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A cry from the heart.
6 months ago
I feel empty inside. The beginning of this year is very difficult. I force myself to draw. This is very bad. If I continue in the same spirit, it may end badly for my creativity.
I am trying to understand myself and understand the reasons for these feelings. Do not think that I do not love what I do. On the contrary, I am resisting with all my might and trying to hold on to this profession until the very end. My income has fallen dramatically. Instead of doing something that will bring me great pleasure in the process, I think about what I should draw so that it can be bought. This kills the spark of creativity in the process.
I admire artists who can consistently produce similar results for a long time. Their style and productivity are constant. Such people are always in demand. I can’t do this. You can immediately tell from my works when I squeeze it out of myself. There is no life in this. And the less life there is in such works, the less there is in me.
I want to create something unique every time I give something to people. It's not good for my work as a product. People need stability, right?
I haven't had any savings for several years now, and for the last six months I haven't earned anything more than the minimum I need to survive.
An artist, not a machine, unfortunately. Our work requires a lot of moral strength. Mine are running out because I feel unclaimed.
This terrible pattern sucks the creativity out of me. There is no strength left to draw something for myself.
Maybe you have some advice? How to remain yourself and stick to your principles and preferences, while not losing relevance as an artist?
I am trying to understand myself and understand the reasons for these feelings. Do not think that I do not love what I do. On the contrary, I am resisting with all my might and trying to hold on to this profession until the very end. My income has fallen dramatically. Instead of doing something that will bring me great pleasure in the process, I think about what I should draw so that it can be bought. This kills the spark of creativity in the process.
I admire artists who can consistently produce similar results for a long time. Their style and productivity are constant. Such people are always in demand. I can’t do this. You can immediately tell from my works when I squeeze it out of myself. There is no life in this. And the less life there is in such works, the less there is in me.
I want to create something unique every time I give something to people. It's not good for my work as a product. People need stability, right?
I haven't had any savings for several years now, and for the last six months I haven't earned anything more than the minimum I need to survive.
An artist, not a machine, unfortunately. Our work requires a lot of moral strength. Mine are running out because I feel unclaimed.
This terrible pattern sucks the creativity out of me. There is no strength left to draw something for myself.
Maybe you have some advice? How to remain yourself and stick to your principles and preferences, while not losing relevance as an artist?
Your artwork is wonderful, but in this community it can be hard to get attention without fanart and/or lewds. It's not fair. I hope you can find some reason and energy to keep going 🙏🏾
Thank you for your kind words☺️
i don't know if it's helpful to hear but for me personally it's a lot harder for me to invest a higher sum in a commission all at once (as opposed to smaller, simpler and cheaper pieces that are easier to fit into my budget); have you ever tried offering smaller more limited pieces that might be a bit more accessible perhaps? but still pieces/ideas you're happy with thematically etc? just one option at any rate!! 🥺💕
but you're absolutely right that artists are not machines!! i hope you can treat yourself kindly and keep doing what makes you happy, and get the support you deserve!! 🥺💖 i think your art is incredibly gorgeous and would love to commission you when funds permit 🥹🫶
My advice serves only to not making things worse, since I also don't know how to make things better in the circumstances we are in at the moment:
- Do NOT draw things like fanart or the same popular shit everyone is drawing only because you think it will bring money in (if you enjoy it, do it) because it will worsen the way you feel, even moreso if it STILL doesn't produce the desired engage/money/effect.
- The one tip given by Flyssie is super good. Not only payment plans but I think drawing something you can charge $5, $10 USD for and pump out a buch of, like stickers or very simple deforme lineart silly drawings of charas that may take you half an hour per piece, tops, could work wonders for your creative cravings (being that they sell well...).
- The economy EVERYWHERE is bad right now. Very bad. You need to be extremely popular, have branded yourself as a luxury item (like the artist that draws "waterhole/ gym YCH #29342" with 15 charas in them and charges exhorbitant prices for each chara, even when their quality has dropped through the years) and/or draw what's on demand to be relevant and that's something unbearable for some artists, maybe yourself included. The guilt felt for "being so useless/not being enough" is crushing. Think of it this way: You are not in the same circumstances nor have the same emotional resources than artists who can draw fanart/lewds/popular stuff all the time, so don't beat yourself up so much for not being able to do the same as easily as they make it seem (they mighy also be struggling, but just like on IG, you're only seeing their BEST. Most people don't go around parading and boasting about the bad parts of their lives).
