rarely manage to get beyond sketches these days.
I originally came here because I was trying to draw and thought I may as well share what I drew in case someone else liked it too. Then I thought I might learn from the real artists. Then I started commissioning.
Of late I'm using AI to generate art because commissioning... I don't like the term 'feral' because that refers to domestic animals gone wild, and none of my characters are domestic species: they're standing-upright animals, like Beatrix Potter or Redwall. I prefer theriomorphic or 'therio'. Anyway, commissioning therio art only works 50% of the time, and I find the emotional effort of telling an otherwise highly skilled artist that they've completely bogged up my character when any idiot with a photograph of a badger could point out the errors, and why as a so-called artist can't they see that without insultingly trying to pass off their pathetically (but beautifully rendered) off-model image and now I have to summon the balance between asking how they thought they'd think it was acceptable, being polite because they already have my money and have already expended their effort... to tell them to do it all over again because they ignored my requirement for sending WIPs... it's emotionally draining and very stressful.
The main problem with AI art - as a consumer - is that of the nets which can draw a decent badger, none are able to decorate the borders of my badger's stripes with gold fur because it's like nothing they've trained on, and at the moment the in-painting tools I'm aware of aren't detailed enough to let me delete the borders accurately.
Unfortunately, it's so easy - currently with Bing - to churn out photographic level images which give me enough of a dopamine hit to make me press the button again, I'm like those experimental rats with the pleasure button. It's very distracting but very compelling - especially when I only give myself £50 per month to buy art.
I hang out on here, mostly reading journals and looking at art from or favourited by folks who favourite my stuff, and picking up new artists to watch. And entering raffles if I think they might be good at therio art.
I had no idea you were such a veteran in the community, although the age of your account should have clued me in.
It is very illuminating to learn how people from different walks of life and generations have come to coexist together under this big umbrella.
I have also only just learned of the plethora of negative experiences you've had with commissioning artists.
Your frustration is very understandable. It's a painful and tragic circumstance that the bespoke art market on FA includes so many people who try to turn their artwork into a standalone, sole income career while lacking the internal and circumstantial resources to qualify, and so many commissioning customers whose tight budgets turn every botched art into a bitter experience, the likes of which add up over time into a lasting feeling of resentment and heartbreak.
The early days of the fandom were more chaotic and disorganized, but at least most artists were enthusiastic hobbyists and not burnt out freelancers fighting depression and poverty. Maybe it's just the furry community catching up to the current rough state of the world.
Anyway, I'm wishing you the strength and energy to keep going in these dark times!
It's very heartening to know you still remember your early creative passions, and that you have kept them alive!
I heard a Numberphile podcast from a leading number theorist expressing some very familiar fears and anxieties recently, so that's something I should take to heart.
It's good to have access to a community of people who appreciate the same things you do, where you can share your feelings and thoughts.
I'm not familiar with that podcast -- what were those expressed fears and anxieties about?
I think it's all exhaustion and stress for me at the moment - a project at work that we expected to take a few weeks stretched over 1 quarter, and then foundered with the original team asking for it saying they were surprised we took it. Pretty much a study in having to research everything and falling into all the available holes.
I hope you have ample opportunities for taking a restorative stroll when you can.
And I wish such frustrating miscommunications and snags wouldn't haunt your work in the future, near or far.
I'm sorry you've had so much trouble with therio art. (I also don't like calling myself 'feral' since coatis probably could be domesticated but haven't really.) I've been fortunate to not have serious problems, for the most part. But I am helped that a coati can stand and even run on hind legs for a short time, so getting a bit anthro isn't necessarily wrong. If you'd like I'd be glad to pass on recommendations when I find someone who really, really gets quadruped bodies just right.
At the moment I'm overworking and watching YouTube and other TV after putting the kids to bed, so I'm still not drawing much, but at least some's getting done now and again.
The main irritation with drawing is that I don't seem to be able to get beyond the level I'm currently doing - even when I shade and colour. I probably just need to get into copying photographs and other images I like.
It's the skull structure the artists bog up mostly. Making a badger look like a coati with eyes too far back, concave muzzle bridge, etc. (Nothing wrong with coatis, of course! Just they're not badgers. :)