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I dunno if I can take this anymore…
a year ago
My Journal
This journal is a more stressed vent and less organized journal than my journal on Project 25. You can read that here:
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10901081/
So, it is now one month till Election Day in the USA. Between someone who will continue the status quo of the bare minimum (Kamala) and a literal danger to the entire world (Trump). As much as i criticize the Democrats for doing nothing but twiddling thumbs and shaking hands and doing nothing about the carnage overseas, the republicans are fully intent on creating a fascist dictatorship. One that aims to mass deport and violently dispel of anyone they don’t like. Trump has gone on record of wanting to deport millions from this country, destroying every progress made in the 20th century, policing and rounding up queer and women who fight back, locking up political opponents, and more. If we aren’t getting P25 we are definitely getting Trump’s agenda 47 which is a light version of it that is still dangerous and will destroy the country. He literally wants to end Medicare and take everyone off social security, unions, and medical care and force people to die for a profit. The scary thing though is not trump that I worry about, but rather every single person he’s enabled. Every single racist and bigot he will install. They aim to make this country hell for anyone who isn’t them. Donald himself is doing this as revenge.
The worst part? He’s doing great in the polls. Half this country actually wants this dark future. Half this country wants the other half dead. Half of this country is so happy with a man who doesn’t give a damn about them.
Which leads me to my vent….. I really can’t take it anymore. For the past 8 years I watched this world I truly had hope for get dashed. Watching people who were once normal turn into hate filled idiots who believe anything and want to do others harm. Watching this country repeal laws and destroy protections on our future, our freedoms, and our lives. Seeing how they can just pass laws on women’s bodies and who can sleep with whom and criminalizing not even having a house. The police have ramped up it’s brutality by just shooting first and asking no questions. And if the republicans are successful and Christian nationalists take hold of the nation and start criminalizing literally anything they want, what will literally be left to live for? Run away from people and things I love and just ignore everything? Hide somewhere? Fight back? And if they fail, they’ll plunge the nation into turmoil anyway. Watch as the USA Balkanizes and splits into many pieces and live the rest of our lives in a perpetual war? And if Kamala wins… how long until they just decide to try again? Or keep ramping up their rhetoric and violence… something’s going to give. The economy sucks, the geopolitical situation around the world sucks, the earth is dying, the internet is being torn apart, our lives disrupted… seriously, how can life get any better if our very existence is being threatened. I am a bi/pansexual young man (?) with an interest for arts and culture and freedom. I am open and part of many queer subcultures. Everything I am a part of is threatened right now. I am anxious about losing everyone and everything I ever cared about. My irl family too. They are so vulnerable… my mom lost so much money this year. I dunno how we are going to get that money back as her job screws her more. I keep searching for a job but no one wants to hire me. Are we going to go homeless and go into one of the homeless prison camps trump is planning? or I go to prison for liking men? Or I go to prison for making this journal and being critical of Trump? Are we going to get deported for not being “true Americans” to them? Will I never find a job or a life because I dare to talk against Christian Nationalism or being not straight or advocating for women’s health and liberation? Is my life basically over either way? To quote Wall-E: “I don’t want to survive. I want to LIVE”
“Oh Josh, you watch too much news! You need to Deprogram yourself away from political media!”
Yeah… try being in one or more of the groups that are being targeted right now by reactionary media and groups that want us harmed. Try looking out your window and see this isn’t online, this is real life stuff happening across the world. In fact, it’s the inaction and ignorance that has gotten us in this position in the first place. Now we are on the cusp of a very possible dangerous event in history and we are just watching.
What about left wing groups? Well… they’re too busy throwing soup cans at paintings and pretending they know everything about topics and going into puritanical politics too. My god they are so dysfunctional. Can’t get organized and can’t stop these fascists in office. And they’re saying to not vote for Kamala because…. “They’re the same!!!”
Like I said, I don’t have high hopes for Kamala. But you have to be a massive delusional individual to even remotely think the modern gop is the same as neolibs.
After saying all of this, I just sincerely hope Kamala wins. I know this seems like a very silly thing to be depressed about for 4 years but the thought of trump coming back has seriously debilitated my mental health. Every day I think about how I could go to jail for being myself. Every day I think about how if they take over and dismantle everything my life and other’s lives will be basically over and they will create a world I don’t want to be in. Every day I think how it’s all over. I don’t frankly know what to do. All I want to be is an artist who creates things and lives in a polycule and has a jolly life traveling all over and meeting new people and learning new cultures. That’s it. That’s all I want out of life. And apparently that’s evil. I have to work a long shift with no benefits, forced to only marry a wife who may not like me, and be happy with whatever I get; or die.
That’s the American dream right?
Some days, I wish I was in a different world. A faraway land that doesn’t hate me for being myself. Maybe I’d be less depressed. Maybe I’d actually be someone.
