I'm finally starting to recover from the flu I had, so I've tried to do some artsy stuff.

Keyword, tried.

Seems like my head has completely blocked my will to draw anything. This is difficult to explain..
I guess it's the stress of "owned art" that just completely numbs me. I feel guilty if I try to draw anything
other than commissions or the raffle arts. The commissions and raffle arts on the other hand only feel
something I "have to" do, thus making my head go "I don't wanna". Even though the characters/commissions
are motivating and cool, somehow my head just...I dunno. Refuses to enjoy it? Or something?
Like, I open the obligatory works, try and do something, but all I can do is blankly stare at it and I get
nothing done, even if I'd really want to.

And if I try to draw something else (other than the owned art) I just feel too guilty to draw, and the circle goes on and on.

Today I just tried to paint a background for one of the owned works, but...that didn't help either. Nothing happened.
After an hour of just staring and feeling horrible, I felt so frustrated that I just shut down the Cintiq and
went to my living room to play on my phone instead.

I really don't know what to do.
I do have the option to just cancel all the commissions and then my workload would be halved,
but I'd hate to let down my clients, but I also hate to have them wait for so long. If everything went
according to my plan, I would've already finished all the commissions two weeks ago, but alas, irl stuff happens sadly.
And now, because everything keeps piling up, I feel more stressed and anxious.
It's mainly because I'm used to getting work done fast, I don't want to make people wait for long times.
And now that it's taken "too long" in my mind, I feel horrible. Even though none of the clients have paid yet,
because for stuff like this I always send the invoice much later, and I'm glad I do. Ofc I have contacted
the clients of this delay, and even when they say "it's okay take your time", I can't take my time, in my mind.
If I take "my time" it'll be 6 months before the work is done, and I want to keep a good schedule.

So.. Now I'm stuck here. Can't get anything done art-wise, and I'm pouring my anxiety and stress
on mobile games or watching TV, just escaping my computer and Cintiq all together.

If anyone has any good advices, I'm ready to listen. (っ´ω`)ﾉ(╥ω╥)

_{I dunno, maybe I'm making this more of a problem than it really is..}