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Freedumb.. uh “Freedom” Of The Press
2 years ago
Skit written for performance at the Kadeko Cabaret, Weimar Germany, about 1926. Commentary on how certain Berlin newspapers would report the minor incident of a collision between a bicycle and a dog-
The optimistically liberal Berliner Tagebatt claimed that ‘dog and bicyclist race along the Kurfurstendamn, they hurry- despite a little scratch here and there- towards the brilliant future of the German republic.’
The pessimistically liberal Vossische Zeitung complained that the appearance of red blood on a black dog with white spots turned the incident into an expression of reactionary politics; it called for more laws to defend the republic.
The nationalist Likal-Anzeiger claimed that ‘a foreign bicyclist ran over the dog of retired general. Fifteen years ago the German people would have stood up as one body and would have swept the bicycist away with ringing manly fury, but today our faithful dogs lie limply on the ground, shattered by the Treaty of Versailles.’
The Communist Rote Fahne reported: ‘On the Kurfurstendamn, that pompous boulevard of satiated capitalism, on which the proletarian revolution will march against the imperialists in the very near future, a dog attacked a simple proletarian bicyclist!!!!!! That’s how it starts! First one dog attacks a single bicyclist, then all dogs unite against the Soviet Union!’
And, finally, the Nazi Volkischer Beobachter asserted: ‘Once more one of our party comrades has been attacked from behind in the dark of the night by a bow-legged, flat-footed dachshund. Bow-legged- that betrays the true race of those eastern Jewish pets, with their sagging ears and curls, who suck the marrow of our countrymen and steal the bones from under the noses of our German Shepards. Tomorrow, our Fuhrer Adolf Hitler will speak in the sports palace about this national affair. Party comrades should appear in simple battle dress, with hand grenades and flamethrowers.’
-Attributed to a satirist named Robitschek.
What is Truth? the Pilate asked The Savior
The optimistically liberal Berliner Tagebatt claimed that ‘dog and bicyclist race along the Kurfurstendamn, they hurry- despite a little scratch here and there- towards the brilliant future of the German republic.’
The pessimistically liberal Vossische Zeitung complained that the appearance of red blood on a black dog with white spots turned the incident into an expression of reactionary politics; it called for more laws to defend the republic.
The nationalist Likal-Anzeiger claimed that ‘a foreign bicyclist ran over the dog of retired general. Fifteen years ago the German people would have stood up as one body and would have swept the bicycist away with ringing manly fury, but today our faithful dogs lie limply on the ground, shattered by the Treaty of Versailles.’
The Communist Rote Fahne reported: ‘On the Kurfurstendamn, that pompous boulevard of satiated capitalism, on which the proletarian revolution will march against the imperialists in the very near future, a dog attacked a simple proletarian bicyclist!!!!!! That’s how it starts! First one dog attacks a single bicyclist, then all dogs unite against the Soviet Union!’
And, finally, the Nazi Volkischer Beobachter asserted: ‘Once more one of our party comrades has been attacked from behind in the dark of the night by a bow-legged, flat-footed dachshund. Bow-legged- that betrays the true race of those eastern Jewish pets, with their sagging ears and curls, who suck the marrow of our countrymen and steal the bones from under the noses of our German Shepards. Tomorrow, our Fuhrer Adolf Hitler will speak in the sports palace about this national affair. Party comrades should appear in simple battle dress, with hand grenades and flamethrowers.’
-Attributed to a satirist named Robitschek.
What is Truth? the Pilate asked The Savior
And that one special source that tells you what you want to hear? That one's the straight dope, of course.
The tragedy is how so many so-called intelligent adult people are willing to destroy themselves defending a lie.
All we need now is for some joker to try and bring back Prohibition.