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Some Chipmunk Wisdom
a year ago
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My furry presence:
Fur Affinity: http://www.furaffinity.net/user/tamias6/
Devient Art: http://tamias6.deviantart.com/
Sofurry: https://tamiasthechipmunk.sofurry.com/
Weasyl: https://www.weasyl.com/~tamiasthechipmunk
Inkbunny: https://inkbunny.net/tamiasthechipmunk
Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/tamiasthec.....nk.bsky.social
Fur Affinity: http://www.furaffinity.net/user/tamias6/
Devient Art: http://tamias6.deviantart.com/
Sofurry: https://tamiasthechipmunk.sofurry.com/
Weasyl: https://www.weasyl.com/~tamiasthechipmunk
Inkbunny: https://inkbunny.net/tamiasthechipmunk
Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/tamiasthec.....nk.bsky.social
Another bit of Chipmunk Wisdom:
If you screwed up and you know you did, Its cold hard reality that it rides hard on your psyche. Its called gilt for a reason. I know because I am an imperfect person just like the rest of you. I come with my own set of flaws that slips through the cracks from time to time from my own self neglect, carelessness, too much hubris, or just plain stupidity. It should be deflating because that is how a healthy amount of guilt slaps you back to your senses so you can deal with the consequences your transgressions and flub-ups as best as you can.
However, I want you to take note that I used "a healthy amount of gilt " for a reason. Thing is when you screw up. You should feel some not so good feelings as I said. It should sting in an amount directly proportional to the severity of your f*ck ups. You SHOULD hold yourself accountable. You SHOULD be remorseful. But there is such a thing as going overboard to a point that you are actually harming yourself rather than learning lessons and doing better.
If you sit there and beat on yourself and tear yourself down when you screw up, that not doing what you should be doing. That is being an abuser. Though its not on somebody else. Its abuse to yourself. You don't learn lessons that way. You don't try patching things up that way. You are transgressing against yourself every time you beat yourself to a pulp for messing up. Its because abuse is abuse rather you do it to yourself or somebody else. I know this because one of my faults is being too hard on myself. I can say from first hand experience that all it does is make it harder to fess up and do what needs to be done to correct things and do better....and it makes it very difficult to take on challenges needed to expand horizons, learn lessons, make and keep friends, and be a better human being.
I'm not saying that when you do screw up to go "oh well" and go on. That's just dismissing the transgression and/or mistake and leaving behind the damage you did instead of doing what needs to be done to fix things. In short, that's a giant d*ck move only a douche canoes do.
Instead, you SHOULD acknowledge what you did. You SHOULD, take responsibility. You SHOULD be remorseful. You SHOULD put genuine effort into fixing things as best as you can. ...AND you should learn and apply the lessons you need to learn in being better and doing better. These are the only way to seek forgiveness from those that you've wronged and learn the hard lessons you need to learn in order to be a better person that does more right than wrong.
What I'm saying, folks, is something simple yet crucial. When you spend more time and energy beating on yourself to a point where you are absolutely miserable, pitiful, and in depressions from "punishing yourself", every time you make mistakes and transgress. That is NOT healing, neither for you nor for those you rubbed the wrong way. It leaves the transgressed asking themselves this: "Why should I forgive the transgressor if the transgressor cannot find it within there own heart to forgive their self?" Do spend a good amount of time thinking about that, people!
Bottom line is its not about making as little mistakes and transgressions as humanly possible. Though you should and MUST minimize those things as best as you can. What determines your integrity in the eyes of your peers and most of all those of the transgressed is how you bounce back from screwing up and how you go about making things right again.
If you screwed up and you know you did, Its cold hard reality that it rides hard on your psyche. Its called gilt for a reason. I know because I am an imperfect person just like the rest of you. I come with my own set of flaws that slips through the cracks from time to time from my own self neglect, carelessness, too much hubris, or just plain stupidity. It should be deflating because that is how a healthy amount of guilt slaps you back to your senses so you can deal with the consequences your transgressions and flub-ups as best as you can.
However, I want you to take note that I used "a healthy amount of gilt " for a reason. Thing is when you screw up. You should feel some not so good feelings as I said. It should sting in an amount directly proportional to the severity of your f*ck ups. You SHOULD hold yourself accountable. You SHOULD be remorseful. But there is such a thing as going overboard to a point that you are actually harming yourself rather than learning lessons and doing better.
If you sit there and beat on yourself and tear yourself down when you screw up, that not doing what you should be doing. That is being an abuser. Though its not on somebody else. Its abuse to yourself. You don't learn lessons that way. You don't try patching things up that way. You are transgressing against yourself every time you beat yourself to a pulp for messing up. Its because abuse is abuse rather you do it to yourself or somebody else. I know this because one of my faults is being too hard on myself. I can say from first hand experience that all it does is make it harder to fess up and do what needs to be done to correct things and do better....and it makes it very difficult to take on challenges needed to expand horizons, learn lessons, make and keep friends, and be a better human being.
I'm not saying that when you do screw up to go "oh well" and go on. That's just dismissing the transgression and/or mistake and leaving behind the damage you did instead of doing what needs to be done to fix things. In short, that's a giant d*ck move only a douche canoes do.
Instead, you SHOULD acknowledge what you did. You SHOULD, take responsibility. You SHOULD be remorseful. You SHOULD put genuine effort into fixing things as best as you can. ...AND you should learn and apply the lessons you need to learn in being better and doing better. These are the only way to seek forgiveness from those that you've wronged and learn the hard lessons you need to learn in order to be a better person that does more right than wrong.
What I'm saying, folks, is something simple yet crucial. When you spend more time and energy beating on yourself to a point where you are absolutely miserable, pitiful, and in depressions from "punishing yourself", every time you make mistakes and transgress. That is NOT healing, neither for you nor for those you rubbed the wrong way. It leaves the transgressed asking themselves this: "Why should I forgive the transgressor if the transgressor cannot find it within there own heart to forgive their self?" Do spend a good amount of time thinking about that, people!
Bottom line is its not about making as little mistakes and transgressions as humanly possible. Though you should and MUST minimize those things as best as you can. What determines your integrity in the eyes of your peers and most of all those of the transgressed is how you bounce back from screwing up and how you go about making things right again.
