Collecting stones
a year ago
Smart people understand that there is no such thing as paranoia. It is just another mask for ignorance. The Truth, when you finally chase it down, is almost always far worse than your darkest visions and fears.
Hunter S. Thompson
Hunter S. Thompson
There are days I want to toss the rope over that sturdy beam and take that step where I'll piss, not whistle. I'll see the rocks at my feet.
Those days come more frequently now. So I strangle them down and stuff them into an iron box I keep in my mind. Leave some rocks on the lid.
Pink Floyd said "The rusty wire that holds the cork that keeps the anger in, gives way and suddenly, it's day again". My wire wore thin long ago.
I'll feel so low sitting there on my throne of self-loathing stone. There's no light here. The jester waves his little stick at me, "you're just wallowing in your sorrows you simp, Pick up another rock."
If you keep picking up those stones and putting them in the bag you wear around your neck, eventually you'll sink.
Or you can pick up the larger stones. Setting them in place. Building up a bridge so that your feet don't get so wet. So that maybe people behind you can cross too.
It can't be THAT bad. It can't stay bad THIS long. It'll be LESS bad tomorrow. But I'm bent down looking at the rocks in the dark.
Foundations are laid when you decide you're not going to carry your sorrows around like sacks of gravel, anymore. You can build some stairs. You just need a little light to see what you're doing.
Those people around you, they are that light. And they're waiting for you to get your ass off that throne and drop that ballast.
Those days come more frequently now. So I strangle them down and stuff them into an iron box I keep in my mind. Leave some rocks on the lid.
Pink Floyd said "The rusty wire that holds the cork that keeps the anger in, gives way and suddenly, it's day again". My wire wore thin long ago.
I'll feel so low sitting there on my throne of self-loathing stone. There's no light here. The jester waves his little stick at me, "you're just wallowing in your sorrows you simp, Pick up another rock."
If you keep picking up those stones and putting them in the bag you wear around your neck, eventually you'll sink.
Or you can pick up the larger stones. Setting them in place. Building up a bridge so that your feet don't get so wet. So that maybe people behind you can cross too.
It can't be THAT bad. It can't stay bad THIS long. It'll be LESS bad tomorrow. But I'm bent down looking at the rocks in the dark.
Foundations are laid when you decide you're not going to carry your sorrows around like sacks of gravel, anymore. You can build some stairs. You just need a little light to see what you're doing.
Those people around you, they are that light. And they're waiting for you to get your ass off that throne and drop that ballast.
FA+

https://youtu.be/6uJoN_I9ebQ?si=tQSrVietD4KBM8XG
Never gamble on a fart, never pass a bathroom.
Genuinely think about and recite it nearly as often as I do the Litany Against Fear (which is frequent)
I hope you're holding strong man. I saw a few furry convention videos from the early 90s that I believe had you and some of the gang in them and got some good feels. And I'll try to keep in better touch through here or other methods if you like. Keep on truckin' Wolf, much love, cousin.
I'm not talking specifically about religion in this, though that's what most people think.
Worlds got lots of folks who'll drag you down (And keep you there if they can), and lots of folks who really help get through all the many challenges life has.
I've been where you are right now, and I lived through it.
More than once.
Call me if you need someone to talk to.
-Badger-
There's a difference between the buried and the planted
Candles and all prayers for those left stranded
No matter the cost
Despite the worst odds
There is a distance I must go
This moment is all that I control
All that I control is here and now