I know nobody reads these but for once I am going to say I'm not doing well. I'm rather scared of the future and now being in pain. My current work has given me ptsd from the things I've seen and the people I had to watch pass. I don't feel that spark to be funny and make loads of art or be the silly guy I use to be. Now I'm just tired and want to cry all the time. I just shut myself away more than I did when I was at school and still have to go back to finish as well.

It's like a weight that is always on me and I can't see if things would get better or I am just going to fail and break. Even feeling this why I still try to give others the best version of me and brighten their day so they don't feel like I do.

I'm just so tired.