I just got home from the psyche ward yesterday. My dad turned on my phone in his plan because my mom sometimes has to skip a payment.

He's also gonna let me move in but idk when. We hadn't really discussed that because he wants to take it slow and since I'm welcomed at my mother's apartment, it's not entirely bad. I'm mainly miffed about needing a bed which will cost me like $600. And idk how to get that kind of money all disabled like I am. And without my husband. And I'm not even referencing my mental illnesses, I'm actually thinking about how I can't walk/stand for too long anymore. But the SSI hearing; this particular one is about mental. I don't know if they examined my physical limits or if they'll ask. But I will definitely be honest.

Anyway... Thanks for reading if you did. I'm in a better place than before having been taken inpatient... But I'm not great. I might post some of my art that I made there later.

As for why I went, I tried to OD on one of my medications. I didn't take enough to cause damage in a profound way but it was enough to make me sick the next day. And the day I went, I was flirting with taking a lot more. But I worry about being saved from it, and being more disabled than I already am.

...I'm not handling life well. It's not totally the grief either. It's everything. I feel like life is a battle were all expected to just fight. And I don't have fight in me anymore. I never had much but I had a powerful ally...