- If it helps, it is also not only you feeling like this. A lot of artists (and all other freelancers) are going through that same feeling of emptiness and not being able to see where to aim at in life because their craft is not giving them the oportunity to pay for a decent living. Uncertainty can be heavy on some of us.
- Unsure of other pages, but I feel FA is definitely a gohst of what it used to be, engage-wise speaking, since whatever happened with some mods being pedos and abusing their power a few years ago. Try growing elsewhere with more engagement if you can once you have enough emotional resources to do so.
- Not having savings and being incapable of generating them for so long SUCKS and makes everything seem even worse than it is. It puts a mental pressure so big on us that is often crippling.
I try to focus more on the "at least I am not in debt" part of not having money, instead of on the "I am barely scraping by" part. The only thing that would solve this issue would be having more money :/.
- Having someone to vent to that LISTENS helps me a bit. Someone to help me carry the burden of living. Even if it makes me feel like a burden to my loved ones most of the time, it's a bit comforting knowing I can count on them at least a bit. Unsure of what's your situation regarding loved ones (I only have a couple of people myself) but I can listen to you vent if you need it, even if I am just some rando on the internet. I won't judge, I'll try my best to listen (read), I'll try my best to give advise if asked for. You can shoot me a note whenever, or add me on discord, I'll answer ASAP.
I know lot of artists use Fanart for growing their popularity but I've try it one and it's really strange feeling to draw someone or something you don't feel and love by yourself. I have some fandoms I loving with all my heart and planning the art in my head. Maybe one day when I'll be feel better and have free time.
Yes, social media is great opportunity and curse in the same time. Ones it helps to delete all of them (IG, twitter, pinterest) and concentrate only on your own craft.
Also agree. Trying to post regularly on Twitter and Bluesky since last year. People on Bluesky are really more openminded and kind right now as I see.
I have great friends who in the same situation right now. We are in the same boat.
I'm can live my life normaly only because of my great "almost husband". He pays for our food and home stuff. My set up was buy mostly by him but I have terrible "I have to do all by myself" nature>< He support me a lot but I judge myself so this "weakness" from myself.
Thank you for your advice~
Ie: Things you like, dislike. Things your good at and bad at. Things you'd like to do as a means to challange yourself, or experimental styles you want to try. Then create a rotating schedule of concise opening so you don't get over loaded with comissions. Five slots or less or some such. Then pivot into deals for those types of comission types as you rotate offers. It's feasibly a misunderstanding on my end. But it appears to me that you do a lot of ych offers, as you don't necessarily know how else to market your art. This isn't inherently a bad thing, but it does have two prominent drawbacks in that you consistently have make new ones to keep making profits. As well as you have the problem that sometimes they are hit or miss in interest to your audience. Which can lead to stress of having to figure out what will and won't sell. More over there is a slew of minor issues like: If it's too high no one will buy, butif it's too low too many will pick it up.
I would tentatively remind you that ych or commissions aren't necessarily the only ways to earn money. You can also make guides on how to draw, and sell the pdfs as a tutorial magazine. This has the added bonus that it can consistently sell more copies after doing it once. You can offer personal lessons to other artist or beginners. Make calenders, standees, posters and other merchandise. Collaberative works with friends might work too, like magazines or pdfs exploring seasonal subjects or themes might work too. Don't forget you can always make journals asking your audience about things they'd like to purchase or see more from you. Or other ways they'd like to support you and what they'd like to see in return for such things.
Do you mean ToS? Or it should be only for me? Like it helps me to undertand myself and structure my mind?
To tell the truth I've try to make guide for my Boosty subscribers but no one never saw it because I don't think that I'm good and skilled enough to teach anyone.
About merch and another cool stuff: usually it's fanart or artist's universes/OCs. I have couple my own characters but don't have energy to finish even refs at first. And also I think I do not have enough audience for passive income.
But ideas by their own really great and definitely work for bigger artists~
The economy has been bad for a while now especially the last few months.
But I think atleast one positive is artists how have changed from Twitter to bluesky have been much much more successful at reaching their audiences.
And I think you would do well there.
I’ve seen artists lately find happiness and success with mystery commissions. Lie drawing the clients character however your feel instead of from their prompt, if that makes sense.
I have also seen artists find success with mystery redesign commissions. Taking a clients character and modifying it in a way to make something new. I’ve seee people getting their characters redesigned to fit a cottage core or goth or scifi style and that’s been kind of cool.
Im sorry things have been so rough. I would like to commission you again soon when my work picks up and I have more disposable income. This time I would like to commission you to draw whatever you want ^^
Hang in there. Your art is incredible. You’re an amazing person!
