updates, mental health and such
a year ago
So ..its been a bit since I wrote anything about what's been going on in rl. FIrst...It's been 6 months since I found out I had ADHD and got meds that really helped me out. It's been great, and I feel like I can accomplish something. One the only ways I was able to accomplish the musical last year at school. Then summer came....I got hit with an unexpected bill that came out at wrong time. Then next thing I know I was major debt. Even took on commissions and only filling in the hole just a bit...it wouldn't be until June. On top of that at the beginning of summer my AC unit that was 30 years old went out. So we had to get a loan and get that replaced....and thankful we did because its bee super hot down here @.@ even now it was 99 with a heat index of 111. Not fun...and the new AC unit works well. But for the entire summer thanks to the economy being trash we struggled. Kayla needed my help most of the summer at the shelter. So almost 85 to 90% was working there. And I can't be paid due to nepotism laws. Kayla took up walking dogs during her lunch break and pet sitting a group regularly. I pet sat for a couple of folks. We both facepainted every weekend at the farmers market. I started a spicy content channel and it was quite hard to find places that allow things. And since I'm still new I can't do an only fans just yet because I don't have the following. Both Kayla and I gave plasma regularly until life got busy and we couldn't make it 2 times a week and now our pay out isn't worth the trip to go do it. I did manage 2 mudding trips. I wanted more but flat tire, being broke, and weather prevented that. My trip to go see my friend Susi did not happen. Maybe next year...No chance of going to MFM.
Schools back started and I feeling confident in the school year and what we are doing as far as shows are concerned. I am probably going to try and get a part time restaurant job at night and weekends. Applied at two places, haven't heard back from either just yet. Kids birthdays, Halloween, and Christmas are all coming up so have to figure out a way to get extra money....I'm behind on commissions. Not to far behind, but much more than I would like to be..but.. I'm burnt out...Like I havent' posted anything because I can't make myself mentally do it. But Im finding it easier now... I have a back log of stuff I will be posting so get ready for a flood sorta. I'll get back into the commission load this week. Thank you all for being patient and understanding. I've started a podcast.. I'm trying all that I can think of other than working in a sex shop and stripping...and NEITHER of those things are remotely close to me. Selling sex toys are illegal in this state. You can call them noveties...but nearest shop is like 2 hours away in this state...then the other is in another state.... So yeah...got to love it hear.
A few other things... I came out as genderfluid. I love the idea of being any gender I want when I want. Though don't get to do much and can't really transition at all. Why can't someone invent a collar that allows you to shift gender when you feel like it @.@
Schools back started and I feeling confident in the school year and what we are doing as far as shows are concerned. I am probably going to try and get a part time restaurant job at night and weekends. Applied at two places, haven't heard back from either just yet. Kids birthdays, Halloween, and Christmas are all coming up so have to figure out a way to get extra money....I'm behind on commissions. Not to far behind, but much more than I would like to be..but.. I'm burnt out...Like I havent' posted anything because I can't make myself mentally do it. But Im finding it easier now... I have a back log of stuff I will be posting so get ready for a flood sorta. I'll get back into the commission load this week. Thank you all for being patient and understanding. I've started a podcast.. I'm trying all that I can think of other than working in a sex shop and stripping...and NEITHER of those things are remotely close to me. Selling sex toys are illegal in this state. You can call them noveties...but nearest shop is like 2 hours away in this state...then the other is in another state.... So yeah...got to love it hear.
A few other things... I came out as genderfluid. I love the idea of being any gender I want when I want. Though don't get to do much and can't really transition at all. Why can't someone invent a collar that allows you to shift gender when you feel like it @.@
Let me voice my opinion on your home-state then: "BOOO! LAME!" Please tell them that from me!
Sorry, that life has treated you harshly. Everyone has troubles to deal with, so...It's Life for common folk, I guess. Do your battles and win them all, and stay strong!
About the genderfluid thing: I am identifying as my born gender (♀) but was tempted a few times to go and change my fursonas to male or herm. Sadly, I lack the experience of how a dick would work, so I never felt the true calling to go and make a fursona with a penis. The closest I ever got, is a demonic, living sex toy (parasitic and demonic strap-on) that works as a penis, transforms my girl-juices into male sperm and transfers the feelings to my female parts. That's the best I could do, the closest thing I could imagine and feel connected to for being gender fluid.
I did a few years of D&D in my youth, and wore a cursed Belt of Gender change, just to be able to mask my identity and get away from my enemies in town, or for other reasons. Despite the usefulness, and sometimes the awkwardness of "How do you use this thing?" or "This thing feels so stuffed in my pants." and "Why did this became hard? I am not even aroused!" I was NEVER tempted to use it as a sex organ, and went to get it removed asap. It has a superb roleplay possibility, but for me, it never made me use it as a 'do sex as another gender' item...
Here's an interesting discussion topic: Galactic Senate visit Earth and turn every human (and animals) herm overnight. How many generation must be pass before it is accepted? Maybe the Aliens also change our mind a bit, to accept it (and enjoy it) without much fuss...Would be better? Maybe...
Yeah and I know right now alot of folks are dealing with this and its not just me. But lately I've felt like I've just kinda locked myself away and hid in myself so no one knows what's going on. and I've been struggling.
Hehehe yes haveing a penis is something alright ;P it grows and does what it wants when or not when you want it to. Then sprays things XD Very fun though.
YAY DnD...love Dnd XD been a while since I've been in a game.
yeah.. I think if aliens did arrive folks being a herm would not be their main concern XD I know down here folks would be trying to shoot them...hell some might try and cook and eat them XD
I've got my penis-behavior studies from my boyfriend(s). Hands on experience...among other body parts as well.
What would you change on a collar that denotes gender? To me the collar style is immaterial to gender. Glam goths often wear fanciful pink. Traditionalists wear black leather. I have 6 different collars, including a pink and black neoprene one that matches a neoprene pup hood, gray and black neoprene, black leather & neoprene, black leather with spikes, and black rubber.... It's more about your style rather than gender to me.
(Neoprene is easy to wash compared to leather and breathes better than rubber or leather while still being skin tight.)