Spooky month or something, I don't celebrate it, not my thing.

There's something some friends have tried to communicate me, the act of drawing worse in order to find enjoyment with art again and to find the median of my quality when it comes to drawing... It's hard to wrap my head around that, I honestly don't doodle much and I'm prone of giving up when things don't come right the first time, so exercising that muscle is very hard for me.

Speaking of exercising muscles, painting! Oh! That's hard, of course. And I don't mean cel-shading stuff like this picture I made (Is this cel shading? Terms elude me.) I wanna end up making stuff like Taran or Darkgem or Jerome, you know, like if you really grabbed a brush and painted that shit, yeah?
I've been doing studies, like 30 minute/hourly ones... I use a round brush for all of them, I think they look nice, maybe? But the problem is that I feel I don't learn much, that's the problem I've always had with studies! It doesn't feel like I'm learning anything I can apply when I'm not referring to an existing photo or picture.

So it's hard to keep up the practice, I wouldn't post my studies here, and honestly, it feels like I have nobody to show them to... More importantly, I've always had a feeling that I'm wasting my time when doing them. Like, feelings of "I'm not learning anything" aside, should I be bothering with painting?
In the end, when looking at all the great artist's I admire and their processes, they seem to have their drawings before they even put the first line... And I dunno, I struggle with 3/4 pectorals or hands and making things look overall good right? Like maybe I should focus on drafting more confidently, making appealing lines in one go, to be more like them? Bah, I really don't know.

I know it's a bit irrealistic to compare myself to speedpaints/time-lapses, specially because most don't show the references they used (Maybe they used none, which is what I TRY to do... I don't like using reference, that's like, a whole other can of worms.)
Maybe they went through 10 iterations of the same drawing, I might never know. Whatever the case, it really feels like a good solid drawing skill is needed before I move to animation or painting or 3d sculpting or whatever.

I think those are all my thoughts that were cultivating since last month... Oh right, my hand still feels weird, I'd keep going to physical therapy or a traumatologist, but haha, that's expensive... I'll just take care, stretch, rest, draw more carefully. I really can't afford to not draw because of a stupid hand injury. I have to get better at art.