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The wishes of my boyfriend, Savage. R.I.P.
6 months ago
Savage has stated in another note that I had stumbled across that went into some detail about what was a contributor to his unfortunate passing. He felt...distant from others, and had expressed that it felt like people "had other things on their mind", instead of just spending a little bit of time talking with him, or even acknowledging him. Another thing, he had noted that he had found it in his heart to let go of the past, not holding any more grudges against those who he had thought "wronged him".
I won't name names, but they were people who he had talked to frequently on Discord on a few of the servers there. Those individuals are more than free to talk to me if they have anything to say or ask. I have taken ownership of all of his media, as stated in my previous journal,
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/11092910/
Savage will be missed. It is disheartening that he felt so distant, though I knew everything that happened. It wouldn't be fair to point fingers and say that anyone was to blame. But that doesn't mean that mental health isn't important. His friends had told him to seek help and find peace, but...it was just too late.
The damage of being abandoned by those he felt close to in his time of need, when I wasn't around, had already been done. It slowly ate away at him. His personality had changed, but he knew I at least cared about him. He didn't leave out any details about the drama that went on between him and others on Discord. I knew everything, and he was very open about it, although he felt terrible for how he spoke to those who he considered his friends. He had no ill will against them, even though the contrary is true. He had a lot of resentment and rage towards them, as he felt abandoned afterwards.
That being said, he and I both knew that he would have had much more patience if the roles were reversed. He had only hoped that people cared about him enough, not only to not take his own life, but just to show that he actually meant something. That he belonged. That he was special and a bright person. Although Savage had his own personal demons that he constantly battled, he still simultaneously felt unvalued and unloved.
Spread your wings, Savage. Those bad thoughts won't hurt you ever, ever again.
Those who talked with him, including the aforementioned individuals, are free to speak to me in his DMs on Discord. Condolences are appreciated and welcome by all.
Savage, my love...I am so sorry that you had to go through this. Just know that I loved you will all of my heart. I can't even put it into words just how much I cared about you. Rest well, my everything. 🪦👼🤍
I won't name names, but they were people who he had talked to frequently on Discord on a few of the servers there. Those individuals are more than free to talk to me if they have anything to say or ask. I have taken ownership of all of his media, as stated in my previous journal,
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/11092910/
Savage will be missed. It is disheartening that he felt so distant, though I knew everything that happened. It wouldn't be fair to point fingers and say that anyone was to blame. But that doesn't mean that mental health isn't important. His friends had told him to seek help and find peace, but...it was just too late.
The damage of being abandoned by those he felt close to in his time of need, when I wasn't around, had already been done. It slowly ate away at him. His personality had changed, but he knew I at least cared about him. He didn't leave out any details about the drama that went on between him and others on Discord. I knew everything, and he was very open about it, although he felt terrible for how he spoke to those who he considered his friends. He had no ill will against them, even though the contrary is true. He had a lot of resentment and rage towards them, as he felt abandoned afterwards.
That being said, he and I both knew that he would have had much more patience if the roles were reversed. He had only hoped that people cared about him enough, not only to not take his own life, but just to show that he actually meant something. That he belonged. That he was special and a bright person. Although Savage had his own personal demons that he constantly battled, he still simultaneously felt unvalued and unloved.
Spread your wings, Savage. Those bad thoughts won't hurt you ever, ever again.
Those who talked with him, including the aforementioned individuals, are free to speak to me in his DMs on Discord. Condolences are appreciated and welcome by all.
Savage, my love...I am so sorry that you had to go through this. Just know that I loved you will all of my heart. I can't even put it into words just how much I cared about you. Rest well, my everything. 🪦👼🤍
