FA+
Shop
Checking in- Surgery, life news, questions, and art
2 years ago
Hey guys, I'm still here and I apologize that art has been paused for a bit... my body's still falling apart.
They narrowed part of it down (for when I couldn't walk at all a while back) and part of my spinal problems down to having degenerative disk disease...
EDIT: They found that a disk has also ruptured entirely. :(
̶I̶'̶l̶l̶ ̶b̶e̶ ̶g̶e̶t̶t̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶s̶u̶r̶g̶e̶r̶y̶ ̶t̶o̶d̶a̶y̶ ̶(̶i̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶r̶e̶e̶ ̶h̶o̶u̶r̶s̶,̶ ̶h̶a̶h̶a̶h̶a̶,̶ ̶I̶'̶m̶ ̶t̶e̶r̶r̶i̶f̶i̶e̶d̶.̶.̶.̶ ) (( SEE EDIT: Surgery postponed )) to see if they can relieve some of the pain- and more importantly, hopefully relieve some of the pressure on a disk in my spine that's apparently crushed/done something to one of my nerves that has made my entire leg and foot numb to the point I can't feel it. I haven't been able to feel my foot in many months. It will hopefully, perhaps, relieve some of that and... be a possible miracle if I can feel it again. Its weird having a body part that's there but you completely can't feel it. I have phantom pains in my shoulder where I'm missing a good part of it from being sawed off from the road in a car wreck- but this is completely like weird reversal of it! Such a weird thing. I walk strangely from it too, feeling self conscious.
I'm hoping I'll be able to draw again then, be able to sit up at my desk and actually work. I've very rarely been able to do doodles here and there when I can manage... and I don't know if its worth posting them. My confidence has been so low I haven't felt like anyone would want to see them... normal stuff, soft chonk stuff... would it even be worth posting anywhere? I have no idea, ahaa...
In other news, a family member decided to drive my car and as my horrible luck would have it, she ran it into a parked truck at high speed and basically ripped the front end nearly split in half. Yes I was in the passenger seat and got roughed up more. My PTSD is back in full swing and I absolutely need to see a psychiatrist/psychologist (I apologize as I get the two terms mixed up) sometime soon. I need it. I'm just scared of any kind of "exposure therapy" and never in my life want to deal with that method again. So its scary trying to find one, but I need it.
I really need to make sure I get everyone's commissions finished before I can be able to start scraping up what I can to be able to pay medical bills and eventually a car. But I cannot do any new sets before I finish what I owe. It'd never be fair and I cannot do such a thing. Those who have been so patient with me while my body and life has fallen apart... You're true angels. I cannot feel lucky enough to have such good clients, you're all saints, and I'm so grateful.
I'll try to send everyone notes soon about making sure if anyone wants any changes whatsoever on what they might want on their commission slots. I appreciate you angels so much. I'll send out notes soon.
̶S̶o̶ ̶I̶'̶l̶l̶ ̶g̶e̶t̶ ̶r̶e̶a̶d̶y̶ ̶n̶o̶w̶,̶ ̶i̶t̶s̶ ̶d̶o̶w̶n̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶t̶w̶o̶ ̶h̶o̶u̶r̶s̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶g̶o̶ ̶n̶o̶w̶ ̶n̶e̶a̶r̶l̶y̶.̶ ̶L̶e̶t̶s̶ ̶h̶o̶p̶e̶ ̶r̶e̶c̶o̶v̶e̶r̶y̶ ̶w̶o̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶b̶e̶ ̶t̶e̶r̶r̶i̶b̶l̶e̶.̶ [[SEE EDIT: surgery postponed ]]
I appreciate all of you. Hopefully if the pain is gone soon, there will finally be art again. I want to create. DESPERATELY need to create again.
I hope you are all well. And thank all of you. I'll be back soon. 🤍
EDIT: The surgery is postponed by a bit because of equipment setup and holiday now. But it will probably be within a short time (next week or into the second week. This was a surprise shock to me. So I guess I have another week of being crunchy and agonized and they said the disk ruptured now so... Oh boy.
They narrowed part of it down (for when I couldn't walk at all a while back) and part of my spinal problems down to having degenerative disk disease...
