I've learned that my repeated dejections of my various sonas is in due part to many factors, but the main few reasons are peer pressure from others to convince me to make one, my bipolar disorder generally being a nuisance and never really being able to commit to one thing (including sonas), and just general burnout.
My character's were never meant to fully represent me as who I really am, and when I tried to fit the role of a dedicated sona out of pressure from others or even my own misguided thoughts, it often blurred the lines between character and my personality to the point where people would assume it's often a 1-to-1. Actualizing my character's identities into my subconscious and inadvertently creating complications that forced me to take the mantle of someone I never was just for the sake of living up to the expectations me and others put me to.
I know that having myself as a sona hasn't worked before, but until recently I didn't understand why.
I will keep the purple lizard-looking character, but from now on I'm going to separate him from myself to prevent this mental dissociation from happening again. He was only called Xeph because I am, so now I have to create a name that fits him.
I will still find ways to use every character, but at the end of the day, characters is all they are.