Yes, the economy is ruin everywhere... Ah...Yet 4 years ago I can work with light heart and seve a good amount to afford the renovation of the apartment for which I am currently paying a mortgage already 5 years... I understand.
Bluesky is really greate place. People are active and lovely there~ Slowly but stable growing audience~
Half of my commissions I think is artistic freedom option ones. People throw their characters to me and let me draw what I feel. I appreciate it so much and characters are lovely by themselfs.
I really like idea with redesign with aesthetics~ Never hear about something like this. I think I have to try!
What I undertand from all the comments and messeges I've got before the post is that situation isn't 100% my fault and people wanted but temporally can't. This gives me the hope.
Thank you so much~
At first I adore your acrilyc artworks!~ And Tales from Myriad designs... Aaah...
I've thinking that my experiments with tecnique and styles are my weakness. Each artwork I'm trying something new. Last couple years almost do not draw in my comfort zone.
And yes, traditional art hits diffrent but there is a problem after years of digital: fear of mistake. I love aquarelle but feel pressure when start new piece. How do you work with it? Or it's not a big broblem for you?
I have really great friends with wich we're usually working together in Discord but when periods like this happen I try to fence off them from myself because I do not want to put all my bad emothions on them and corupt them with it.
I know how you feel, we want to be there for our friends when they are having a tough time but we don't want to be the cause of any stress for our friends. But we're all in this together so even if you say nothing your friends may still feel your pain and want to help out but don't know how to ask.
Арты офигенные у тебя и цены весьма доступные.
Лично я приметила такую штуку, будто людям не особо заходит что-то, как бы выразиться... "высокое". А твои работы именно такие. Они очень чувственные и сложные. Я вижу как ты вкладываешься. Я не хочу сказать что людям одни сиськи-письки подавай, но просто создалось ощущение за 6 лет работы, что ценителей именно искусства реально мало. Либо они просто не могут себе это позволить финансово (но это явно не твой случай как мне кажется).
Возможно это влияние кризиса, я не знаю. Возможно конкуренция за внимание стала слишком большой и теперь таким "ноунеймам" как мы она не по зубам.
У меня сердце рвётся когда вижу подобные журналы художников за которыми слежу.
Постараюсь помочь журналом, но я сама живу чисто за счёт постоянников в последнее время, так что... ну хоть что-то сделаю, пройти мимо сложно.
Спасибо большое. Не думала, что кто-то может видеть мое творчество под таким углом. Конечно, я всегда говорю окружающим, что без чувств хорошей работы не выходит, но подсознательно думала, что в своих работах только я вижу те чувства, что вкладываю.
По поводу кризиса... он однозначно влияет и длится это уже не первый год. С каждым полугодием ситуация все хуже, на самом деле.
Очень выручают платные подписчики с Бусти. Очень мне повезло, что там собрались тихие, но поддерживающие меня заказчики.
Стабильно присылают персонажей и терпеливо ждут, пока я соберу себя в комочек. Никогда не давят. Благодаря им какая-то стабильность в финансах присутствует.
Спасибо за комментарий~
When I feel horrible and need the spark back to draw again, I play Chicory: A Colorful Tale. If that doesn't work, I avoid drawing on purpose until I crave it again.
I do read manga and play games in the evengs. Also from last year I have couple rules for me to stay health at least phisically: I do work till 5 pm and do not work on weekends. I live not alone and my "almost husband" works on a regular job 8 hs 5 days a week. On weekends we clean our house and cook food for next week. Also I'm trying to do yoga or something almost everyday. But all of that watering for my garden not always helps as we can see. This is bare minimum we can do for ours bodies to help our minds be productive.
On the contrary, I have been trying to avoid NSFW works for myself lately. It acts destructively on me. I believe that this type of art needs to be loved by artist so that it becomes real and not lifeless. There are many talented artists in the world who create such art and love it. I know that it sales better and understand why but I think I'll fall deeper down if wil do it while hate how it turns.
Thank you~
Write to you there.
My friend have similar parttime job. She's get it in a place where she learns by herself. In my city there is no opportunity like this at all. It's pretty small. Also I do not see anything like this is Russia in ethernet.
In past after graduation I've try to get a job as a primary school art teacher but other teachers just don't agree to share their working hours with someone else... Yea in my region there is almost no job like this if you don't have any connections... And I can't leave it by many reasons not because only me.
Thank you for sharing with your experience~