EDIT: They found that a disk has also ruptured entirely. :(
̶I̶'̶l̶l̶ ̶b̶e̶ ̶g̶e̶t̶t̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶s̶u̶r̶g̶e̶r̶y̶ ̶t̶o̶d̶a̶y̶ ̶(̶i̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶r̶e̶e̶ ̶h̶o̶u̶r̶s̶,̶ ̶h̶a̶h̶a̶h̶a̶,̶ ̶I̶'̶m̶ ̶t̶e̶r̶r̶i̶f̶i̶e̶d̶.̶.̶.̶ ) (( SEE EDIT: Surgery postponed )) to see if they can relieve some of the pain- and more importantly, hopefully relieve some of the pressure on a disk in my spine that's apparently crushed/done something to one of my nerves that has made my entire leg and foot numb to the point I can't feel it. I haven't been able to feel my foot in many months. It will hopefully, perhaps, relieve some of that and... be a possible miracle if I can feel it again. Its weird having a body part that's there but you completely can't feel it. I have phantom pains in my shoulder where I'm missing a good part of it from being sawed off from the road in a car wreck- but this is completely like weird reversal of it! Such a weird thing. I walk strangely from it too, feeling self conscious.
I'm hoping I'll be able to draw again then, be able to sit up at my desk and actually work. I've very rarely been able to do doodles here and there when I can manage... and I don't know if its worth posting them. My confidence has been so low I haven't felt like anyone would want to see them... normal stuff, soft chonk stuff... would it even be worth posting anywhere? I have no idea, ahaa...
In other news, a family member decided to drive my car and as my horrible luck would have it, she ran it into a parked truck at high speed and basically ripped the front end nearly split in half. Yes I was in the passenger seat and got roughed up more. My PTSD is back in full swing and I absolutely need to see a psychiatrist/psychologist (I apologize as I get the two terms mixed up) sometime soon. I need it. I'm just scared of any kind of "exposure therapy" and never in my life want to deal with that method again. So its scary trying to find one, but I need it.
I really need to make sure I get everyone's commissions finished before I can be able to start scraping up what I can to be able to pay medical bills and eventually a car. But I cannot do any new sets before I finish what I owe. It'd never be fair and I cannot do such a thing. Those who have been so patient with me while my body and life has fallen apart... You're true angels. I cannot feel lucky enough to have such good clients, you're all saints, and I'm so grateful.
I'll try to send everyone notes soon about making sure if anyone wants any changes whatsoever on what they might want on their commission slots. I appreciate you angels so much. I'll send out notes soon.
̶S̶o̶ ̶I̶'̶l̶l̶ ̶g̶e̶t̶ ̶r̶e̶a̶d̶y̶ ̶n̶o̶w̶,̶ ̶i̶t̶s̶ ̶d̶o̶w̶n̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶t̶w̶o̶ ̶h̶o̶u̶r̶s̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶g̶o̶ ̶n̶o̶w̶ ̶n̶e̶a̶r̶l̶y̶.̶ ̶L̶e̶t̶s̶ ̶h̶o̶p̶e̶ ̶r̶e̶c̶o̶v̶e̶r̶y̶ ̶w̶o̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶b̶e̶ ̶t̶e̶r̶r̶i̶b̶l̶e̶.̶ [[SEE EDIT: surgery postponed ]]
I appreciate all of you. Hopefully if the pain is gone soon, there will finally be art again. I want to create. DESPERATELY need to create again.
I hope you are all well. And thank all of you. I'll be back soon. 🤍
EDIT: The surgery is postponed by a bit because of equipment setup and holiday now. But it will probably be within a short time (next week or into the second week. This was a surprise shock to me. So I guess I have another week of being crunchy and agonized and they said the disk ruptured now so... Oh boy.
The same goes for if you can manage to hace some thrapy for the PTSD you are experiencing. I had some myself for some different kind of trauma and it really helped after going to a few sessions. I hope that also helps you out feel better knowing a bit how that kind of things feels from a bit of a diffrent kind of experience.
But do take care, but I really would say if you want to show the things you made, even if you don't think they aren't nice enough to post it would be rpetty nice to see some of your drawing again. It has been a bit after all and beside it can't hurt to put something out there from time to time.