Damn, I was waiting to see if payment difficulties canned another commission to see if I had funds to send your way. Surprised you didn't get more takers, you're one of the best writers on the site.

I appreciate those kind words, thank you. But it wasn't the lack of takers for commissions, but the realisation that no one actually cared enough about me to share my excitement for this journey.

I saw in your other comments that you're continuing the journey privately, i just wanted to STRONGLY SUGGEST that any attempt to express/become one's true self will always be met with apathy or confusion by the world around you. It is extremely validating to have the support of a community but it takes time for people to factor new changes into their lives. I would suggest opening back up and inviting people to go on the journey with you, but obviously, only if you are comfortable with it. The care will come!

The main issue was the apathy from groups that were specifically set up for giving to support to people doing what I'm doing. That's where most of the hurt came from. But I have been fortunate that I have had a bunch of people helping pick me back up, and while I'm not quite back to where I was, I'm definitely being more open about the journey again.

huge hugs
your strength is seen and appreciated, for what it's worth

O God. Hang in there.

I will be, don't worry. This doesn't change my goals. It just means it's a private journey now, not a shared one.

While I can't possibly imagine what you might be going through, I'm certain I can recognize the pain in your message. While my brain is alight crunching the possible things I can say to make it better, I think the best thing I can do is share an understanding. The desire for isolation, the instability of disproportionate relationships, and the horrors of betrayal.

I know the last thing anybody desires from strangers with no idea who they are writing to, but I hope you can understand. 9/10 when somebody doesn't help you, it's because they are helping themselves. We live in a cold, insidious world that will destroy anything at any time, for any reason.

However you proceed, I hope you can find peace of mind.

I want you to know that I'm cheering you on!