This isn’t an apology for my last journal, but rather a more cautionary statement that’s condensed from my last journal. I am debating whether to delete it or not but I feel like I have nowhere to honestly talk and it drives me insane. And when I wrote my last journal I was legitimately s*icidal that day. Today I’m back to feeling dread from the high of optimism but I’ll forget to write or come back to this site for days again so it’s as good as it’s gonna get.

So it’s no secret America is shit right now, and they’re doing increasingly fucked up things to stay in power. I’d go to a protest but I barely feel safe going to the store let alone a protest, and if I didn’t have my elderly family to help take care of I probably would have less regrets about showing up. But because I have people who need me all I can really do is retweet shit on Bluesky.

I will not retract my statement I have no hope in any government official or group stopping this country from collapse. But I do feel like i underestimate the people in this country and abroad who are genuinely concerned and actively trying to make this world a better place. If this country goes to shit I’m sure the people will step up and rebuild everything back better than before. I do believe in a better future that will be built on the world we make.

I’m still cautiously optimistic because the future could be bright, I have no idea what’s going to happen now or that any of us will live to see that future. I still believe my life is basically over by what has happened. There’s no way I can be who I want to be in a world hostile to my very existence.

I won’t go all crazy in my last journal but don’t be surprised if one day you may not see any more posts here or elsewhere, whether the internet shuts down, global war, I’m dead, etc.


As for the other updates:
I no longer have Instagram or Twitter and I plan to delete more of my social medias and switch to more private ones or small ones like FA

Also soon I’m going to do another art dump here. Enjoy.