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I don't know what to put here
2 years ago
Earlier today I was cooking food, and heard a thump. Thought it was my brother, cause I heard his chair move in his room shortly after. He was getting up, and went back to my father's bedroom. Something had happened.
We all 3 came in, my dad on the floor. He'd fallen, but his expression wasn't right. It wasn't jovial, it wasn't anger, it wasn't pain. It was something else. It was confusion, disbelief, and fear.
I tried to help him to his side, lay down as he was against the wall, face out and disoriented. I ran for a phone, my brother said he had one, I said dial 911.
I went back to my dad, still looking oddly at him, trying to figure out the issue. I asked him to count my finger, 4, he said four. There was something clearly wrong. He wasn't moving much, the right side of his body not working. His right arm was limp, he wasn't using it. He didn't vocalize much, just continued with that confused 'out of it' look. I laid him down, my brother called Ems. He kept reaching with his left hand to keep putting on his shorts, I held the hand and told him to relax and lay back, that's not important now. You're alright, there's much bigger things to worry about.
I called out a stroke, he stroked and fell over, we found him on the ground. He was initially simply communicative, but that faded fast. i checked a pulse, put my ear to his chest, making sure those were all working. I wasn't counting, I was feeling for abnormalities. Fast heart rate, adrenaline from the fall, and didn't hear anything off on the chest.
I held his hand, at this point there was no blood, no obvious injury to tend do. He started to fade, losing consciousness. Only thing I could do at that point was make sure he was still breathing. Called my mother, his wife to try and get a list of things medical to the arriving EMS.
EMS arrived, came in and hooked up the monitoring machines. O2 good, heartbeat present, Ems didn't see anything to be alarmed. Told them he'd collapsed before, cause undetermined in the past. They did say something about pre-diabetic, so we relayed it may be blood sugar based, he checked and I don't remember the test results, just that there was no action taken nor nothing said about it. I cleared out, EMS has this, stepping into a corner to be out of the way. He was taken into the ambulance, my mother, his wife, on the phone talking to EMS.
At the hospital, on a breather machine. My sister was there, watching and relaying out information.
Scans, xray and the like.
Cerebral trauma, stroke, his brain is disconnected from the spinal colomn, due to the fall or stroke. He's still alive, but this is a fatal injury. Those who are at the hospital confirmed to put a vent in to relieve cranial pressure.
He's... 'dead'. A fatal injury.
I'm sad. I love him and... understand that even as he's still alive. He's 'dead'.
8 hours since it happened. Will have to see if he lives through the night. After that... He's still dead.
We all 3 came in, my dad on the floor. He'd fallen, but his expression wasn't right. It wasn't jovial, it wasn't anger, it wasn't pain. It was something else. It was confusion, disbelief, and fear.
I tried to help him to his side, lay down as he was against the wall, face out and disoriented. I ran for a phone, my brother said he had one, I said dial 911.
I went back to my dad, still looking oddly at him, trying to figure out the issue. I asked him to count my finger, 4, he said four. There was something clearly wrong. He wasn't moving much, the right side of his body not working. His right arm was limp, he wasn't using it. He didn't vocalize much, just continued with that confused 'out of it' look. I laid him down, my brother called Ems. He kept reaching with his left hand to keep putting on his shorts, I held the hand and told him to relax and lay back, that's not important now. You're alright, there's much bigger things to worry about.
I called out a stroke, he stroked and fell over, we found him on the ground. He was initially simply communicative, but that faded fast. i checked a pulse, put my ear to his chest, making sure those were all working. I wasn't counting, I was feeling for abnormalities. Fast heart rate, adrenaline from the fall, and didn't hear anything off on the chest.
I held his hand, at this point there was no blood, no obvious injury to tend do. He started to fade, losing consciousness. Only thing I could do at that point was make sure he was still breathing. Called my mother, his wife to try and get a list of things medical to the arriving EMS.
EMS arrived, came in and hooked up the monitoring machines. O2 good, heartbeat present, Ems didn't see anything to be alarmed. Told them he'd collapsed before, cause undetermined in the past. They did say something about pre-diabetic, so we relayed it may be blood sugar based, he checked and I don't remember the test results, just that there was no action taken nor nothing said about it. I cleared out, EMS has this, stepping into a corner to be out of the way. He was taken into the ambulance, my mother, his wife, on the phone talking to EMS.
At the hospital, on a breather machine. My sister was there, watching and relaying out information.
Scans, xray and the like.
Cerebral trauma, stroke, his brain is disconnected from the spinal colomn, due to the fall or stroke. He's still alive, but this is a fatal injury. Those who are at the hospital confirmed to put a vent in to relieve cranial pressure.
He's... 'dead'. A fatal injury.
I'm sad. I love him and... understand that even as he's still alive. He's 'dead'.
8 hours since it happened. Will have to see if he lives through the night. After that... He's still dead.
For it to not be something more, immediate, to take him away makes my heart hurt. Having to wait for it to actually be over.
*hugs*
It's so heart breaking when it's nothing you have power over. Nothing you can blame. Nothing you can control. Nothing you can fix. But none of this is you.
It's going to hurt. You're going to be angry and that's okay.
Don't blame yourself. Enjoy what you can. Remember what was great about him. The man you grew up loving. He didn't raise you just to be sad.
Take your time to process and to heal. Spend time with loved ones. We can all wait.
Best of love
I used to be a paramedic. You did everything you could, exactly right: you recognized the problem and called for help right away. He got the best care he could have, as quickly as it could have been given.