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November
a month ago
General
Aaaaaaah my hand is busted again, nooOoOoOoo.
I will see if it fixes itself after 2 weeks, gonna be using a brace for my thumb so my right hand will be out of commission for a while. I have been having problems with it since late October so that's why I haven't really done much... This wouldn't really be that big of a deal outside of bumming me out cuz I can't draw but all my uni work has been piling up and I can't work on it, and it has me suuuuuper anxious.
That being said, it was a nice month overall, I've been thinking a lot about my goals, and restructuring my envy and jealousy I have to other artists into driving force to improve! To be honest, it doesn't usually work, as much as I say openly "I'll catch up to you! Just you wait!" The gap keeps widening and it can be a bit daunting at times, but a lot of artist feel like this honestly, I take solace in that, surprising given how I am or was very against relating to others problems because "it's cope" or "it doesn't really help"... Guess I've grown? I dunno.
I'd like to be an animator, maybe, everyone says I'm good at that and honestly it doesn't hurt to lean on what I'm good at, right? I probably said the same thing when everyone in middle school was like "You draw good!" and here I am, not even being able to render a picture to completion like a dumbass <w<;;
All paths lead to uh... General improvement in the arts though, right? I still want to be good at art, and make cool porn, and make amazing compositions and rendering illustrations! So it's not like I'm giving up on all of that.
I've been thinking about how others artists feel too, it's crazy seeing artists that have been doing this like 20 more years than me say the same things I say when it comes to judging your own work, well, not crazy, sobering? Maybe that's the word? I feel I've talked about this in another journal before but man... I don't really want them to feel like that, and conversely, I don't want to feel like that either. I've been much more supportive on other's endeavors this year because of that, I'm always commenting and sending DMs like "wow your work is crazy good, or this piece in particular made me feel this way" or just being a cringe fanboy in general LOL... I think it's a step in making me be kinder to MYSELF, by being supportive of others.
And on that note, I've been keeping busy talking with other artists too! It's fun, knowing other's struggles or seeing their work n' stuff, going to streams, being friendly in general... Hearing how they feel when they work helps me keep things in perspective, it's much less intimidating when you hear 'em speak and not just pump out work after work like a tireless machine that faces no difficulties ever when it comes to art, haha.
But yeah, that's all for this month... Well, not THIS month, last month, more like. I know I name these journals after the month I make them, but it's more about a recap of last month... Maybe I should call them like "October RECAP" or "Status report: Last Month" uhh... No maybe not, anyways bye!
I will see if it fixes itself after 2 weeks, gonna be using a brace for my thumb so my right hand will be out of commission for a while. I have been having problems with it since late October so that's why I haven't really done much... This wouldn't really be that big of a deal outside of bumming me out cuz I can't draw but all my uni work has been piling up and I can't work on it, and it has me suuuuuper anxious.
That being said, it was a nice month overall, I've been thinking a lot about my goals, and restructuring my envy and jealousy I have to other artists into driving force to improve! To be honest, it doesn't usually work, as much as I say openly "I'll catch up to you! Just you wait!" The gap keeps widening and it can be a bit daunting at times, but a lot of artist feel like this honestly, I take solace in that, surprising given how I am or was very against relating to others problems because "it's cope" or "it doesn't really help"... Guess I've grown? I dunno.
I'd like to be an animator, maybe, everyone says I'm good at that and honestly it doesn't hurt to lean on what I'm good at, right? I probably said the same thing when everyone in middle school was like "You draw good!" and here I am, not even being able to render a picture to completion like a dumbass <w<;;
All paths lead to uh... General improvement in the arts though, right? I still want to be good at art, and make cool porn, and make amazing compositions and rendering illustrations! So it's not like I'm giving up on all of that.
I've been thinking about how others artists feel too, it's crazy seeing artists that have been doing this like 20 more years than me say the same things I say when it comes to judging your own work, well, not crazy, sobering? Maybe that's the word? I feel I've talked about this in another journal before but man... I don't really want them to feel like that, and conversely, I don't want to feel like that either. I've been much more supportive on other's endeavors this year because of that, I'm always commenting and sending DMs like "wow your work is crazy good, or this piece in particular made me feel this way" or just being a cringe fanboy in general LOL... I think it's a step in making me be kinder to MYSELF, by being supportive of others.
And on that note, I've been keeping busy talking with other artists too! It's fun, knowing other's struggles or seeing their work n' stuff, going to streams, being friendly in general... Hearing how they feel when they work helps me keep things in perspective, it's much less intimidating when you hear 'em speak and not just pump out work after work like a tireless machine that faces no difficulties ever when it comes to art, haha.
But yeah, that's all for this month... Well, not THIS month, last month, more like. I know I name these journals after the month I make them, but it's more about a recap of last month... Maybe I should call them like "October RECAP" or "Status report: Last Month" uhh... No maybe not, anyways bye!
