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A talk about Commissioning and Vanity
a year ago
Hello, everyone! I hope that you are having a nice day!
I believe that the subject that I'm going to discuss is rather important, because I believe that I have something of a problem that I've had since I started being a commissioner back in 2015. I think it started slowly, and I've only realized it a few years later.
A friend of mine once told me that what we commission is both something we like and something that could be considered our objects of vanity, and I'll admit that later down the line I've begun to become rather vain and/or egotistical (whatever is the correct term) because of what my commissioned works have brought me.
Like people who watch me, people who view my commissioned artwork. The favorites and the comments giving me praise. Reaching 1000, or 2000 and currently 3000 milestones of watchers. All in all, it has given me a sense of pride and feeling like I'm someone important.
Those things brought in some of my negative traits and habits. If what I commissioned gets a low amount of viewership and/or favorites, I feel insulted. I ask myself a variety of questions like: What's wrong with it? Why isn't it getting enough attention? Is it not good enough? It should be sexy enough!
And not just that, I could also become somewhat vindictive to I consider a slight, like if someone unwatches me and if someone who I know of doesn't give me a favorite of my submission/s. And not just that. Sometimes I think I'm hurting myself financially just to satiate my vanity. Like what happens if I don't commission enough artwork? I feel like I'll be forgotten and people won't give the attention and praise that I feel like I deserve.
Those are just to name a few, and I don't think it's really given me much happiness, and it all probably is a reason why I can be so burnt out when it comes to commissions. Like if my commissioned work won't get enough attention, I feel like it was worth nothing and I ask myself what's the point of it all.
Since late 2023, I have come to accept that I should not let my pride and vanity get the better of me. Because at the end of the day, I'm just a guy who is sharing my commissioned works with everyone. I'm no one important, but I am not worthless and so are my submissions. I should commission artwork just because I love the ideas that pop in my head and I should appreciate the fact that, even though my uploads won't get hundreds of favorites, some people ARE paying attention to them (and even one favorite and one kind word is worth hundreds). And if people unwatch me and/or not give me favorites, then it is their choice. I should respect their decision and not groan about it.
And in terms of finance, I shouldn't just rapidly commission several commissions every month with what money I have out of fear of irrelevance if I don't appease the algorithm. I do it after carefully planning my finances every month and if I really like the commission idea at the time, then I'll commission it and keep things slow.
Which brings me to a related subject: I like to apologize in advance for my friends and acquaintances if this is bothers you, but because I want to try and take commissions slowly from now on, that means that I cannot guarantee that I will be able to collaborate with a shared commission with all of you. Some will be chosen and some will not. I'm terribly sorry for any disappointment and any offense. And I am sorry if any bad behavior was displayed and if I hurt anybody.
That is all I have to say. Thank you so much for listening, and any kindness and advice/suggestions you might bring. Take care, have an awsum day and may you all have a nice 2024!
I believe that the subject that I'm going to discuss is rather important, because I believe that I have something of a problem that I've had since I started being a commissioner back in 2015. I think it started slowly, and I've only realized it a few years later.
A friend of mine once told me that what we commission is both something we like and something that could be considered our objects of vanity, and I'll admit that later down the line I've begun to become rather vain and/or egotistical (whatever is the correct term) because of what my commissioned works have brought me.
Like people who watch me, people who view my commissioned artwork. The favorites and the comments giving me praise. Reaching 1000, or 2000 and currently 3000 milestones of watchers. All in all, it has given me a sense of pride and feeling like I'm someone important.
Those things brought in some of my negative traits and habits. If what I commissioned gets a low amount of viewership and/or favorites, I feel insulted. I ask myself a variety of questions like: What's wrong with it? Why isn't it getting enough attention? Is it not good enough? It should be sexy enough!
And not just that, I could also become somewhat vindictive to I consider a slight, like if someone unwatches me and if someone who I know of doesn't give me a favorite of my submission/s. And not just that. Sometimes I think I'm hurting myself financially just to satiate my vanity. Like what happens if I don't commission enough artwork? I feel like I'll be forgotten and people won't give the attention and praise that I feel like I deserve.
Those are just to name a few, and I don't think it's really given me much happiness, and it all probably is a reason why I can be so burnt out when it comes to commissions. Like if my commissioned work won't get enough attention, I feel like it was worth nothing and I ask myself what's the point of it all.
Since late 2023, I have come to accept that I should not let my pride and vanity get the better of me. Because at the end of the day, I'm just a guy who is sharing my commissioned works with everyone. I'm no one important, but I am not worthless and so are my submissions. I should commission artwork just because I love the ideas that pop in my head and I should appreciate the fact that, even though my uploads won't get hundreds of favorites, some people ARE paying attention to them (and even one favorite and one kind word is worth hundreds). And if people unwatch me and/or not give me favorites, then it is their choice. I should respect their decision and not groan about it.
And in terms of finance, I shouldn't just rapidly commission several commissions every month with what money I have out of fear of irrelevance if I don't appease the algorithm. I do it after carefully planning my finances every month and if I really like the commission idea at the time, then I'll commission it and keep things slow.
Which brings me to a related subject: I like to apologize in advance for my friends and acquaintances if this is bothers you, but because I want to try and take commissions slowly from now on, that means that I cannot guarantee that I will be able to collaborate with a shared commission with all of you. Some will be chosen and some will not. I'm terribly sorry for any disappointment and any offense. And I am sorry if any bad behavior was displayed and if I hurt anybody.
That is all I have to say. Thank you so much for listening, and any kindness and advice/suggestions you might bring. Take care, have an awsum day and may you all have a nice 2024!
It took a bit of time for me to work on myself regarding commissions, until I managed to just... Not really caring about what people say about what I commission. Of course, faves, watches and comments are always appreciated, but now, I just commission stuff that I like, from artists that I like and that's all, regardless of how success it can be. Plus, sometimes you can get positively surprised by how a picture is liked !
I know it's way easier said than done, but being aware of that feeling regarding commissions like you are is already a huge step ahead, and I'm sure you'll manage to find balance for your commissions. Have a great day !
Thank you for your words. You have a great day, too!
And the point is to enjoy art, you as a commissioner for yourself, and also me as an artist. Not for the others. It is hard, but we are learning everyday and the most important thing is we acknowledge the issue.
Take care, and enjoy the creations of your ideas! ^^
Appreciate you opening up about it. It's been a slow learning curve to know the right balance.
However, I can give some advice. At one time, when I had to start all over again (maintain new social networks, abandon the old audience and communication), I also experienced a “hunger” for attention. A good substitute for this can be having several pages on different social networks. for example, DeviantArt allows you to “satiate” the desire to see more views, FA - feedback and communication, Twi - also retweets and feedback. And in this way you can “feed” yourself until this addiction passes. Then you will start to feel better
Also a good idea for the commission could be... gifts for friends! Then you will know for sure that your time, money and efforts were not in vain, because you were able to pay attention to someone close to you 🤲💕