I resisted talking about it, but now that the deadline's almost here, the panic attacks that I sometimes hoped had gone away for good are back in full strength. It's dredging up bad memories of my formative years, when I spent every month uncertain if we'd have a place to live next month, but at least it never actually happened in those days.

The current situation: My cancer-patient stepfather and I had been just barely able to make ends meet since our great loss last year, but then, the exact same thing that cost me my childhood home in Oakland happened again: New landlord bought the building, updated rent is higher than our (extremely low) combined income, and we have to get out of here. The difference is that this time it's taking place in 2025 America, so everyone who was able to help last time is much worse off than they were back then. Plus, despite fighting my disorders hard enough that I've been hunting for options since the end of last year, I've had almost no luck. Due to my disability, I have to be a choosy beggar, and need a place that's both under my laughably low budget and is close enough that I don't have to uproot my life and routine too badly. Several places that did contact me back instantly rejected me when they found out I'm on disability, which is a great sign about human nature. (I'm still communicating with a single place that hasn't shut me down yet, but I'm not exactly hopeful... and I'm nearly out of time, anyway.)

There are two most frustrating parts that stand out: thanks to the extreme generosity of people I didn't even know, I have more funds to work with than I've ever had in my life, but that's not helping. That amount of funds still won't cover two months average rent, and finding a place on short notice is just as much of a nightmare as I suspected it would be. Second... I've supposedly been accepted to a HUD subsidized building already, the perfect solution for someone as badly off as me, but they can't give me any hint when one of their units will be available. If one had opened up any time up to now, I'd have nothing to even stress about. Instead, they might send me a notification at any time, and if I no longer have a place to keep my stuff and get online, I'll have no way of seeing it.

Short version: I have about a day left to find a room for under $700 per month in the Denver area.