I try to avoid writing too much about this stuff, but I figure at this point it's widely enough known now and I owe a lot of people explanations about my behaviour the past month.

I have been trying to quit alcoholism for a long time, with mixed success. Things are definitely improving but not perfect. There's an addictions clinic close by and I can just drop in whenever, and I saw the doctor there. They said by far my best chance for long term recovery right now is to go through a formal detox center dedicated to helping people get sober. Sounded great! The catch is (and this is mostly for safety if you understand alcohol) I had to stay drunk, and preferably insanely drunk while on the waitlist. Which is typically a week. The doctor said, "You're obviously good at being drunk so just do that until we call you." Ok, for a week I can handle this.

I managed for 2 weeks, and during this time I did a lot of stupid things online which I owe you all an apology for. Every day was like torture, I had to force myself to drink, I felt sick all the time, a lot of it all I could do was lie in bed. After 2 weeks my body started rejecting the alcohol and severe withdrawal kicked in.

It was clear I couldn't keep this up any longer so I wound up back in the ER. At first they said, "Ok we dealt with the withdrawal now you can go home and drink for a couple of days until detox." But it turns out they still wouldn't have a spot available for at least another week. Seriously how can you expect someone to stay drunk for a whole month. Once the wait time became obvious the doctors changed their mind and said the combination of ER detox and at home detox was actually the best option.

TLDR: I went through two weeks of hell for nothing, and put some of you through that hell as well. But now I'm sober and working like hell to stay that way.