Had a couple of weeks off of work and going back tomorrow, so may as well do some reflecting on stuff:

First thingy: This year I’ve felt a lot more stability and acceptance in myself, in work and otherwise. After a long time of feeling alien and the feeling that I *need* to be and act certain ways, primarily in feeling forced to be more social and doing stuff with others when I in fact I really value my alone time. Still… while I feel more stable and relaxed, and more understanding that friends and family know me a bit better I could use the occasional bit more of pressure again.

Second thingy: I desperately need a break from live service games. It’s been a joke both in my online haunts and with coworkers that Destiny 2 has been my addiction for a years at this point. And if not that it jumps to Old School Runescape, another time sucking behemoth. There’s also a pretty big lull in D2 due to uh… Bungie being Bungie, so I feel I really should take this as an opportunity, but again if I’m not careful I’ll probably jump to back to OSRS or something else. The main problem with these big ol’ grindy timesinks is while it’s fine to enjoy whatever hobby in my free time, they just suck up so much time and energy (not to mention scheduling due to FOMO), and I constantly lament that I lack the drive to do anything creative in my free time.

Which leads to third thingy: yeah I gotta try making and creating my own stuff this year. I say this to myself every year, wanting to do take a stab at my gamedev dreams again (which honestly pretty much everyone has), or art, or writing, or just something, anything. It’s hard though to start anything and then commit to anything. I took a small stab at drawing in the process of procrastinating some godot tutorials that were just boring me senseless. I did actually feel like I was doing okay and uh… having fun with the drawing I was doing? Makes me think a better plan for me is rather than committing to one creative goal I should just try to take a stab at as many as I can, that way when I begin to procrastinate and get bored at one I can shift gears to something else, and maybe actually get something else done.

Guess what, that leads to fourth thingy: yeah what I did was technically babyfur art heh. Okay so maybe cringe (and honestly it’s still not a main space I feel I slot into) but that’s a space I want to try and develop more cause I just find it really interesting to. Glori’s childhood is like one area that seems like I can actually make some semblance of a canon for (adult Glori stuff ends up being vertical slices of whatever made up scenario, especially with split comms with friends). Actually a big reason why I haven’t is it’s soooo difficult getting comms for artists with the specific vibe I have in mind (which btw is gonna remain clean and always sfw as it can be). Soooo maybe an excuse for me to take a stab at drawing it myself. Also, I need to be a bit more thrifty with money this year anyway. Also, I guess I could make a new account for that stuff, or just one for more experimental stuff in general (I have had ideas for things non-Glori related in the past but always felt weird committing to anything cause I don’t really have anywhere to post it, so maybe an experimental account could work?). We’ll see, I too lazy for new accounts this moment. uwu

I think that’s everything in red birb news. Also, I typed this in Microsoft word and was annoyed they were pushing CoPilot so hard and you couldn’t disable it that I learned that if you try and cancel your 365 office subscription it offers you an AI-less version for like 30% cheaper, so jumped on that heh >v>