Pile surgery's no fun
Lost the urge to pee and so
A catheter and in it goes
Drinking water by the ton
Laxatives and too aware
The bog's upstairs

OW OUCH
My poor starfish how it leaks
OW OUCH
Can't lift anything for weeks

Lying down brought slight relief
Doped up on co-codamol
Must go cold turkey come this fall
Then the blood flow hits my sheath
What the fuck brain, why this cack
When I can't fight back

OW OUCH
Getting stiffies in my sleep
OW OUCH
With this cockhole tube in deep
OW OUCH
Though the arse pain's gone away
OW OUCH
I still suffer every day

What a way to be alive
Inactive right hand's for the birds
I'll make up lost time, mark my words
Christ, I'm nearly fifty-five
My adrenals will be shot
I'll drain the lot

OW OUCH
My urethra best watch out
OW OUCH
Once that piss bag's not about
OW OUCH
In a muddled blurry zonk
OW OUCH
Swollen blisters there for yonks

I remember when eight hours was regular and good
But now this wood looks forward to give another crap time
In an hour's time
And I remember how I'd snooze, let my mind go on a cruise
Now I muse where'd I put the scissors
Won't miss us

Pile surgery's no fun
Lost the urge to pee and so
A catheter and in it goes
Drinking water by the ton
Laxatives and too aware
The bog's upstairs

OW OUCH
Getting stiffies in my sleep
OW OUCH
With this cockhole tube in deep
OW OUCH
Though the arse pain's gone away
OW OUCH
I still suffer every day

OW OUCH
OW OUCH

repeat until fade