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My life is a mess. I can't stop crying every day
9 months ago
It seems to me that my life is just an endless series of failures... I just don't even understand why I'm going through all these trials, I'm not such a terrible person to deserve all this
My stepfather had a stroke a few weeks ago and now he is paralyzed and if he manages to successfully undergo physiotherapy, he will be able to walk for sure only after a few years, but even then it is not accurate, because doctors say that a blood clot was found in his carotid artery and it is unknown what to do with it now because it cannot be operated on... I will need to start helping my mom, at least with the money to pay the bills, because it will be hard for her to cope alone with a paralyzed person...
And today, while I was working, my computer just stopped suddenly showing signs of life, it just turned off and doesn't turn on anymore, I have no idea what exactly broke in it, but I think it's a power supply.. I hope so...
and the saddest thing is that all this takes money.. and in a couple of weeks it's my birthday and I feel just terrible, it's unbearable, every day it's just a series of shocks and trials, where to take money for everything, how to finally start feeling that my life is worth something when everything in it seems to be the enemy for me..
I fucking hopeless person, I can't even have a happy time in my life, I just want some peace in my life...
I'm sorry for the delay in the drawings, I'm terribly ashamed that I can't even work properly now...
My stepfather had a stroke a few weeks ago and now he is paralyzed and if he manages to successfully undergo physiotherapy, he will be able to walk for sure only after a few years, but even then it is not accurate, because doctors say that a blood clot was found in his carotid artery and it is unknown what to do with it now because it cannot be operated on... I will need to start helping my mom, at least with the money to pay the bills, because it will be hard for her to cope alone with a paralyzed person...
And today, while I was working, my computer just stopped suddenly showing signs of life, it just turned off and doesn't turn on anymore, I have no idea what exactly broke in it, but I think it's a power supply.. I hope so...
and the saddest thing is that all this takes money.. and in a couple of weeks it's my birthday and I feel just terrible, it's unbearable, every day it's just a series of shocks and trials, where to take money for everything, how to finally start feeling that my life is worth something when everything in it seems to be the enemy for me..
I fucking hopeless person, I can't even have a happy time in my life, I just want some peace in my life...
I'm sorry for the delay in the drawings, I'm terribly ashamed that I can't even work properly now...
It is alright to feel upset about these circumstances, it sucks ass, you and your family deserve better tbh, but do not feel shame over something beyond your control like this.
You're strong to have lasted through it all and things will get better in time.
We can't all Marry a wealthy person who can pay away all the problems.
You have to be determined to move forward.
It's easy to give up, people do it every day.
The only advice I have is to throw yourself into work.
Working gives you purpose. If it's to make money to pay bills, or just to get out of bed.
I absolutely sympathize with your situation.
Take a day to drink, scream, video game, or whatever to collect yourself enough so you can get back on your feet tommoro.
The world doesn't stop for anyone, and you shouldn't stop for it.
The number 1 person you can rely on is yourself.
History is full of people who overcome exceptional odds and inspire hope for those around them.
But it is also littered with people who gave up for one reason or another.
So I just want to say, as a stranger in a foreign land,
I belive you can rise above your trials, so should you.