Lot of dumb changes
a year ago
Personal:
Hi, I'm Rel. I'll still go by Stormy, so if you know me by that please don't worry, but if you would like to start using Rel in personal chatting that's cool too.
Rel is a large, handsome male vampire who was turned around the time that Rome was transitioning into an empire. He's navigated history and the world with his werewolf husband who he met shortly before the sacking of Rome by Hannibal. I'm pivoting into this character for a lot of reasons. Mostly to do with me finally accepting all of who I am (more info below). I will still be using Stormy as a character, however mostly in her feral and werewolf forms.
I don't really like saying "coming out", it seems a bit weird, cause it feels like this is who I always have been, I just kept trying to push it down. I still struggle with some of these identities - especially the gender one - and feel a little imposter-y, but here we go (sorry i know it's a lot). I am TransMasc, Demisexual, (mostly gay) Pan-romantic, Polyamorous, (mostly fantasy) hypersexual. If you have any questions I'll try my best to answer them.
I'm also grappling with getting through having multiple anxiety disorders, chronic depression, PTSD, ADHD, and there's a very real possibility I'm also autistic, but I need to be actually evaluated before I can say for sure. I'm mostly coming to terms with the fact that ADHD is actually a disability and that I was owed so much more help in my life if people (adults) wanted me to be a more productive member of society. So now I'm trying to play catch up to find resources for help. I may never be able to have a "real" job, but I would at the very least like to get back to doing what I can, like drawing, writing, making supplemental 5e (D&D) material, or making craft items to sell.
Art related:
The drive to want to draw and write and be creative is slowly coming back. I have motivation issues cause of the ADHD but I feel like my trauma surrounding creativeness is ebbing a bit. I'm slowly finding other creatives that want to talk about art or RP or writing stuff, and I'll continue to look for more people interested in these things. In my trying to get somewhat organized, I was gifted a ToyHouse account by a very lovely, generous friend. All of the character profiles I have listed in my Master List will be linked to ToyHouse character profiles over time. It's going to be a long process, I have over 120 characters, but I need them to be more organized than what FA can offer. My art isn't going anywhere, just the profiles are.
I'm thinking about deleting a lot of things in my scraps, though. I used to use scraps mostly for art I've gotten done by other people, as I wanted my main gallery to be my works and characters. But even of those artworks in scraps (and maybe some in my regular gallery) are of past friends and lovers that really just bring me pain to look at, so I will slowly be going through those and at least pulling them off FA. I'll always keep the files, they will always be important parts of my history, I just don't want them all over my gallery anymore.
I'm sorry if this is a lot, I feel like a lot has happened and the more that happens the more quiet I get. I'd like to not be, I'm just not good at communicating but I'll be trying my best to do what I can as I get more comfortable with just being me.
Hi, I'm Rel. I'll still go by Stormy, so if you know me by that please don't worry, but if you would like to start using Rel in personal chatting that's cool too.
Rel is a large, handsome male vampire who was turned around the time that Rome was transitioning into an empire. He's navigated history and the world with his werewolf husband who he met shortly before the sacking of Rome by Hannibal. I'm pivoting into this character for a lot of reasons. Mostly to do with me finally accepting all of who I am (more info below). I will still be using Stormy as a character, however mostly in her feral and werewolf forms.
I don't really like saying "coming out", it seems a bit weird, cause it feels like this is who I always have been, I just kept trying to push it down. I still struggle with some of these identities - especially the gender one - and feel a little imposter-y, but here we go (sorry i know it's a lot). I am TransMasc, Demisexual, (mostly gay) Pan-romantic, Polyamorous, (mostly fantasy) hypersexual. If you have any questions I'll try my best to answer them.
I'm also grappling with getting through having multiple anxiety disorders, chronic depression, PTSD, ADHD, and there's a very real possibility I'm also autistic, but I need to be actually evaluated before I can say for sure. I'm mostly coming to terms with the fact that ADHD is actually a disability and that I was owed so much more help in my life if people (adults) wanted me to be a more productive member of society. So now I'm trying to play catch up to find resources for help. I may never be able to have a "real" job, but I would at the very least like to get back to doing what I can, like drawing, writing, making supplemental 5e (D&D) material, or making craft items to sell.
Art related:
The drive to want to draw and write and be creative is slowly coming back. I have motivation issues cause of the ADHD but I feel like my trauma surrounding creativeness is ebbing a bit. I'm slowly finding other creatives that want to talk about art or RP or writing stuff, and I'll continue to look for more people interested in these things. In my trying to get somewhat organized, I was gifted a ToyHouse account by a very lovely, generous friend. All of the character profiles I have listed in my Master List will be linked to ToyHouse character profiles over time. It's going to be a long process, I have over 120 characters, but I need them to be more organized than what FA can offer. My art isn't going anywhere, just the profiles are.
I'm thinking about deleting a lot of things in my scraps, though. I used to use scraps mostly for art I've gotten done by other people, as I wanted my main gallery to be my works and characters. But even of those artworks in scraps (and maybe some in my regular gallery) are of past friends and lovers that really just bring me pain to look at, so I will slowly be going through those and at least pulling them off FA. I'll always keep the files, they will always be important parts of my history, I just don't want them all over my gallery anymore.
I'm sorry if this is a lot, I feel like a lot has happened and the more that happens the more quiet I get. I'd like to not be, I'm just not good at communicating but I'll be trying my best to do what I can as I get more comfortable with just being me.
You are seen, you are accepted, and coming to accept your truest identity is a long, challenging process of internal reflection and facing fears.
You are seen, you are valid. I wish you the best!
you are seen, and you are welcome.