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My Very Last Nerve
a year ago
I tell ya, lately its been a real struggle to keep some semblance of happiness. And tonight I'm able to pry myself away from depressing stuff, like current events, and the other nonsense that make me feel helpless and depressed. Find vids on youtube that uplift my spirit, get into an art piece I wanted to do, and feel a rare moment of calm and level headedness. And wouldn't you know it I forget about an item I had cooking and ruin an entire bag of Broccoli. Just completely ruined my mood. And now I'm just angsty and fuming. God, I hate my life.
Between the loneliness, failed attempts at dating. Watching my country fall apart around me, with seemingly no one trying to prevent it. And my God awful sleep schedule that sees most of the day wasted sleeping. And just being a loser sperg who cant socialize worth a damn with anyone under 65. With anyone outside the fandom I try to talk to it just seems like all they care about is sports and celebrities.
Its like I want to do shit with people, like actual active participation stuff. But my attention span is so fucked its hard to sit still and enjoy something.
The only thing I find satisfaction in other than art is my job. And I finish that for the day and just get depressed.
About 50% of my life is like this.
Between the loneliness, failed attempts at dating. Watching my country fall apart around me, with seemingly no one trying to prevent it. And my God awful sleep schedule that sees most of the day wasted sleeping. And just being a loser sperg who cant socialize worth a damn with anyone under 65. With anyone outside the fandom I try to talk to it just seems like all they care about is sports and celebrities.
Its like I want to do shit with people, like actual active participation stuff. But my attention span is so fucked its hard to sit still and enjoy something.
The only thing I find satisfaction in other than art is my job. And I finish that for the day and just get depressed.
About 50% of my life is like this.
The overall situation is bad and based from the experiences of people around me it is best to just close up within a circle of friends (or find one) and not pay heed to any news or social media.
Try to find more hobbies or join a political organization if you want to at least feel like you are making an impact. Volunteering also tends to be a wholesome activity. Dating is universally bucked, i honestly don't know what to tell you, try multiple dating apps or find some out-of-the-way places like old-school forums and such for dating and meeting potential romantic partners.
As for sleeping, i found out that if you go to sleep at around 12-1 and get up at 8, those 4 hours till noon really make an impact in terms of how much of a day you have at your disposal. I used to go to bed at around 2 and would get up around 11 and eventually found that pointless so i regimented myself to the current schedule.
Lastly - you are not the only one who is suffering, we are in a period the Chinese call ''interesting times'' and things will get rougher before they get better. I don't know your particular life circumstances, but maybe moving or additional education/training for a re-qualification may open up more options for you.
I hope things get better for you. *DM me if you want to vent, i won't mind x3*
The news cycle is a tornado. Gotta limit your time looking at it, or you will inevitably believe we're all irredemptively fucked. I sometimes do "no-news" weekends where i allow myself to focus on hobbies and other stuff. You need a break. Slow down. Read a book. Take a walk. No electronic items.
oh boy, are they!!!
Personal challenges are something everyone can relate to. The specifics may vary, and thus the way to address and overcome them does, too. What may work wonders for one person may be utterly futile for another, due to so many variations that make up 'Humanity' it isn't even funny.
I've discovered that those neat little spring-wound (NOT electric, though those are good, if you don't mind feeding them the batteries as necessary?) 'Timers' are a life saving tool in my world. I too often get immersed in something, forget I've got something in the oven (Or simmering on the stove), and I too HATE wasting food due to such oversights! (And the blaring smoke alarm, while I respect it, is a thing of nightmares!).
Personal issues in dealing with peeps? Sorry Hon., but I'm in no way qualified to recommend much to anyone. I can put on the 'Social Mask' with the best of them. I was very (HYPER) active as a youth/young adult, played as many sports as I could fit into my life, but never felt like I was ever part of the 'In Crowd.' That was o.k. by me. Inside I'm extremely solitary person, and I don't seek publicity or its approval (I hear some snickering at that 'Revelation!' :: Peers closer... "I see you, too!" :: You know who you are!) ;-P
This is just the way I'm wired. I realize it, I adopted/adapted, I exist to this day as such.
Now, if someone WANTS interaction, and they can't seem to achieve it? This is where I have to sit on the sidelines, 'cause I can only offer my ephemeral support for the desire and efforts made.
Best I can say, if I had to say anything? Wanting something usually sees me doing things that will achieve obtaining it. If one tactic doesn't work, I'll continue (I'm tenacious when the mood suits me), and continue, and it takes a LOT to make me throw in the towel. Has happened, and if I live long enough, will happen again, no doubt.
We also have to know our limitations. Don't beat yourself up if you truly believe you've done all you CAN do (And if seeking help from others didn't work, either?). Adapt. If you can't attain something, are there other things you can do that will satisfy?
Sorry if this comes across as too lame, but,,, I can empathize with you/your situation(s).
Just wanted ya to know I don't think any less of YOU, the person, nor do I believe YOU are a failure or have failed. You're still alive. You're still thinking, reasoning, pondering, and all of these are good things!