Hello guys! I'd like to apologize again for the lack of uploads. This month has been pretty busy for me... Lots of birthdays, then of course the holidays, and I've been working on art for gifts that I had to keep quiet on! I'll be uploading those later tonight or tomorrow. And to be quite honest, the past week I've barely touched my computer. Most of my down time was spent watching TV and playing on my phone... Not very productive at all, but we all have those times.

Aside from the gift-art, I've also been working on some backgrounds (well, only one so far, but I plan to take on more) for another animated short film, and I got a big commission that I'll be needing to chip away at over the next few weeks outside of work.

Speaking of work, sometimes my shifts get slow so I've been trying to read more instead of wasting that time between tasks and customers on my phone. So far I've read Lou Sullivan: Daring to be a Man Among Men by Brice Smith, The Colour of Magic by Terry Pratchett, and The Never-ending Story by Michael Ende. All fantastic books. If you're trans and interested in learning more about FTM history, I highly recommend that first book. It was so insightful and honestly made me cry at multiple points. I know I'm quite biased, but many of the experiences that Lou wrote in his journals hit very close to home.

Onto the slightly (and at times greatly) more serious topics...

I'd also like to warn people that outside of my few and far between commissions and any volunteer or paid gig work (like the student short films I've helped out on), starting in January I will very likely have less time for art. This will hopefully only be temporary, as I learn to manage the new schedule I've worked out for myself. (P.S. I will still be open for new commissions, and when I get a commission I will get it done in a timely manner. My personal art, which is most of what I do and what I post, is what will be taking a seat on the back burner.)

For far too long I've allowed my addiction to my phone to rule me, and I've realized lately that I cannot let it continue. Life is to short to waste it staring at a screen for as many hours a day as I have the past ten years. It's also just not healthy for me. I think it's honestly one of the roots to a lot of my problems and a lot of what makes me unhappy in life. I've know for a long time that there won't be some knight in shining armor to come rescue me from these things, and that I must take action myself. I've taken steps to make my phone a lot more boring, including removing apps that aren't necessary, turning on the grayscale color filter, blocking websites, etc. I've been eying a specific model of dumb-phone that seems to suite all my needs but I need to wait until the money is right, and also make sure the product isn't actually a scam. I'm hoping taking these steps will allow me to succeed in cutting my screen time down even more. What was what once an average of 16 hours a day screen time is now down to roughly 4 to 6 (give or take), and I'm hoping I can get it even lower.

Also in relation to my expected drop in time I can use towards art is the fact that as mentioned I'm going to try very hard to stick to a daily routine, a new diet, and I'm going back to school. For the time being, I'll be using some free resources I found online to gain free college credits, and from there I'll transfer the credits to a community college near me to take the remaining classes I'll need for an associates degree. I might get one, but honestly I'm eye-balling getting two since the two I'm looking at share a lot of the classes so I'd only need to stack on a couple more to get two. Then I'll see about getting a bachelors degree, and hopefully get a better job. (Seriously, my current one sucks... The customers keep assaulting me and one of my coworkers is a bigot... Bleugh...)

As for now, I've more or less temporarily given up on my dream to work in the arts and art entertainment. The animation industry is in shambles, and I got scammed by the pipe-dream selling diploma-mill I'm ashamed to call my alma mater. With the lack of job opportunities in this field, especially for juniors and entry-level people trying to get their toes wet, the disruption that AI has caused, the mountain of debt I have crushing me, and the threat of homelessness that is looming overhead in the near future, I unfortunately have to start thinking of my future with finances more at the forefront. I'm beginning to realize that I'm simply not as skilled as I thought I was. One day I will get there, but for now I need to be more realistic.

That said, art is still my biggest passion in life. I cannot live without creating, so I'm not quitting art. I've just got to get my priorities straightened out for the next few years to make sure I'll be okay.

Another thing I've been busy with is trying to de-clutter. I've got a bit of a hoarding problem, which is not good for me for a number of reasons, but I've realized recently that the reason I struggle with keeping my room organized is because of how many things I have. I simply don't have enough room for it all, quite frankly a decent chunk of it is useless junk. Sometimes it can be something as simple as a wad of bubble wrap that I don't want to throw out in case I need it in the future, but today I've realized while I might be saving a few dollars down the line, it's costing me more now and in the long run (in terms of stress) than it is to just throw it out now and buy bubble wrap when I need it. That goes for a lot of the stuff I've got. So far I've gotten rid of a good chunk of stuff, but I still feel like I could get rid of more. From what I decide to get rid of, I will be selling some of it on eBay to build my savings up a little more, and what I don't sell will be donated if I think it's something that could serve someone else some use (like clothes, stuffed animals, etc). The rest of what I keep, if it isn't something I use or need out, I plan to pack into boxes and stick in my closet, because while I do have the reflection to recognize my hoarding problem, and I also think a decent chunk of my disorganization is the fact that I'm simply outgrowing my childhood bedroom.

Anyway, I won't need to get back to work until Monday (I took some time off so I could have a break from the... *shivers* general public...) so I'll try to work on some things throughout the week, except for some of Friday and most of Sunday. On Friday I have to attend a funeral and go to the store, and on Sunday I'm visiting my cousins while they're in town.

Sorry that most of this, if not all, is not very positive. I don't have much good going for me right now, but I'm trying to keep my head up. Some of it is a monster of my own making after all, and there is no one to take responsibility but me. I expect to have some slip ups as I try to get my life together, but overall I'm going to try very hard to stick to my plans because I know that the way I'm currently navigating life (raw-dogging it day by day) is not productive short-term or long, isn't healthy, and will leave me with nothing but a mountain of regret. I want to do more. This is the start of that, and it's always better to start late than never.

Happy Holidays, and with peace and love. - Socks.