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10901081/
So, it is now one month till Election Day in the USA. Between someone who will continue the status quo of the bare minimum (Kamala) and a literal danger to the entire world (Trump). As much as i criticize the Democrats for doing nothing but twiddling thumbs and shaking hands and doing nothing about the carnage overseas, the republicans are fully intent on creating a fascist dictatorship. One that aims to mass deport and violently dispel of anyone they don’t like. Trump has gone on record of wanting to deport millions from this country, destroying every progress made in the 20th century, policing and rounding up queer and women who fight back, locking up political opponents, and more. If we aren’t getting P25 we are definitely getting Trump’s agenda 47 which is a light version of it that is still dangerous and will destroy the country. He literally wants to end Medicare and take everyone off social security, unions, and medical care and force people to die for a profit. The scary thing though is not trump that I worry about, but rather every single person he’s enabled. Every single racist and bigot he will install. They aim to make this country hell for anyone who isn’t them. Donald himself is doing this as revenge.
The worst part? He’s doing great in the polls. Half this country actually wants this dark future. Half this country wants the other half dead. Half of this country is so happy with a man who doesn’t give a damn about them.
Which leads me to my vent….. I really can’t take it anymore. For the past 8 years I watched this world I truly had hope for get dashed. Watching people who were once normal turn into hate filled idiots who believe anything and want to do others harm. Watching this country repeal laws and destroy protections on our future, our freedoms, and our lives. Seeing how they can just pass laws on women’s bodies and who can sleep with whom and criminalizing not even having a house. The police have ramped up it’s brutality by just shooting first and asking no questions. And if the republicans are successful and Christian nationalists take hold of the nation and start criminalizing literally anything they want, what will literally be left to live for? Run away from people and things I love and just ignore everything? Hide somewhere? Fight back? And if they fail, they’ll plunge the nation into turmoil anyway. Watch as the USA Balkanizes and splits into many pieces and live the rest of our lives in a perpetual war? And if Kamala wins… how long until they just decide to try again? Or keep ramping up their rhetoric and violence… something’s going to give. The economy sucks, the geopolitical situation around the world sucks, the earth is dying, the internet is being torn apart, our lives disrupted… seriously, how can life get any better if our very existence is being threatened. I am a bi/pansexual young man (?) with an interest for arts and culture and freedom. I am open and part of many queer subcultures. Everything I am a part of is threatened right now. I am anxious about losing everyone and everything I ever cared about. My irl family too. They are so vulnerable… my mom lost so much money this year. I dunno how we are going to get that money back as her job screws her more. I keep searching for a job but no one wants to hire me. Are we going to go homeless and go into one of the homeless prison camps trump is planning? or I go to prison for liking men? Or I go to prison for making this journal and being critical of Trump? Are we going to get deported for not being “true Americans” to them? Will I never find a job or a life because I dare to talk against Christian Nationalism or being not straight or advocating for women’s health and liberation? Is my life basically over either way? To quote Wall-E: “I don’t want to survive. I want to LIVE”
“Oh Josh, you watch too much news! You need to Deprogram yourself away from political media!”
Yeah… try being in one or more of the groups that are being targeted right now by reactionary media and groups that want us harmed. Try looking out your window and see this isn’t online, this is real life stuff happening across the world. In fact, it’s the inaction and ignorance that has gotten us in this position in the first place. Now we are on the cusp of a very possible dangerous event in history and we are just watching.
What about left wing groups? Well… they’re too busy throwing soup cans at paintings and pretending they know everything about topics and going into puritanical politics too. My god they are so dysfunctional. Can’t get organized and can’t stop these fascists in office. And they’re saying to not vote for Kamala because…. “They’re the same!!!”
Like I said, I don’t have high hopes for Kamala. But you have to be a massive delusional individual to even remotely think the modern gop is the same as neolibs.
After saying all of this, I just sincerely hope Kamala wins. I know this seems like a very silly thing to be depressed about for 4 years but the thought of trump coming back has seriously debilitated my mental health. Every day I think about how I could go to jail for being myself. Every day I think about how if they take over and dismantle everything my life and other’s lives will be basically over and they will create a world I don’t want to be in. Every day I think how it’s all over. I don’t frankly know what to do. All I want to be is an artist who creates things and lives in a polycule and has a jolly life traveling all over and meeting new people and learning new cultures. That’s it. That’s all I want out of life. And apparently that’s evil. I have to work a long shift with no benefits, forced to only marry a wife who may not like me, and be happy with whatever I get; or die.
That’s the American dream right?
Some days, I wish I was in a different world. A faraway land that doesn’t hate me for being myself. Maybe I’d be less depressed. Maybe I’d actually be someone.
