Hey everyone, it's been awhile since I last did an update. I am still around-ish. I mostly just get on here to look at comics I follow and favorite the occasional art I like. I don't expect anyone to read this all, but it helps me remember things that have happened. Please be warned that there are some triggering topics here such as injury, death, and suicidal thoughts. Here are some things that have happened:

Knee Injury- In June 2023 I somehow injured my left knee. It started hurting really bad after going swimming. It continued to hurt throughout our trip to Colorado for our anniversary. Finally after taking a fall due to it giving out on me I went to the doctor and had an MRI done. I found out that at some point I had torn my LCL and my meniscus. Unfortunately during the time between hurting my knee and having the MRI, my right knee had started to hurt so I had an MRI done on it later. The meniscus was torn in that knee as well. Since I had hurt the right knee more recently it was hurting worse than the left and finally on December 20th I had knee surgery. I went through 6 weeks of physical therapy and they deemed my knee good enough to release me from the program. The original plan was to get my right knee better so that I could have surgery on my left knee, but after having gone through the surgery with the right knee, I decided against it. The amount of pain wasn't worth it. So from now until the foreseeable future I walk with a pretty prominent limp and can't stand or walk for very long. Also while doing physical therapy they noticed that I am very knock-kneed and pidgeon-toed (I already knew this and was supposed to have braces on my legs as a kid but didn't). This is normally due to twisted hip, however my hips are aligned just fine, it's my shin bones that are rotated slightly which is causing my muscles to want to constantly pull my kneecap out of place. This can't really be fixed but I can try to strengthen the opposite muscle to try and counteract the pulling. I can only hope that it helps and maybe someday I will be able to do the things I love again.

Family Health- While Varaleo and I were in Colorado I got a call that my grandma was not doing well. She was rushed to the hospital where she was all but dead. We were trapped in Colorado at the time because while there Varaleo's Jeep blew the clutch so we were having to have it repaired. Thankfully though it got finished an hour or so after I got the call and so we were able to quickly pack up and we drove straight home. My grandma was stabilized and eventually moved to a nursing/rehab center where she got stronger and better. Later on she was released and went home. She did ok for a few months but then my grandpa fell and broke his leg, he also had sepsis and didn't know it. My grandma was unable to stay home alone so she went to stay with my mom while my grandpa was in the hospital. She was doing really good, she was actually starting to remember things, eat good, and get up and move around. At home all she did was sleep and eat snack foods. Her dementia was also getting really bad. Turns out that she was being given pills that didn't belong to her and so she was basically sedated all the time (that's something that I'm not going to get into here though...). After a few weeks of her staying with my mom, my grandpa was ready to get out of the hospital. My mom was supposed to pick him up and take him and my grandma back to their home in Oklahoma, however, my grandma fell the night before and broke multiple ribs on the edge of the bathtub. She was taken to the hospital where they found that she had had several past fractures to her ribs, as well as a previously broken back. These were probably from her multiple falls at home where she wouldn't go to the hospital to get checked out. Anyways, while in the hospital they discovered that she had air around her lungs, fluid in her lungs, and failing kidneys. She stayed in the hospital for awhile and then was sent to the nursing/rehab place again, where she still is currently. Unfortunately this time we don't think she will be released to go back home as she can no longer take care of herself and neither can my grandpa. I go to visit her once a week (except for the last two weeks because I was sick and then she had covid) and she seems to be doing alright, but is definitely not doing as good as we had hoped.

Mystery Package- A short time after Christmas, Varaleo and I received a couple of white boxes. They were slightly decorated life gift boxes and had address labels from Germany. Thinking it was some sort of gift we decided to open them. Inside each box was a round metal tin with a yellow ribbon tied around it. On the bottom was a label with our fursona names. Curious, I opened my box and was met with what seemed like dirt and mulch. I was instantly weirded out and closed it back up. I gave the tin a few shakes to see if I could feel something heavier in there. I could kind of feel something heavier hit the lid so I opened it again, and laying on top of the dirt/mulch was a large log of feces. That's when I knew it was not a nice gift and that someone had sent this to us with malicious intent. We still don't know who did this to us, but this was close to when my surgery was, and my grandma having to go back to the hospital. With everything else going on it really upset me and I will admit that I seriously considered "unaliving" myself. So if whoever did that is reading this right now, I just want to say, with all my heart and soul....Fuck You. I know that I have made some enemies in the recent past due to having to make some decisions involving local furs, but you never know what someone is going through at any moment and what you find funny may push someone over the edge. Just keep that in mind.

Goodbye Fae- On February 16th I said goodbye to my cat Fae. In October she had surgery to remove a mammary tumor. Upon biopsy they discovered that it was cancerous and had started to spread. I was told to keep an eye on her breathing because they were worried it would make it into her lungs. I came home after a weekend at Varaleo's and discovered that she hadn't eaten very much, which was very unlike her. She loved her food and would run to the food dispenser as soon as it would go off. Later that night I heard her coughing. I took her to the vet and they took x-rays of her lungs. Unfortunately they were very cloudy white and she had fluid in them. So they put her on an antibiotic and a steroid just in case it was just pneumonia or something. She was on it for about a week before I took her in for a checkup. She was still not really eating and didn't even want tuna, which she absolutely loved. It was at that vet visit that we decided to have her humanely euthanized. The vet agreed that it was time, as she was beginning to suffer and that it was more than likely the cancer. I now have her ashes in an urn, and she sits on the top shelf of my desk with Buddy. If there is any sort of afterlife, I really hope that her and Buddy have reunited and are happy.

I know it seems like all I have to talk about is bad things, but truthfully, really the only good thing is that I am alive, and those that hate me will say that that's not a good thing. I hope that in future updates I will have good things to talk about. Until then, I hope everyone is doing well.

Be kind to yourselves and each other.
Sheba