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off to a great start (not)
2 years ago
Take a gander if you dare
Before 2024, I said to myself, "keep your expectations low. 2023 wasn't really your biggest year, so hopefully if you play your cards right, you won't be disappointed with how 2024 will turn out."
I was wrong.
Right around the end of December some so-called ex-mutual (and I use the term "mutual" very loosely because from my perspective, that word disgusts me to no end) made a FULL-BLOWN DOCUMENT about me, which included heinous stuff I did in the past (stuff I refuse to mention, or if you're one of those folks who read the document you already know what they are) , from top to bottom, he gathered every bit of information they found, from images to screenshots, EVERYTHING, and then proceeded to post it all to Twitter. And the worst part was, almost EVERYBODY I KNEW read the whole fucking thing, and then all of a sudden they immediately turned against me, JUST like that. I lost followers, my posts begin to get spammed with the link to the document, meme images and nasty comments telling me to leave the Internet, most of which I have blocked. I couldn't use ANY kind of site without some jackoff appearing every two hours and shoving that goddamn document in my presence, while also misgendering me completely on purpose. I almost came CLOSE to being doxxed on Twitter when I told someone off for trying to expose me on one of my drawings. I couldn't take any more of it so I had to relocate to Discord and Bluesky until the nonsense died down, which was damn near impossible since the Internet is pretty much full of people trying to cancel you for stuff you did years ago.
And to add insult to injury, one person from twitter dm'ed on discord to tell me that they wanted full custody of my characters after I decide to leave the Internet for good. I told them no, and when they wouldn't get off my case, I had to block them. I then found out soon after hearing from a mutual that people on Twitter were trying to claim one of my Pokemon characters for themselves, and I was just about ready to blow my top. These people wanted me gone SO bad that now they'll resort even STEALING MY OWN CHARACTERS AWAY FROM ME. And all because of one. Fucking. Google. Document.
Now I will admit what I did was horribly, horribly wrong beyond all comprehension. There was so much I've done that I still think about and physically CRINGE to this very day and I wish I could take it all back if I could. That much I can say.
But now I'm really starting to question the general moral of all the people who've broken away from because of what I did. On one hand I'm aware that this is the Internet and that not everyone on it is as genuine as they seem, but on the other hand it's kinda hypocritically insane how a good chunk of those people think they're doing the right thing by exposing someone, only to turn around and do something even more horrible right behind their back, and even THEN, people will still applaud them.
When you get right down to it, the internet really is that awful of a place to to be in. Double crossers, doxxers, pedos, fake friends, etc., it's just one big bad influence.
But somehow, for SOME reason, we're all still so dependent on it to the point where without it, we'd all suffocate. It's really sad.
Anyways long story short, what a great start to 2024. I thought 2023 was godawful in terms of activity, but I guess the worst was already ahead of me as soon as 2024 started.
Okay thanks for reading.
I was wrong.
Right around the end of December some so-called ex-mutual (and I use the term "mutual" very loosely because from my perspective, that word disgusts me to no end) made a FULL-BLOWN DOCUMENT about me, which included heinous stuff I did in the past (stuff I refuse to mention, or if you're one of those folks who read the document you already know what they are) , from top to bottom, he gathered every bit of information they found, from images to screenshots, EVERYTHING, and then proceeded to post it all to Twitter. And the worst part was, almost EVERYBODY I KNEW read the whole fucking thing, and then all of a sudden they immediately turned against me, JUST like that. I lost followers, my posts begin to get spammed with the link to the document, meme images and nasty comments telling me to leave the Internet, most of which I have blocked. I couldn't use ANY kind of site without some jackoff appearing every two hours and shoving that goddamn document in my presence, while also misgendering me completely on purpose. I almost came CLOSE to being doxxed on Twitter when I told someone off for trying to expose me on one of my drawings. I couldn't take any more of it so I had to relocate to Discord and Bluesky until the nonsense died down, which was damn near impossible since the Internet is pretty much full of people trying to cancel you for stuff you did years ago.
And to add insult to injury, one person from twitter dm'ed on discord to tell me that they wanted full custody of my characters after I decide to leave the Internet for good. I told them no, and when they wouldn't get off my case, I had to block them. I then found out soon after hearing from a mutual that people on Twitter were trying to claim one of my Pokemon characters for themselves, and I was just about ready to blow my top. These people wanted me gone SO bad that now they'll resort even STEALING MY OWN CHARACTERS AWAY FROM ME. And all because of one. Fucking. Google. Document.
Now I will admit what I did was horribly, horribly wrong beyond all comprehension. There was so much I've done that I still think about and physically CRINGE to this very day and I wish I could take it all back if I could. That much I can say.
But now I'm really starting to question the general moral of all the people who've broken away from because of what I did. On one hand I'm aware that this is the Internet and that not everyone on it is as genuine as they seem, but on the other hand it's kinda hypocritically insane how a good chunk of those people think they're doing the right thing by exposing someone, only to turn around and do something even more horrible right behind their back, and even THEN, people will still applaud them.
When you get right down to it, the internet really is that awful of a place to to be in. Double crossers, doxxers, pedos, fake friends, etc., it's just one big bad influence.
But somehow, for SOME reason, we're all still so dependent on it to the point where without it, we'd all suffocate. It's really sad.
Anyways long story short, what a great start to 2024. I thought 2023 was godawful in terms of activity, but I guess the worst was already ahead of me as soon as 2024 started.
Okay thanks for reading.
I'm sorry your 2024 is off to a bad start... but perhaps this may help you see the face behind the mask of some of these people. The opportunity to see those who really are your friends, and are willing to hear you out, listen to your side, and help you move past this... and those that can be swayed by a mere document intentionally distributed with the intention to harm you.
I wish you all the best of luck in sorting through this, but know that I am not here to judge you, I am here to appreciate your art, and I will continue to do so.
Our past may define us but it should not bind us.
Change is hard universally, whether that means changing ourselves or how we view/see someone else. Some people refuse to change how they see whatever efforts or troubles someone is going through just to move forward in life and grow, and that's a terrible pill to swallow because it can feel like it's as if we're being dragged right back down when we're trying to go up and heal. Some find satisfaction or comfort in opening wounds for others, and sadly it is our responsibility to bare that burden of history when they decide to weaponize it at us. They may choose to spend their time seeking to harm us but our time must be spent seeking to heal ourselves.
But...punishment is over. So long as you continue to strive to do good by yourself and others, atonement is where you are and shall be regardless how many wish to focus and only focus on the past. People can say whatever they want and try to speak ill of you. Hell, I found a forum the other week of people devoted to just talking about how much I don't deserve support and am a brain damaged idiot. But it doesn't matter. It's their business to hate, and it's my business to continue bettering myself and doing what makes me happy regardless of what my past holds.
You're not alone in this, and though a single opinion may not hold great weight, know that not everyone, stranger or otherwise, moves against you. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed and in a corner, come and message me sometimes. If there's one thing you can't say now, it's that no one cares about how you feel or wants to be there for you.
Wish you the best of luck this year